


Days of Kinder

by Sincerelywithlove



Series: From the Keys to the Stage [1]
Category: Ed Sheeran (Musician), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kindergarten & Pre-school, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Anxiety, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Domestic Violence, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Kid Fic, M/M, Pining, Singing, Single Parents, Teaching, fear of butterflies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2017-12-22 04:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 57,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/908882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sincerelywithlove/pseuds/Sincerelywithlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam's worked toward being a teacher his entire life, well the totality of four too many years, and his first year of teaching kindergarten is probably his most eventful year. He probably puts a little too much effort into things his kids won't even bother to notice but he doesn't mind. Liam's kids are his kids and he'll do anything to make sure they get ahead, or in some cases back to where they're supposed to be. Along the way he'll try not to lose his temper with Louis, the rambunctious, or feel too bad for disciplining Harry, Louis' follower, and he'll try really hard not to give up on Niall, the hyperactive, who seems intent on not learning to read. If he finds love in the music teacher down the hall along the way, well, that's just something he can't help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trouble Trio

It's the first day of school and this is really what Liam's worked for, for years. All of his time was spent in a small university taking more classes than a normal person could probably handle so that an employer wouldn't think less of him for his poor choice in schooling. "You'll do fine," he tells himself as he checks over his appearance in the mirror. He shuts his hazel eyes and breathes in as deeply as he can. "They're just children. Probably only five years old at that," he breathes out as he opens his eyes and straightens out the curve of his collar. With one last effort to make himself look up to his own standards, he runs his fingers over his hair to make sure the tufts are in their perfect places.

"Just little children," Liam repeats because he really can't be that afraid of little beings that barely pass his knees. He tugs at the hem of his shirt before leaning down to pull at the laces of his leather shoes, they weren't the most expensive and certainly weren't Italian but they were the best he could afford and they were shined till the tops reflected every bit of light. "All you have to do today is say your name is Mr. Payne or Mr. Liam... Which is it? Is it appropriate to let them call me Mr. Liam?" he scrubs a hand over his face and inhales because he's really too nervous for a simple job that really only requires him to teach children to count and to read. But, _oh God_ , how was even supposed to do that?

Liam counts aloud to himself for a small moment before cursing at himself for acting so juvenile. He proceeds then to make himself a cup of coffee because he really should start the short drive to the school. With sugar and milk forgotten, he grabs his black backpack and heads out to his car with the mug in hand. The heat of his coffee is burning his fingers through the green glazed ceramic of his mug but he pointedly ignores that fact as he slides into his car. Liam sips desperately at the liquid as he drives toward the small school. Realistically, he can see the building a few streets away from his flat's balcony, but he takes more turns than necessary to turn the drive into a journey. "You're being pathetic," he mumbles to himself after he parks and rests his head against the steering wheel.

_Another ten minutes wasted_ , he thinks as his body still refuses to escape from the confines of the car. _Get out of your damn car and go make sure all of your fliers are still set up with coordinating colors on every desk_. With a heavy sigh he leans back in his seat and grabs his backpack. Liam leaves his car without his coffee mug and by the time he realizes he doesn't have it, he deems it too late to go back.

Briskly, he walks to his class room. It's still early and if the dark classrooms are any indication, he might be the only teacher there. Just as he reaches his classroom door, the lights of the class room at the end of the hall turn on with flustered blinking. "Music room?" he wonders aloud, but he shrugs it off because he has other things to do.

"Blue, purple, red..." he voices as he surveys the little desks that are set up in small groups of three around his room. "Orange, yellow, green..." there are small stacks on each of the desks organized in terms of what colors equal others when they're combined. Honestly, Liam doubts that the kids will notice the arrangement other than to trade papers with each other but he doesn't care because he knows he put the effort in and well a gold star from himself is worth just as much as a child learning their colors. _Okay_ , that's a lie. The day that one of his kids can tell him what red and blue make together, well, Liam will probably throw a party.

He flits around the room frantically readjusting the alphabet posters on the walls, scribbling his name out on the board in seven different ways before deciding that probably makes him look like a bit of a sociopath, and he even takes a lint roller to the puzzle piece mat that he worked over time just to purchase.

Liam's in the process of making sure all of his supplies are parallel to each other with a ruler when the first small knock comes to his door. When he looks up he finds a small boy with tear filled green eyes under a mop of brown curls clinging to the pant leg of a young mother. "Ah, this is the Kindergarten classroom?" the woman asks. She's got dark brown hair, much like the little boy's, that flows over her shoulders gently and frames her face.

"Oh, yes! Yes, it is. I'm Mr. Liam," he wanders over to her and extends a nervous hand. _Mr. Liam,_ he thinks that, _yeah_ , he's going to stick with that.

The woman gives him a warm smile as she shakes his hand, "Lovely, I'm Anne and this is my son, Harry." Anne gives the little boy an encouraging pat on his curls, "Can you tell Mr. Liam hello, Harry?"

Harry spares Liam a glance before sniffling and burying his face back into his mum's pant leg.

With a slightly faltering smile, Liam squats down to Harry's level, "Hey, mister. I won't bite, you know, and because you're first I'm going to let you in on a very-special-top-secret secret, okay?"

"Secret?" Harry repeats with a small peak out from the fabric of his mum's trousers. His r's sound more like w's and Liam thinks that maybe he's never heard anything so cute.

"Yeah," Liam affirms as Anne offers him another smile. "The secret is that if you pick the blue desk, you get to pick from the treasure box," he gives a small point to a box on top of his own desk. It's decorated rather haphazardly but he spent more time on it than he did on his dissertation. Not that he would admit that to anyone, of course, because his dissertation took him a month and a half, and the weird sleep patterns he developed planted him in the hospital for three days.

Harry eyes the box a little fuller before glancing around at the desks. He hesitantly releases his mum's pant leg and teeters over to a desk with a stack of blue papers. "Blue," Harry points to the papers before sitting in the desk.

"Very good!" Liam thinks he might cry, and really ugly crocodile tears of joy at that. "When everyone gets here, you can dig in the treasure chest!"

Anne lets out a small laugh, "I thought that would be more difficult. He would hardly let me put him in his car seat this morning." She tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear and places Harry's tiny back pack on the nearest hook, "He's only just turned four earlier this year... I was going to keep him at home another year but this is just kind of what ended up happening..."

"I think he'll probably be ahead of the game for a few days anyway, so it's not to worry," Liam grins at her. "Those papers are actually for you, by the way, so when you pick him up I'll make sure that you get them. They're just information about the curriculum, forms for the school and things of that nature," he tacks on.

She nods along with every word, "Well, I've got to get going. If anything happens just give me a call." Anne quickly goes to place a kiss in Harry's curls before dismissing herself from the room.

Liam keeps post at the door and glances occasionally in little Harry's direction. He's a minutely amused that Harry has this small polo with green and black strips on it on because it's most definitely a first day of school best outfit. He considers asking Harry if green is his favorite color but decides against it with the fear that he might make Harry cry by bothering him.

A pair of twins wander in soon after his thoughts with their blonde hair tied up in pigtails. They're without thier respective parental figures and Liam decides he's never been more grateful that whoever dressed them put them in different color dresses. He learns their names are Kara and Katelyn. He tries not to be disappointed when they sit far away from Harry and shift around stacks of paper so that they both have yellow.

After the twins, three separate parent-child groups trickle in. The first is a young father dropping off a small freckled boy with fiery orange hair and large round glasses by the name of Ed. Ed sits at an empty grouping of desks and doesn't look the slightest bit happy about having to do so. The second is a grand father trying to remove a girl with dark brown braids from his hand. Liam learns this girl's name is Eleanor after her grand father shouts for her to let go because he's got to get to work. Eleanor sits catty-corner to Ed. The third is a tired looking mother with blond hair and a nearly black haired boy with pale skin clinging to her pinky. When the boy looks up, Liam finds that the small boy has the largest clear blue eyes he thinks he's ever seen.

"He's a little nervous," his mum tells Liam as she helps her son adjust the ruffled mess of his blue t-shirt. Liam vaguely notices that there is a red octopus taking over a pirate ship on the front of his shirt. "Tell your teacher your name," she instructs.

The little boy looks up at Liam and lifts his little eyebrows beneath his scattered bangs a little challengingly. "It's Niall, like the river," he proclaims. Niall's words run together but Liam can't help the smile that splits his own face because that's probably the most indignant fact he's heard come from a child.

"Welcome, Niall like the river," Liam says with a small bow towards the child. "Pick your throne," he advises Niall as he motions toward the desks.

Niall peers at him for a little while before his nose scrunches up and he releases his mum's pinky finger. He walks over and sits in the seat across from Harry.

"He means well, really he does," his mum assures Liam. "He just doesn't take well to _male_ authority is all. If he gives you any trouble, please don't hesitate to give me a call," she gives Liam this weary look but he doesn't ask any questions because it isn't his business and she bids him goodbye.

Liam observes the two little boys sitting near each other and tries not to laugh when Niall attempts to take one of Harry's papers as a trade but Harry only grips his stack tighter. _Purple_ , Liam thinks to himself. Niall chose the desk with purple papers. He tries not to think about how the colors are fitting for the two boys.

Six more groups enter Liam's room. His five desk groups of three fill up with five more girls and one boy who daringly seats himself with the twins. The tardy bell rings and Liam meanders around a little because there's still one empty desk at Niall and Harry's group and he doesn't want to start without his last student.

"Johannah, I told you I am not going!" a voice echos down the hallway with the squeak of rubber shoes being forcefully skid across the tile flooring in the hall.

A woman responds to the child but Liam can't hear it. He feels guilty for hoping the child doesn't come into his classroom.

"Johannah!" the voice shouts again and it's closer, boyish even.

A woman appears in Liam's door way then, she looks a little frazzled with her hair struggling to stay in the ponytail holder she's placed it in as she grips the wrist of a small tan boy with chestnut hair and a smattering of freckles who seems determined to over rule Newton's law and pull her in the opposite direction. " _Louis William Tomlinson_ ," she mutters exasperatedly as she tugs the small boy around to the front of her.

"Johannah," the small boy wrinkles his nose as the word tumbles from his lips. He's got on a red shirt that has a large version of Spiderman's mask covering the front.

"Behave," she tells him sternly with a motion in Liam's direction.

Louis gives Liam a look that could probably rekill the dead sea and his blue eyes looks about ready to drown him in as cruel a manner as possible. "Whatever, Johannah. You know I'm too old for this baby class," his words trip over each other like they're in a race to escape his mouth.

His mum lets out a ragged sigh and pushes him in the direction of the desks before setting his back pack near the now over flowing hook rack. "Sorry about that," she begins. "He's just a little upset that he isn't moving forward with his friends. Louis just has trouble learning, a little slow, you know? He's a sweet boy just has trouble keeping up," Johannah sighs.

Liam wonders if it's okay to be a little mad that the child's own mum would call him _slow_. "I'll take care of him, don't worry miss," he tells her. "I'm sure he'll do great."

"Sure," she says before waving and disappearing with out a goodbye for her small son.

"Great," Liam breathes as he turns back to his classroom and rubs his hands together. He thinks the scene before him might be a record for the first day of school. "Louis," he begins.

The newest addition to his class is tearing his stack of red papers to pieces and crumpling them up before hiding them in Harry's curls. Little Harry seems very intent on ignoring the action while Niall looks on with a new smile of awe burning his cheeks a bright red. "What," Louis says as the class turns to glance at the mess.

"What are you doing?" Liam enquires as he rests his hands on his hips.

Louis shrugs his shoulders, "Hiding monsters in Harry's hair."

The green fabric of Harry's shirt lifts as his little shoulders stiffen, "Monsters?"

"Little scary ones," Louis clarifies as Liam walks closer. "They hide in people's curls first like ninjas. Then, they take over your brain and they..."

There are tears dripping down Harry's round cheeks now.

"Louis, that's enough..." Liam starts with full intent of moving Louis to the discipline chair.

However, Louis stops placing wads in Harry's hair after a glance at his face. "Just kidding you," Louis says loudly as he begins picking the papers out and tossing them in Niall's direction. "They're not monsters, silly. Don't cry," he continues on.

He knows this will be his trouble group but he thinks he doesn't mind as he claps for the class' attention and begins talking about the fun things they're going to do in his class. When Harry quietly raises his stack of blue papers in the middle of his speech, Liam laughs and lets him pick from the treasure chest. Harry goes back to his little group and splits his mini bag of M&M's between himself and the two other boys.

_Blue_ , Liam thinks, Harry the docile, _red_ , Louis the rambunctious and _purple_ , Niall the mix.


	2. Superman!

By the time Liam's alarm clock wakes him rather unceremoniously at  _6:25_ on Tuesday, he's realized that this schedule is one that will have him drinking enough coffee to bring King George II back from the grave.  _You died on the toilet,_ Liam thinks of the deceased King as he turns back his duvet,  _would you have enough dignity to keep living?_ He shrugs his shoulders to the thought and scratches at the thin layer of hair that's beginning to speckle his jaw. With a palm braced on the mattress, Liam pushes himself off of his bed and tries not to regret leaving the warm comfort of it. "The kids,  _Liam_ ," he chides as the cool air of his bedroom brushes over his chest. 

"Today," he begins talking himself through the routine of the day as he flicks on the bathroom light. "The kids are going to get to know each other. They're all going to be friends and it will just be that easy," his stare tiredly follows the drizzle of his toothpaste as it covers the bristles of his toothbrush in green before he begins scrubbing at his teeth. He hums as he brushes and counts along until two minutes passes and he rinses his mouth. 

"Who am I kidding? They all are probably going to sit in opposite corners and just..." Liam rubs a hand over his face and stares down his reflection. "It's probably going to be more awkward than when Matt brought his cousin to prom..." He really needs to work on his early morning pep talks, like in the sense of where he stops trying to have them with himself because clearly they're not working. 

After sorting his hair and attempting to minimize the stubble dotting his jaw, Liam tugs on a pair of khaki trousers and a nice blue button up that quite reminds him of his little trouble trio. A smile curls his lips by  _7:15_ as he pours a generous amount of coffee grinds into the pot's filter.  _It'll be a fantastic second day,_ he decides with a nod to himself. With little taps of his fingers on the laminent counter top, he waits for his coffee to brew and when it's finished pouring into his thermos, an improvement to his previous coffee-in-mug theory of going to school, he snatches his keys off the small wooden table in his kitchen.

Softly humming, Liam tosses his backpack into the passenger seat of his car and makes his way to the school. The feeling of nervous dread from the previous day and the morning has mostly dissipated by the time he parks in the same space of the carpark that he had claimed the day before.  _Mine,_ he grins with a kick at the 'staff only' metal sign in front of his car as he makes his way cheerily to the front entrance.

"Perrie, it's a little early for this, don't you think?" a scratchy voice reaches Liam's ears as a cloud of smoke filters into his lungs. There's a young man, maybe about Liam's age, standing in the walkway that would trail around the entire school if one were to choose to well, have the need to walk around the entire school. He has a head of dark hair that's carefully styled, Liam thinks anyway as he's currently staring down the back of him, and a grey sweater covering the slim figure of his upper half. Just barely peaking out of the bottom of a semi-rolled sleeve, there appears to be a smattering of darkly inked tattoos. "I can't bring you the key right now," the man says with a smokey huff of irritation. 

Liam's beginning to wonder when he stopped walking because personally, he dislikes the smell of cigarette smoke and he really should just tell this stranger that his business should be taken off school grounds.

"You're being unreasonable," the man growls into his phone as his weight shifts from one foot to the other and he lifts his cigarette toward his lips. "I get it alright, you need his bag from the flat. You're not listening to me though -- Christ, I can bring it too you during the lunch break! That's all I can offer you!" 

When the stranger starts to turn, Liam bolts inside the school because well it's safer that way and he's beginning to think that the stranger wears enough cologne with the dusting of smoke to knock out a small Italian girl.  _What does that even mean?_ Liam scrubs a hand through his hair and paces through the building to his classroom. 

There's a small figure sitting against his door and upon walking closer, Liam recognizes the little frame to be that of a very sleepy eyed Louis. "Good morning," Liam greets with a curious look and a smile at the child.

Squinting his blue eyes up at Liam, Louis wrinkles his nose and rubs his balled fists over his eyes.

"You're here early," Liam tells him as he unlocks his door and Louis gets to his feet. "I thought you would be late like yesterday."

"Mummy works early," Louis drags his backpack across the threshold of the room and saunters over to his chair, leaving his bag in the middle of the trek, before Liam can even walk through the door.

Silence settles over the room as Liam sets his things on his desk and Louis lays his head down on his own. The little one is wearing a Superman shirt that has a small red cape sewn to the back of it, Liam can imagine several bad things that could happen because of that cape: someone grabbing it and pulling Louis down, Louis developing a hero persona and getting the other kids stuck in weird places so he can save them, lots of SUPERMAN! yelling, but for the most part he thinks it's rather adorable so he'll allow it until it becomes an issue of safety. 

"Want to help me with something, Louis? I could use a hero's help?" Liam asks as he pulls out a stack of papers. 

Louis' eyelashes flutter but he doesn't move from his seat.

For a small moment, Liam hesitates, but his hesitation is replaced by a grin as he holds his stack of papers in the air. "Someone help! Help!" Liam chirps with waves of his hands and the papers.

A surprised grin overtakes Louis' face as he stumbles off of his chair, "Superman!" 

"I  _desperately_  need you to put one of these on every desk. It's a job only a hero could do," Liam bends to Louis' level with a pleading look. 

The stack of papers is snatched from his hands before he can attempt to act like a poorly schooled citizen any longer. "Superman will save the day!" Louis shouts as he dashes about the room and really he's just throwing the papers at the desks, the majority of them landing on the floor, but he's at least attempting to be productive.

"What's he doing?" a high voice brings Liam's attention back to the doorway where Eleanor stands with a death grip on her grandfather's wrist. The poor elderly man has to lean just for her to reach. 

With a skidding of his shoes on the bristly carpet, Louis comes to a halt in front of her and her yellow polka dot dress. "Saving the day," he states with a challenging little raise of his eyebrows beneath his chestnut fringe. 

"Making a mess," Eleanor rests her free hand on her hip and purses her lips.

Liam can see his whole day spiraling into the pits of hell.

"No," Louis wrinkles his nose at her. "What do you know,  _Smelleanor."_

 _Oh God,_ Liam begins making his way over to the pair with tentative steps and really this is the second day. How does Louis even remember her name well enough to make fun of it like that? 

"Young man," Eleanor's grandfather stoops down to Louis level with an even stare. "That isn't something to say to a lady. You should tell her you're sorry, don't you think?" he continues.

Eleanor's bottom lip is beginning to quiver as she eyes the little boy in front of her.

Tutting, Louis points a finger at Eleanor's face as an indignant look overcomes his own. "She isn't a  _lady,"_  Louis huffs.

"Looks like our hero is going to have to start the day in the discipline chair," Liam rests his hands on his hips and lets out a heavy sigh. "Just think of all the people that are needing saving that will have to wait because Superman decided to be a  _villain,"_ his stare meets Louis'. 

"I'm sorry, Sm -- Eleanor," Louis bows out as he moves his stare to the floor with a small glance up at Liam for approval.

Liam nods in response and watches as Louis retreats to his desk. "All good, El?" Liam peers down at the little girl with waves of brown hair as her grandfather pushes to his feet and wanders out of the room with a pat to his granddaughter's small head.

"At least I'm not _stupid_ ," Eleanor spits the words at the back of Louis head but he doesn't seem to hear it, so Liam just sighs and waves her on to her desk.

The two little ones send glares in each others directions as the rest of Liam's kids trickle into the room. Five minutes before the warning bell, Niall tumbles into the room with Ed and Harry on his heels. Ed drags Harry behind him by the pink of Harry's sweater sleeve and the boy with the little chocolate curls looks as if he had probably been clinging to the flagpole outside to keep from having to enter the classroom. 

"Good morning kiddies!" Liam exclaims to the half asleep children seated in front of him. Their unamused expressions suggest he should probably bring down the intensity but he's not going to pay any attention to that. "Yesterday was boring info day, did any of you bring back your forms? If you did, you get an extra cookie at snack time!" he watches in amusement as their little heads perk up before a rainbow of colors fill the air in the grasps of small waving hands. 

"Very good, guys," Liam grins as he walks about the room collecting the papers. He has to stop to scold only four of his kids about not bringing the papers back, the last is a very pouty faced and red cheeked Niall, "What's wrong, oh, Niall like the river? You can bring it in tomorrow, it's okay."

Niall's bottom lip curves further in the corners but he seems to pointedly ignore Liam.

"Well, today we're going to do some fun things, or well more fun at least,"  _I hope,_ is what he wants to add. "There are crayons and papers on your... well around your desks and we're going to draw our families. Then, we're going to have story time so that each of you can tell the class a story about your family!"  _The more excited you are about it, the more excited they'll be,_ Liam reminds himself as he uses animated waves of his hands and a giant grin.

The kids seem to accept the idea and begin to scribble with the crayons. Liam watches with a small laugh as Louis leans over Harry's very defensive little arm to scribble an addition of red crayon on Harry's drawing. "Hey!" Harry pouts with a squawk at the lines that are very clearly not members of his family. 

"'M drawing a house," Louis tells him as he moves Harry's arm out of his way and continues drawing with a concentrated look. 

Giving the kids about ten minutes, Liam realizes that his crayons are being used more to attempt coloring each other rather than their papers, so, "Let's all make a circle on the puzzle mat for story time!" He settles himself onto one of the yellow pieces and waits for the kids to follow suit. "Who wants to tell a story first? Raise your hand!" 

He really shouldn't be surprised that Louis' small hand is the first to fly into the air. "Louis, go ahead," Liam encourages as the little hero teeters to his feet before showing his drawing to the rest of the class. 

Louis' drawing is just of two people, one appears to be a woman if the long brown streaks around the face circle are any indication. Both of the people are wearing capes. "It's just me and my mummy," Louis begins with a toothy little grin. "My mummy is a superhero! She saves the little babies at the hospital every day. She says one day I can save people too!" 

"Too stupid to save anyone," Eleanor giggles into her hand. 

A frown dips into Liam's face.  _Strike two,_ he thinks. "Very good, Louis!" He takes the drawing from Louis and settles it onto his lap before leveling Eleanor with a look. 

The offending little brunette merely grimaces in return and turns her head away.

There's a little dip to the corners of Louis' mouth and his eyebrows furrow for just a moment before a painful looking grin reclaims his face. "Harry, you should go next! I pick, Harry, okay Mr. Liam?" he plops back down into his seat before poking at Harry's cheek. "Harry should go, shouldn't he, Mr. Liam?"

"Well, if Harry would like to go next, he can," Liam nods along and really Harry seems to be completely inclined to dig his heels in and say  _no._ "Would you like to go next, Harry?"

Harry's green eyes widen desperately, his curls falling away from his face as he looks around at the other kids for a way out. He looks particularly long at Louis with a pouted lip as he pulls at the velcro on his shoes.

"You don't  _have_  to, Harry," Louis frowns in turn and crosses his arms over his chest, decidedly looking every where but at Harry.

"Yeah, you don't  _have_ to, Harry," Niall chimes in gleefully, the dark tufts of his hair are combed across his forehead as he grins. 

The frown on Louis' lips deepens as he rolls his eyes at Niall, "Shut up,  _Niall_." His stare settles back on Harry's face after a moment, his thin eyebrows raised expectantly. 

Stumbling to his feet, Harry hides his face behind his drawing.

Louis grins widely and Niall quiets down.

"I -- I live with my mummy and my big sister, Gem... Gem," Harry stutters out and the small work of art is trembling in his grasp. Louis' drawing of a 'house' stands out in red crayon starkly against the rest of the drawing where Harry's attempted to portray his family. 

Raising a pale hand, Ed tilts his head boredly from the opposite side of the mat, "You're sister is named Gem Gem?"

The paper crinkles in Harry's small hands as a sniffle projects from where he's hidden his face and a few little laughs rise from the class. 

"Gemma!" Niall declares for him as loudly as he can, his face going a little red with the volume.

"Inside voice..." Liam sighs, only mildly wondering how Niall might have known that bit of information. Louis seems just as intent on finding out the reason.

Probably using a little more force than necessary, Louis tugs Harry back down into the space beside him. Their knobby knees are touching and Louis is still clinging to Harry's arm. Liam should probably go over personal space and things like that at some point. " _I_ drawed Harry's house," he declares brightly, his grip tightening around Harry's arm.

"My house doesn't look like that," Harry says quietly before Louis shushes him.

By the time the last of the little ones is going, Liam is nursing a very Louis inflicted headache and it's nearing the time for them to go down to the Music room. "Alright!" Liam stands easily from the mat, if he's interrupting the last of Eleanor's spiel then well, she sort of deserves it today. "Every body get in a line at the door and hold hands with your table group buddies!" he explains taking up a post at the door.

Louis tumbles to his feet first, latching onto Harry's small hand and yanking him to his feet. "Come on, Harry!" he doesn't wait for Niall as he drags Harry all the way to stand in front of Liam. 

"Wait for me...!" Niall trips over the loose shoelaces on his shoes on the little run from the mat to the door. 

If Liam had the time to cringe at the sound Niall's head makes when it smacks the floor, oh he would, but Niall is sitting up and there's no time. "Are you alright?" Liam questions quickly as he rushes over to where tears are most definitely dripping over Niall's cheeks.  _Who are you kidding? He's about to--_

A loud cry escapes Niall's lips as he sniffles. There's a giant red mark on his forehead from where he hit the carpet but other than that he looks pretty okay. "Hey, hey..." Liam hushes him.

"It's okay, Ni!" Louis shouts before he very nearly tackles Niall, wrapping his thin arms tightly around the smaller boy. 

Harry stands abandoned by the door with the other kids lined up behind him, his little hand is still lifted where Louis once stood holding it. He looks a little lost at how quickly the older boy left his side. Liam doesn't blame him. 

Sniffling around little hiccups, Niall lets Louis wipe a little too roughly at his eyes before standing him up. "Thank you," Niall whimpers as Louis grabs his hand and drags him over to where Harry stands waiting for them.

With a little struggling, Louis ties Niall's shoes before standing and grabbing both Niall and Harry's hands. "We're ready to go wherever now, Mr. Liam!" Louis announces.

"Well, alright then," Liam stands up straight, scratching the back of his neck as he does. "We're going to Music class now! Who's excited?" There are a few little gasps and excitedly raised hands as Liam begins leading them down the hallway. He scolds Louis whenever he gets too far ahead of them or if he happens to drag either of his desk buddies a little too quickly. 

When they finally reach the Music classroom, Liam is met with a rather surprisingly familiar face, or body. He hadn't had the opportunity to really look at his face, but  _oh,_ he wishes he did earlier.  _The guy from outside,_ Liam blinks harshly at the man. His face is lightly tanned and he has a dark stubble speckling down his jaw as well as around his lips. Liam might be staring.

"Hi everyone!" the man greets Liam's kids brightly as they filter into the room with wide smiles. His sweater covered arms are outstretched to the room where several instruments are strewn as well as drawings of instruments. "Welcome to Music class! Every one take a seat in a circle, okay?" he instructs as Liam idles warily in the doorway.

The kids scury to do what he says as he approaches Liam. "Well, I've got them for the next hour before I bring them back to you at lunch," he informs Liam. The smell of stale cigarette smoke isn't there as he stands at Liam's side. He sort of smells  _really_ lovely actually. 

"Right, right. I'm Mr. Payne, by the way," Liam manages, offering his hand out to the other lad. "Liam, actually. I guess you can call me Liam."

With a small close lipped smile, the Music teacher shakes his hand. "Liam, I'm Zayn Malik," he holds on a little bit longer before dropping Liam's hand and gesturing to the kids who are seemingly growing restless, Louis' braiding the long strands of Harry's curls. Liam really needs to talk about personal space. "I should probably get started," Zayn suggests.

Nodding quickly, Liam backs up to the door, "Right! I'll meet you in the lunch room to take over then. I'll see you all later kiddies!"

The kids turn in their spots to wave haphazardly at Liam until Zayn ushers him out of the room and shuts the door in his face. The force of the door pushes a little wave of air in Liam's face and  _oh,_ there's that cologne smell again. Liam doesn't even want to begin thinking about the fact that he plays some sort of instrument. He tries to remind himself that Zayn is probably just a pretty face and he most certainly sounded like he had a  _lady_ friend this morning. 

This Tuesday, Thursday pattern of seeing Mr. Malik is going to kill him if his kids don't kill him first.  _It's only the first Tuesday, Liam. Only the first._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr at thatkaitykid.tumblr.com for updates and things like that! THANKS!


	3. ME ARF LFARNLNG TO ZPFII

Class has been in session for the Fall term for only two weeks and Liam has learned way too many things for being the one who should be teaching others. For starters, he learned that Niall's father has a particular affinity for not showing up on time to pick up his children, which is really none of Liam's business aside from the fact that two hours passed the end of school bell should be a red flag not to be ignored. Second, he's identified the reason as to why Louis was unable to move onto the next grade level. Louis' both destructive and highly sociable with the perfect side dish of rowdy. Personally, Liam thinks the boy might be a tad bit on the ADHD side but that's not his decision and he's never been particularly fond of labeling over active and happy children as anything other than  _children._ He's also come upon the fact that Harry only utters about three words and they're only to Louis or Niall, which would be alright if Liam weren't a teacher and he didn't have to actually question Harry about the easy course material. 

All in all, Liam feels mildly like dousing himself in gasoline or possibly burrowing so deeply into his sheets that no one can ever find him. Which none of those feelings have anything to do with the stubbled, sharp jawed, slightly smokey teacher that is a consistent presence down the hallway. Absolutely none of them. Really. 

"Who can tell me what this letter is and what word starts with it?" Liam asks as he points his magical wand toward the dry erase board. The wand was an inventive decision when he realized that getting his kids to pay attention for extended periods of time was a challenge, but with a decorated stick and a sparkly star, he's able to at least direct their eyes to where they need to look. 

There's a thick fog of silence on this particular Thursday morning as Liam waits, wand still extended toward the letter etched onto the board in pink marker. He shifts his stare from table group to table group searching for any sort of shy recognition on any of their faces. He stares particularly long at Ed who in turn physically angles himself away from Liam, then he looks at Eleanor who seems far to interested in glaring at the back of Louis' head, and lastly, he looks hopefully to Harry.  _Ah,_ Liam grins brightly. "Harry?" he rests his free hand on his hip and watches as the curly haired boy starts to squirm a little under the attention. 

"B is for bat," Harry answers quietly before ducking his head and glancing toward Louis. The older boy crosses his arms across his chest and gives a little nod.

Liam might need to switch up the table groups for the sake of social development and the formation of independence. Then again, approval of friends is important at this age  _for_ social development and the kids need that to eventually become independent individuals. He lets out a little sigh, "Correct, Harry. Great job." Teaching shouldn't have moral issues involved, especially kindergarten. 

A small hand attached to none other than Louis lifts into the air, "Mister. Mister. Mister."

"Do you need to go to the restroom, Louis?" Liam lowers the wand and places it onto his desk, he'll have to continue with the letters later. "And it's Mr. Liam."

"No, I don't have to go to the restroom, _Mister,_ " Louis rolls his eyes. "When's Mister Zayn's class? He's gonna teach us about the keys today. Told me himself." 

All of the little head of his class perk up at the mention of the music teacher and Liam lets out a heavy breath. He watches a few seconds tick away on the clock at the back of the classroom before he straightens up and tugs at one corner of his bowtie, a pink and white polka dot one. It's for the kids. It is, really. He didn't pick it out because he liked it. "Keys?" Liam questions. He's learned to go along with Louis' curiousities rather than fight them because that's a roundabout way for Louis to waste anywhere from five minutes to a half hour or to receive snacks before schedule just so he'll close his mouth. 

Shifting around in his seat so that his little legs are crossed beneath himself, Louis tilts his head thoughtfully, "The black and white rectangles."

"You mean the piano," Liam clarifies, leaning on his desk. "He's teaching you about the piano?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's it!" Louis crows. "Mr. Z's gonna teach me to play it."

Eleanor grimaces from her seat behind Louis' table, her little arms crossed tightly across her dress. "You can't learn anything," she announces.

A little frown dips into Louis' bright smile when he rounds on Eleanor, standing quickly from his chair and placing his hands on his hips. "Mr. Z says I can do anything I want to do!" he sounds hurt. Liam needs to stop this. That's his job, right? Right. For the moral dilemma of something or other. 

"Eleanor, discipline chair," is all Liam says instead. He runs his fingers through his hair while he watches Eleanor grumble her way to the chair in the far corner of the room. 

When Louis turns back to the front of the classroom, he's still frowning with his thin eyebrows furrowed tightly. But, he's looking at Liam now, all wide blue eyes and unadulterated  _fear._ "I can, can't I, Mr. Liam?" he asks quietly. Uncertainty looks so wrong on the little one's face and it makes Liam's stomach turn.

"Course you can, Lou," Niall chimes brightly before Liam can say anything and just like that Louis' buzzing again, grinning wildly as he sits back in his seat. Maybe Liam was wrong about who out of the three needed the social approval. Interesting.

"Shut up, Niall," Louis fondly crows as he rests his chin on the table. 

Pushing himself off of the desk, Liam scratches at his chin and snatches the wand up. "Alright then, we have ten minutes before I take you down to Music class. So, for ten minutes we're going to learn!" Liam gestures to the other letters on the board. "If anyone can say the alphabet all the way through, then they can have a dig in the treasure chest. Anyone?"

Niall's hand shoots up into the air, his little fingers waving about wildly, "Me, me, me!"

"Alright, then. Niall, come up here and point at each one when you read it off, yeah?" Liam waits for the boy to stumble up to the board before handing him the wand. "Go ahead."

"These one's are A, B, C, D, F, E," Niall reads off the board, pointing to each letter in turn.

Liam frowns a little a the mix up but urges him on with a wave, "E, F."

"G, H, I, L, K, J, W... W," Niall begins to struggle and  _oh, oh, oh._

"That was great Niall! Great job. Fantastic, really. You were brilliant," Liam claps his hands together quickly. "Go ahead and take a dig. Everyone else, line up at the door! Time for Music class with Mr. Zayn!" eight minutes early isn't too early, is it?  _Probably_ , Liam rubs a hand over his face as the kids rush to the door and Niall retrieves a Reeses cup from the treasure chest before tripping his way to where Louis and Harry wait for him. Liam needs to probably call Niall's mum. Right? That's what he's supposed to do when he notices things like this, isn't it? He could be wrong though, too. The kids are  _just_ learning. "Fuck," he sighs. Why is he always sighing? This is a kindergarten class, not that difficult. Shouldn't be. Always seems to be. 

Louis giggles, "Mister said fuck."

 _Oh God, no._ "No, no, no!" Liam shakes his head furiously, exasperated. "Nope, that wasn't it. I said something about _ducks_ , you just didn't hear it. We don't say words like that. Naughty, naughty words," he ushers the hoards of children out of the room and down the hall before Louis can repeat the word again. He should really probably reconsider dousing himself in gasoline, or maybe something less dramatic. Gasoline smells horrid. 

The tinkling of piano keys floats out from the crack in the Music classroom's door and Louis drags his table buddies a little quicker across the tile flooring before Liam grabs the back of his hood to slow him down just a little. The sound is lovely, however, and Liam can almost imagine the graceful shift over ivory keys by slender fingers that have so comfortably been hooked around pale cigarettes. Liam's maybe stumbled upon Zayn with his head bent beneath the awning outside the school and watched one too many times to be considered anything other than stalking or blatantly creepy. He knocks reluctantly on the door, the music stops, and Liam opens the door. "Sorry, we're a bit early!" he ushers the kids in.

Zayn stands from the piano. He has a raspberry colored button up on, on this particular Thursday and it accents the little dips of his waist. "I didn't think..." Zayn starts as he makes his way through the little huddles of children to where Liam stands in the doorway. He still smells faintly like a cloud of smoke and he looks a little worried. "Eight minutes...?"

"I'm sorry, Zayn," Liam stuffs his hands into the pockets of his trousers. "The kids were just... Look, I've just got to make some important phone calls to a few parents. I could have made them eight minutes from now but there was just..."

For a small moment, Zayn merely lifts his eyebrows and waits for Liam to continue. "It's alright," he eventually says, tilting his head carefully. "Was just playing a bit, anyway. Is everything okay?" 

"Yeah, yeah everything's great. Just, um, a couple things," Liam glances over Zayn's shoulder to see Ed and Harry plucking at the strings of a miniature guitar, Louis looking on with crossed arms and a curious Niall by his side. "Eleanor's been doing this thing where she calls Louis stupid quite a bit, and I'm trying to deter that behavior. So, just look out for that. Also, I know there isn't very much reading involved in music, but I'm a little worried about Niall. If you notice anything..."

"There's reading in music," Zayn smiles a little and it's warm this time, not just tight lipped like the usual. He isn't looking at Liam though, just back at the kids. "It's different but there is reading. He probably just learns a little differently is all. Also, Louis' quite good in this class. Can't make fun of those who are better than you, yeah?" he's still smiling, motioning for the kids to get in a circle before looking back to Liam. His lips thin a little, closing around that fond smile of his. 

Liam watches over Zayn's shouler a little longer before nodding, "Yeah. I suppose you're right."

"I'll meet you for lunch?" Zayn continues, reaching for the door handle. He licks his lips at the end of the sentence.

"Hm?" Liam straightens up a bit, eyebrows lifting beneath his fringe. He really should have done his hair this morning. _Lunch?_

Gesturing back to the kids that are now sitting paitently in a circle on the carpet, Zayn tilts his head to the other side, "To hand them back off to you. I'll see you then, yeah?" He shuts the door with a little click and Liam's nose is only an inch from the wood. 

He's really becoming far too acquainted with that door instead of the man on the other side of it. Sighing, always sighing, Liam turns on his heel and heads back to his classroom. He spends his small break picking up around the classroom, making sure that every little piece of paper is either in the Recycle bin or in the trash, and staring down the dry erase board. He runs his fingers through his hair and erases all of the letters aside from E, F, I, L, M, and W. He tilts his head and traces the letters in darker colors. He'll have to ask Niall about them a few more times or maybe he'll look into different ways to teach kids like him. 

Five minutes prior to when he's supposed to make his way down to the cafeteria to meet Zayn with the kids, Liam's back to thinking about the sound of Zayn playing the piano so, so delicately. He rests his back against the board and closes his eyes for a moment. He'll have to ask Zayn what he was playing at some point or another when they're both passed the phase of shutting doors in Liam's face with tight lipped smiles. Then, he's back to thinking about the bright grin that was reserved for seemingly only the children, which okay, it's great to know that he likes kids as much as Liam does. That'll mean something eventually. Probably.

If.

If Zayn weren't probably involved with a lady friend. Which Zayn is probably involved with a lady friend. A lady friend that currently or at one point  _lived_ with Zayn and that says something doesn't it? About where Zayn stands in terms of relational situations, or something. 

Liam scratches the back of his neck and grabs his lunch from beneath his desk. Maybe Zayn will sit with the kids at lunch today and indirectly be having lunch with Liam. "Good plan. Perfectly good, premeditated, creepy plan. Fantastic," he groans as he leaves his classroom and heads down to the cafeteria. 

In the large room, Zayn's already seated at one of the three tables where his class is spread out and digging into their lunches. He's smiling widely with Louis rambling on about something that sounds mildly similar to the plot of Iron Man on his left, and on his right is Harry, Niall, Ed, Aidan, and the pair of twins -- Liam's still not clear on which one's which. "Is that right? I'm pretty sure that Tony does fall in love," Zayn tells Louis with his arms crossed on the top of the table. 

"Nuh uh!" Louis scowls, all pouted lip and narrowed eyes. "Mr. Stark's way too cool for  _girls_." 

Zayn laughs openly before his stare meets Liam's and he gestures for Louis to keep eating his sandwich. "Mr. Liam, I'll leave you to it," he nods and begins to get up. 

"No, no. Stay, the kids love you," Liam quickly urges before taking the empty chair between Ed and Aidan. "It would be nice to have two sets of eyes on them while they eat. Schinanigans and all that," he adds on hesitantly.

"Two sets of eyes sitting at the same table?" Zayn tilts his head but he's pulling out his sack lunch all the same and Liam will call that progress. 

Shrugging, Liam smiles across the table at him and glances toward the other three tables full of his kids. "You can look one way and I can look the other," Liam tells him before setting out his own lunch.

The thing is, when Liam starts eating, happily digging into his macaroni salad and ham sandwich, Zayn looks everywhere but at Liam. Zayn converses with every kid about every insignificant thing but never Liam. So, Liam does the same, eyes every child -- especially Louis -- like a criminal, has a conversation with Niall about pirates, also has a one-sided monologue with Harry about Zebras, and stuffs his face until he's -- until he's got Zayn laughing at him.

Zayn's laughing at him.  _Oh._ It sounds so much lovelier when it's directed at him.

"What?" Liam mumbles around a mouthful of pasta. 

However, Zayn just smiles and shrugs before moving his attention back to where Louis seems to be animatedly talking about the dynamics -- "Dinonometrics," Louis stumbles -- of Tony Starks suit. 

It's progress. Liam will count all of this as a win. He still knows nothing about Zayn, literally nothing. He's getting there though, taking the steps up from Stalkerish to Acquaintance. Liam will probably corner him in the teacher's lounge later.

Probably not. "Fuck," Liam swallows his mouthful.

"Fuck!" Louis bellows and points to Liam. "Mister said a naughty, naughty word!" 

"Ducks, Louis! Ducks! I was talking to Aidan here about ducklings," Liam looks to the little boy with the round hazel eyes hopefully but Aidan merely stares blankly at him.

Zayn's laughing again, ducking his head into the collar of his button up and this time his smile is bright, eyes glinting, and all at Liam. 

Before he realizes it, Liam's grinning back, cheeks flushing just a little under the flourescent lights as the kids giggle around them. He'll probably be on the receiving end of one too many angry parent phone calls tonight but for this, it's alright. Liam will deal with the trouble for a few more of Zayn's laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long! I've been without internet for a few weeks.
> 
> Catch up with updates and other things by following me on tumblr: thatkaitykid.tumblr.com ! 
> 
> Ask character questions, bother me about updating, say hello, and speak words of wisdom.
> 
> Or something.
> 
> LOVE YOU.


	4. A Planet a Day Brings a Zayn This Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M IMMENSELY SORRY! 
> 
> This chapter isn't long but I will be setting up a regular update schedule. I will be updating on every other Sunday, hopefully. 
> 
> Oh, dear. 
> 
> Follow me for updates: thatkaitykid.tumblr.com or more specifically thatkaitykid.tumblr.com/tagged/days-of-kinder

Easy as one, two, three. _EASY AS ONE, TWO, THREE?_ Liam’s learned that, that lovely lyric is a bunch of bull caca. He’s been working on his cursing as of late, as well, and that might probably be the only fudging thing that is progressing in his favor.

He’s probably being dramatic, as he always generally is, but _come on._ It’s been a full three days since the dreaded ABC incident, so one would probably assume that the worrying debacle of little Niall like the river would be dead and passed, like the weekend that was just too fudging short for Liam’s sanity. Yet, life has never been particularly kind to Liam and on this day, a Monday to overshadow all Monday’s, the dreaded ABC incident has taken the scenic route down into the deepest levels of hell.

“Niall, just once, can you try and tell me what the letters are?” It’s been a full seven minutes since Liam first attempted to get Niall to even _look_ in his general direction. So, Liam inhales a deep breath and tries to remember that kids can be stubborn and that this is okay.

He’s a teacher, he can handle this.

Probably.

He’ll do his best, or cry because why did he even think that he deserved his teacher’s certification? He does not, clearly.

“Mister,” Louis breathes out his boredom with a raised hand. “Can I just read it?”

“The bear, the bat, the baby,” Harry calls out alongside Louis.

The other children have long abandoned Liam’s lesson and are now coloring hopelessly on their desks with markers.

Liam’s at a loss and there’s not even an ever-ready-to-take-over Zayn to help him keep his head above water today. There’s gymnasium time but that’s not for another hour and Liam’s sure that he’s not the only one in the room that’s about to tear his hair out.

“For Mister Jesus’ sake, Niall,” Louis huffs and lets his forehead smack against the top of his desk.

But, through all of this, Niall seems pretty content to just continue lacing and unlacing his shoes. “Jesus, is a nice man,” he says after a long moment, looping one rabbit ear around the other.

“The bear, the bat, the baby!” Harry cries again, little tears brimming on the edges of his eyelashes. “I read it, Mr. Liam! Can I dig in the treasure chest for Niall, please?”

“Yes,” Liam finally sighs and pushes his damp fringe away from his face. When did he even start sweating?

Niall stops retying his shoes, the class turns tired eyes back to Liam, and Liam lets Harry takes his time in picking through the limited options of candy left in the treasure chest.

“Mister, can we go to Mr. Z’s now?” Louis asks when Harry returns to his seat, his face is still smashed into the lament desktop.

Pulling down the projector screen and flopping down into his chair, Liam lets out a heavy breath. “What day is it, Louis?” he replies and begins searching through his desk for a DVD that will properly consume the rest of class time before the kids need to report to the gymnasium.

“Today is Monday, Mister,” Louis recites with a small peek at the calendar hanging from the classroom door. His bangs are now sticking up with a little bit of static, it would be cute if he generally weren’t a little terror and if Liam didn’t find it to be against his morals to call anything defiant _cute._

“That’s right, Louis, and what day is Mr. Z’s class?” Liam sits back in his chair and quietly congratulates himself for locating a Magic School Bus DVD. It will keep the kids from ceremonially sacrificing him to the recess gods for a little while longer.

Louis merely groans loudly in response.

“That’s right again, Louis. You’re just on a roll today, aren’t you?” Liam pops in the DVD and rolls his shoulders to try and relieve some of the built up tension there. “Eleanor, turn off the front lights, please. Alright, kiddies, were going to watch a little video before G-Y-M. What’s that spell everyone?”

There’s silence around the room as Eleanor flips off the lights in the front of the classroom.

“Gym, that’s right, Aidan. Great job.”

Aidan perks up in the back of the room. His hair is matted up on one side where he had been napping on his desk. He blinks owlishly, “Mr. Liam, I didn’t…”

“Shh, shh. Aidan the movie is beginning,” Liam pinches the bridge of his nose and hits the play button before anyone else can speak up. Going to sleep as soon as he gets home, sounds like a fantastic idea at this point. _Can’t go to sleep yet, Liam. The children, Liam, they can’t read yet._ He massages his temples and Ms. Frizzle greets his class through the projector.

As the video plays on – something about the Solar System, Liam notes – he tries to draw up a plan to reengage his little students. Unfortunately for him, Ms. Frizzle doesn’t teach on anything that’s actually near the kindergarten level. He wishes she did because it seems that _his_ kids are more interested in what _she_ has to say. He rests his forehead against his desk and heaves a breath.

He closes his eyes and quietly counts the time that passes by.

 _One minute;_ one Niall like the river.

 _Two minutes;_ it takes two little boys, a Louis and a Harry, to make a leader.

He dozes off for a few minutes.

“MS. FRIZZLE LOOK OUT FOR PULLUTO!”

He checks the time.

 _Twenty minutes;_ nineteen doors slammed in his face by one lovely, lovely, lovely – he’s gotten sidetracked – lovely Zayn.

 _Twenty-one minutes;_ twenty-one cigarettes pinched between delicate fingers.

 _Twenty-two minutes;_ twenty-two times that Liam’s caught Zayn playing his piano with a small smile on his lips that’s just never been quite directed in Liam’s direction.

He’s sidetracked again.

So, he lifts his head and peers at his class.

The far side of his classroom is obediently doing what they have been asked to, their attention happily locked onto the projector screen.

On the right side of his room, Aidan’s asleep on his desktop, again, as the rest of his table quietly watches the film. Louis’ standing on his chair with his hands lifted to cover his mouth as he bounces on his heels and Harry is… braiding Niall’s hair?

A small grin overcomes Liam face as he redirects his stare to the film. When it sadly comes to an end, Liam stands and brushes the tiny bit of dust off his pants that probably did not accumulate in the time that he spent watching the film. “Who learned something from Ms. Frizzle and the Magic School Bus crew?” he asks, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Pluto isn’t a planet,” Ed answers without raising his hand.

“When this film was made, little Pluto was a planet,” Liam pinches the bridge of his nose again. “Who else learned something?”

Still standing on his chair, Louis tilts his head, “Mister, can I call Ed, Arnold?”

“No, Louis you may not,” Liam sighs. “Anyone else? Anyone at all?”

“My Very Exciting Magic carpet Just Sailed Under Nine Palace Elephants!” Niall declares triumphantly. He scrunches his little nose up at the end of the sentence, his freckles just barely visible in what little light shines through the room. “Mercury, Venus where the girls are from, Earth where I am King Niall of the river!” -- he roars -- “Mars, carpet…”

Liam might be buzzing, literally _buzzing._ “Oh, King Niall of the river, marvelous!” he takes out his sticker booklet before his students can even properly say anything else and smacks his biggest Batman sticker right on Niall’s forehead. It’s sticking to Niall’s bangs and eyebrows. _Should have gone for the hand, Liam._

It wasn’t the ABC’s but it was _something,_ and Niall is absolutely beaming.

“Now, everyone let’s head to the G-Y-M! What does that spell?” Grabbing his coffee mug that says _Brain Brew_ – his mum gave it to him when he got this job, Liam patiently walks toward the exit door.

“Gym!” Aidan pipes up as the rest of the class begins to form a squiggle of a line.

“That’s right, Aidan,” Liam grins and leads his kids down to the gymnasium where Coach Paul awaits them with a cheerful smile.

Once all of his little ones are accounted for, he disappears down to the Teacher’s Lounge. He hums happily as he fills his mug with some excuse for coffee and settles back into one of the lounge’s few scrappy chairs. “Niall knows something he doesn’t need to that he’s probably already forgotten,” he lets the steam from his coffee warm his cheeks. “Aidan can spell gymnasium, sort of. Fa-la-la-la that’s not a song.”

There’s a little laugh from somewhere to his left and did he even look at the rest of the room when he walked in? He squeezes his eyes shut tightly before he turns in the direction of the sound. Coffee splashes out onto his shirt.  

When Liam dares to open his eyes, Zayn is grinning widely at him, all white teeth and crinkles around his dark eyes. “Clever lyrics, did you write that yourself?” Zayn chuckles into the bowl he’s got cradled between his sleeve covered hands.

“Clever lyrics?” Liam laughs weakly. He can feel the warmth of a blush creeping up his neck and over his ears to his cheeks. “Psh, I don’t… Well, I’ve never actually written…” It would be nice if every once in a moon cycle his words were coherently placed.

However, Zayn is still laughing at him and Liam can’t really be that pressed to be embarrassed when that crinkly look is directed at him. He’ll have to add it to the list of cheerfully pleasant things that have occurred between himself and Zayn.

Liam’s still only on level two, _acquaintance,_ but he can feel that the ladder to Casual Teacher Buddies is just around the corner. Probably… not.

“Just messing,” Zayn lifts a spoonful of Cheerios to his mouth. “How has your day been so far? The kids, good? Louis told me he would try to listen,” he says around a mouthful of the honey coated O’s.

Maybe that ladder is right in front of Liam’s face. “The ladder has replaced the slamming doors,” Liam whispers in awe. _No more doors slamming on this man, nope._

“Sorry?” Zayn looks confused now and oh, oh, oh Liam just said that out loud, didn’t he?

“Ah! The kids have been great,” Liam coughs and takes a long sip of scalding coffee. He feels the liquid burn all the way down to his stomach but Zayn is smiling at him again and he takes another sip from his mug. “They’ve been listening really well and even Louis has been paying attention a little.”

The edges of Zayn’s bright smile soften fondly as he looks down at his cereal. “That’s great, Liam,” he says before pushing his spoon around the bowl. “Did Niall straighten out the alphabet?”

And there’s the damper on Liam’s sunshine. “Well, no, but I’ll figure out a way to help him eventually,” he frowns down at the brown stains that are beginning to form around the inner rim of his mug.

“Have you tried using like the cut out letters? Maybe have the class sort them out in groups?” Zayn looks thoughtful before he points his spoon excitedly in Liam’s direction. A little bit of the milk from Zayn’s bowl flecks out onto his pant leg. He doesn’t look at it and Liam doesn’t point it out – or what it looks like. “Oh, you should try sound association.”

“Sound association?” Liam glances between the splotch of milk on the other man’s trousers and Zayn’s excited expression.

Nodding his head, Zayn places his bowl and spoon aside. “Sound association, you know, like the phonics?” he crosses his tan arms over his chest and tucks one of his long legs beneath the other.  

Liam might be very, very distracted. _Phonics,_ he knows what those are. For fudge’s sake, he needs to refocus on Zayn’s face – like the cut of his jaw or the hazel glint of his eyes when he smiles, just so – or maybe he should look at the dirty tile. “Oh, right…”

“I could teach you some easy songs that demonstrate the phonics. I could bet you that Niall isn’t the only one in your class that learns differently,” Zayn looks a little hesitant now, nervous and unsure.

“Oh, I don’t want to take up what little break time you have during the school day…” Liam stumbles, little quakes forming in his coffee.

For a small moment, Zayn merely glances longingly at his cereal bowl like he wishes he hadn’t put it down yet. “You can stop by my flat after classes,” he says finally.

“Your flat?” Liam repeats reverently.

“Yeah,” the other man hums his assent and glances toward the black and white analog clock hanging just above the lounge microwave. “I’ll send you an email with my address and times that I can help you. I’ve got to get back to class, though, so I’ll see you later, right?”

He’s nodding his head quickly as Zayn collects his bowl and leaves the room. He’s still nodding when the door snicks shut behind his colleague and oh sweet Lord. Liam’s going to see Zayn after hours. Liam is going to see where Zayn lives, _sleeps_. Liam is going to see Zayn smoking in the comfort of his own home instead of with his head bent and his collar turned up to hide him from any prying eyes at the school. Liam is actually going to _see_ Zayn.  

Settling further into the depths of his chair, Liam inhales deeply. The time is gone and he needs to pick up his kids from the gymnasium. There’s a heavy smile on his lips though, and he can only count the seconds that pass right on by him.

 _One second;_ one lovely pianist with delicate fingers.

 _Two seconds;_ two lovely hazel eyes that crinkle when the pianist smiles too brightly.

 _Three seconds;_ three seconds too many since the lovely, lovely, lovely – Liam’s distracted again – lovely Zayn left the room.


	5. The Lying Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear lord. Look at me, I set up an update schedule and don't update for months. I am so absolutely sorry!!!

It's been a total of an hour since Zayn's email address appeared in Liam's inbox, and fifty minutes since he managed to open the message to view Zayn's private, home address. It took him a solid ten minutes to convince himself to actually view the message. He hasn't actually replied yet, either. So, all in all, Liam's afternoon is going swimmingly. 

On the plus side, the kids have been dismissed to go home. 

"Can't blame the kids for your own cowardice, Liam," he sighs and drops his head onto his keyboard. There's a loud error sound that screeches from his screen due to holding the keys down too long at the same time but he doesn't lift his face, just lets the keys dig into his cheek. He's feeling rather pathetic. 

"You'll screw up your board settings like that," a familiar voice says from behind him and it sounds as if the man is laughing at him  _again._

Liam shoots up in his roller chair and sucks in a breath, "Zayn."

"I saw your car was still in the lot," Zayn begins. There's a slight grin to his lips and small crinkles beside his eyes. "You hadn't emailed me back either, so I thought that I would just come and make sure that you got it."

There's a blush creeping up on Liam's next and he fumbles with his shirt collar to try to keep it from climbing to where Zayn might actually see it. "You know what I drive?" and that's really not what Liam wanted to say.

A small laugh falls from Zayn's lips as he sits back on one of the desks, his arms crossed lazily across his chest. "This is a primary school, it's not like it's hard to figure out which car is who's," he tilts his head. "Paul drives the black truck with the dent in the fender, Ms. Teasdale drives the grey mini van, and Principal Cowell drives the old blue Lincoln that is still, some how, in pristine condition. You're not very observant, are you?" Zayn might be teasing. 

Liam might be needing to vomit his feelings. "Well, no. I only pay attention when some one takes my parking spot," he shuffles around in his seat a searches for his keys. They're not where he normally puts them, and he's pretty sure that a certain Louis is to blame for that.

"Your spot?" Zayn grins a little wider.

“My spot,” Liam says again. He sounds petulant; he’s nervous.

For a moment, Zayn seems to consider this declaration. He rubs his knuckles along the stubble that lines his jaw as he seems to ponder. “The parking space by the south entrance? The one right in front of the ‘Staff Only’ sign?” he asks after a moment.

“That’s the one,” Liam nods.

Taking his hand away from his face, Zayn points at Liam, “I’m gonna park my bike there.”

Liam sputters a bit, “Oh, come on.”

“You said it was yours, now I just kind of _have_ to take it,” Zayn lifts his eyebrows and crosses his arms back over his chest. He nods to himself as if to say _yeah, yeah I do._

“That’s just being cruel,” Liam pouts as he finally locates his keys. There’s a stickiness lining the key ring, no doubt remnants of the day’s early snacks.

Zayn shrugs his shoulders and stands from the desk, “Should have responded to my email. I wouldn’t have to be cruel, then.”

That’s just mean. Zayn has to know what he does to people, what his face does to Liam. “I’m sorry,” Liam whines.

“I’m kidding,” Zayn laughs brightly. “So, when do you want to meet? We can get drinks or something first, if you want.”

“Drinks? Uh, yeah, drinks… Sound great,” Liam stammers. That sounds like a date, but it’s not. Liam knows it’s not. Probably. He’s a mature adult that can go out for casual and completely, utterly platonic drinks with his educator compatriot. Right.

A soft smile graces Zayn’s lips as he nods his head, “Good. I’ll meet you down at Grimm’s in an hour?”

 _Grimm’s._ Liam knows the place. It’s a shady little bar and grille on sixth street that serves the lower grade of the city, housed between a shut down tailor and a glassworks store. Probably not the place that Liam would have chosen, but maybe it’s closer to Zayn’s? “Sure.”

“I’ll see you, then,” Zayn offers a small wave before he disappears out the door and leaves Liam in his wake.

There’s a few moments where Liam merely stands there because Zayn’s only given him an _hour._ One measly little hour to figure out what in the fudge he’s going to wear. Which he has to calculate in the drive time to his home and then to the bar. And… Liam runs to his car. He nearly shuts the car door on his foot, and manages to run over two of the cones outlining the pickup line as he leaves the car park. By the time he arrives back at his home, he’s narrowly avoided receiving a traffic ticket and almost running down an elderly woman.

By the time he finds the proper outfit that he’s going to wear, a red and black plaid long sleeve shirt with a white v-neck underneath and a pair of black trousers, he’s absolutely panting. He fusses over his hair in the small span of time that he catches his reflection in the windowpane by his front door before he’s tripping back out to his car.

The distance from his home to the bar leaves him running ten minutes late and Liam wants to vomit on himself as well as everything within a meter radius. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Liam mumbles as he traipses inside Grimm’s, blatantly ignoring the smell of smoke bleeding from the open door of the glassworks store next door.

“…you’ve got to be bloody kidding!” comes a loud voice from the behind the bar counter. The man’s got this floppy brown quiff that falls over his forehead and a blinding smile despite his surprised tone. “She said _that_ to _you_?”

The ‘you’ just happens to be Zayn if the familiar black leather jacket he’s wearing is any indication. “Yeah, she did,” Zayn says with a stiff nod of his head as Liam steps closer and takes a seat on the barstool beside him.

“What a bitch,” the bartender grimaces before glancing in Liam’s direction. “And, what can I get you, sweet cheeks?”

“Ah, Liam!” Zayn grins widely. “Was beginning to think you were going to ditch me.”

Liam fumbles a little, looking down and feeling flustered. “I’ll, uh, take a cherry vodka sour, thank you,” he fiddles with his fingers before chancing a look at Zayn’s face. “I live on the other side of town and I thought it might look a little bit prattish if I came in slacks and a button down,” he laughs nervously.

The bartender slinks off to make his drink and Zayn just keeps smiling at him, “I like what you wear at school. It’s very… dapper.”

“Dapper?” Liam snorts a laugh. “Thanks, I think. Well, what now? Is this better?”

Zayn takes a long moment to look him up and down, “Well…”

“Cherry sour,” the bartender chirps as he slams the rocks glass down in front of Liam. “You choose prissy friends, Zaynie.”

“Hey,” Zayn turns away from Liam, the conversation officially dropped. “Don’t diss my mates. You’re just as prissy, if not _more_. Liam this is Nick.”

Rolling his hazel eyes, Nick waves a dismissive hand at Zayn, “You can call me Grimm.”

“Nice to meet you,” Liam offers his hand to shake but someone down the bar shouts for Grimm and soon enough the bartender is gone.

Zayn lifts his beer and takes a long sip, leaving a little bit of carbonation shining on his upper lip when he sets the glass down again. “So, I thought of a few things for you to do.”

Liam stares at it before choking back some of his cherry sour. “Sorry?”

“The phonetic songs, remember? Didn’t forget already, did you?” Zayn grins again, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“No…! Of course not,” Liam looks down at his drink quickly. “What are your, uh, ideas?”

With a smaller smile and another swallow of beer, Zayn swivels a little on his barstool, “You know what? Let’s not start with that. I want to play a game.”

“A game?” Liam asks. He’s following the whirl of Zayn’s face as he twists from side to side and there’s a dizzy feeling settling behind Liam’s eyes.

“A game,” Zayn nods his head decisively. “A question game.”

Liam nods along with him and finishes off his mixed drink, clinking the glass against the bar top as he sets it down. “Okay, sure.” Zayn’s giving him the opportunity to ask about him and that’s… Liam swallows thickly and tries to sort through the questions he wants to ask, the ones he finds important whilst still being noninvasive. It shouldn’t be as difficult as it is.

“Grimmy, vodka shots!” Zayn shouts across the bar before looking back at Liam. “This is how it will go: I ask a question, you answer and vice versa. If either of us catches the other lying, that person takes a shot. Simple, yeah? I just think I should get to know you a little better before I let a stranger into my home.”

 _Stranger_ , so there’s still that. “Okay, you first, then,” Liam nods again to the sound of Grimm setting down a few small glasses filled to the brim with clear liquid.

Zayn taps at his lips with his index finger before pointing at Liam, “Where are you from?”

“Wolverhampton,” Liam answers easily. “Have any siblings?”

“Three sisters,” Zayn twists one of the shot glasses around on the bar top. “Worst habit?”

For a small moment, Liam pauses and furrows his eyebrows as he tries to think. He does a lot of things: he only sleeps on one side of the bed, he looks at animal adoption websites at least every other day in an attempt to convince himself to get a dog, and he tends to call his family at the same time generally on a daily basis.

Zayn’s staring at him now, patiently drumming his fingers on the counter.

A flush spreads across Liam’s cheeks, “I give myself awful pep talks every morning.” That wasn’t what he meant to say. Nope. Not at all.

“Brilliant, I believe you,” Zayn laughs brightly, lifting a hand to cover his mouth.

“Uh, what is, uh… Shit, no,” Liam twists the hem of his shirt between his fingertips. “Who’s your girlfriend?”

Zayn stops spinning the shot glass momentarily but he doesn’t look at Liam, “I don’t have one.”

“Liar?” Liam accuses hesitantly.

“He’s not,” Grimm says in passing as he moves to the opposite end of the bar.

Lifting his eyebrows as if to say _see?_ Zayn smiles, “Was it you that eavesdropped on me on the first day of school?”

Liam bites his lip, “No. Of course not.”

Zayn pushes the shot glass across to Liam, “Drink.”

There’s a new flush of crimson spreading over Liam’s cheeks but he nods weakly and swallows down the shot anyway. “Since you know that I heard,” Liam coughs. “Who’s Perrie?”

“Ex-wife,” Zayn answers before downing the dregs of his beer. His stare meets Liam’s evenly, challengingly.

 _Ex- wife. No longer wife. Married? Previously married. Oh shit._ Liam promptly keeps his mouth shut.

“Top three kinks,” Zayn bounces back immediately.

Liam chokes on his spit a little, “Excuse me?”

“Kinks,” Zayn says again, slower this time like Liam may truly not understand.

“Uh, um…” Liam fumbles looking to the shot glasses. Maybe, just maybe, he could cop out of this.

Zayn shakes his head, grinning a little more, “No way out.”

“Biting,” Liam starts weakly, and scratches at the back of his neck. “Edging…”

With a snicker, Grimm pours Zayn another pint.

There’s a heat rising high into Liam’s cheeks.

“And?” Zayn presses entirely unfazed.

“Rimming…” Liam finishes. He feels like his insides are now splayed out before everyone in the bar although, he’s pretty certain that only Grimm and Zayn heard him.

Nodding his head, Zayn takes a long sip of his beer. “Your turn, rimmer.”

The blush on Liam’s entire body is probably permanent. “Any kids?”

“Aw, don’t go easy on me now, Liam,” Zayn takes another sip, but shrugs anyway. “I have a two year old son named Faris. Giving or receiving the rimming?” he continues not missing a beat.

This now feels inappropriate. “You’re going to ask me about rimming after telling me about your son,” Liam flounders a little.

“I thought we were playing a game, Liam,” Zayn smiles. “It’s just a question.”

“Receiving,” Liam ducks his head. He’s going to die right here in this bar.

Zayn laughs a little, “I bet the ladies love you.”

The bar suddenly feels a little heavier, the air a little thicker as it curls in Liam’s lungs. He keeps his mouth closed and his lips pressed into a thin line.

After a beat, Zayn continues on, “Let’s get a cab to mine, yeah? I think I’ve asked enough questions. Grimmy, could you phone a cab for me?”

The bartenders footsteps pad away and Zayn’s hand rests on Liam’s shoulder, “I think we’ll be good friends, Mr. Payne from Wolverhampton.”

Liam lifts his head to find Zayn still openly smiling at him. “Yeah, sure…” 


	6. All Things A to Zayn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well look at that, here's an update! Thank you all for reading and for commenting and kudoing and all that good stuff. You guys are brilliant :)
> 
> Follow me on tumblr for updates: thatkaitykid.tumblr.com

Zayn’s flat is definitely what Liam imagined it to be, probably a little better actually. It’s quaint with only a small bedroom off to the left, a kitchenette, and a small living room. For the most part it looks newly furnished with boxes still stacked haphazardly around the place and lining the empty spaces. There’s a little nagging voice settling into Liam’s haze that is begging him to ask _when_ exactly this ex-wife became an ex.

“Sorry for the mess,” Zayn begins as he shrugs out of his coat and dumps it onto his couch. He wanders off to the kitchenette to rifle in the fridge. “I hate moving, can never find the energy to actually get to unpacking. I’ve, uh, got beer, want one?”

“Sure…” Liam scratches at the stubble lining his jaw and doesn’t quite manage to move from his spot. There’s a certain amount of tension buzzing about and Liam’s really not sure what to do with himself. “And, I, um, I’m great at organizing. I could help you unpack some time if you need the help,” he leaves out the part where he has way too much free time on his hands.

Clinking two bottles together, Zayn returns to the living room and gets comfortable on his couch. “You really don’t have to do that. I wasn’t fishing for help,” he laughs as he pops the aluminum tops off the bottles. He gestures vaguely to the open seating places and hands Liam his beer.

“I really don’t… I wouldn’t mind,” Liam takes a small sip of his beer as he sits in the armchair across from Zayn.

“Yeah?” Zayn smiles a little with a glance at the boxes around himself. “Well, when I get tired of digging through blankets to find my underwear,” Liam chokes on his next swig of beer, “I’ll take you up on that offer. So, for now, I’ll put that one in the bank.”

Liam stumbles a little, “Um, the phonics song.” _Great segue, Liam, brilliant._

For a moment, Zayn looks lost. He squints a little at his beer then at Liam’s face. “Oh!” he finally exclaims. “Right, right. Let me grab my guitar. Do you play? You know, it’s easy I can teach you,” he pushes up from the couch and disappears into the bedroom after he sets down his beer.

 _Come on, Liam, don’t think…_ And the thoughts are there. He thinks about Zayn sitting close, about the way he’ll get to smell that lovely, lovely cologne, and about that stupidly lovely smile being just inches from his face. _Lovely_ , he swallows down a long gulp of his beer, _why is that the only thing you can think of right now?_

“The songs really simple,” Zayn chimes as he emerges from the bedroom. He reclaims his seat on the couch. “I played the song once for the kids, I think. Oh! Also, I was thinking that maybe you could incorporate the cut out letters that I mentioned earlier. You could have the kids hold up the letters when you say them… I don’t know it might help,” Zayn shrugs a little as he cradles the instrument in his lap.

Liam nods along quickly, his eyebrows lifted a little at the idea because he hadn’t even thought of that. _How are you so brilliant?_

“So, this is how it goes,” Zayn’s smile is a little unsure now as he begins to strum on the guitar strings. “Letter sounds A to Z, letter sounds help us read… Let’s all sing together now and say the letters and their sounds,” he looks everywhere but at Liam as he plays.

“A says ah-ah-apple. B says buh-buh-ball. C says cuh-cuh-cat…” and Zayn stops playing. He takes a long sip of his beer and sets the guitar aside. “I think you know the ABC’s, right?”

Liam laughs a little, “Fortunately, I did pay attention in that class.”

A grin curls Zayn’s lips, “Great. Good to know our educators are educated.” He downs the rest of his beer, “I’ll write down the words and stuff for you, but do you know how to play? It’s just a few chords.”

So, the thing is, Liam could either do the right thing and admit that he has played the guitar since he was six or he could be a little bit selfish for the first time in his life. “Maybe if you could just help me get the chords in order…” he feels guilty as soon as Zayn beckons him over to the couch.

“Just put your hands here,” Zayn instructs as he carefully moves Liam’s hands to where he wants them to be. “This is where you start,” he reaches around Liam’s shoulders to hold his fingers down on the correct strings, “then, you move here.”

The thing is, Liam _is_ paying attention, but he’s also really paying attention to the delicate mixture of smoke, cologne, and alcohol that Zayn is breathing down his neck. “Uh huh…” Liam hums as Zayn leans back on the couch.

“So, it’s just first position, second, first, third, and then, first, second, third,” Zayn fetches another beer from the fridge before standing in front of Liam. “Now, go.”

Liam fumbles a little, “I still don’t really…”

“Liar,” Zayn grins and Liam pales. “Come on, Liam, I’m not stupid. You put your fingers on the chords before I even tried to. I see what you’re trying to do.”

Swallowing hard, Liam lifts his stare to meet Zayn’s, “You do?”

“Of course, you know I’m not going to feel bad if I’m not the only teacher that can play an instrument. Plus, I can play probably about seven different instruments. Trust me, you’re not going to harm my ego if you play the guitar,” Zayn laughs as he flops back onto the couch and crosses one leg over the other.

The tension drains from Liam’s shoulders, “Oh, well, I just… You know…”

“Just play,” Zayn rolls his eyes.

“Right, right…” Liam stammers as he carefully strums on the instrument.

Zayn nods along as he plucks at the strings, his fingers tapping on the glass of his beer.

“So, um, seven instruments?” Liam coughs once he’s finished running through the chords.

“Mm, let’s see. I can play the guitar, piano, drums, cello, violin, saxophone, harmonica, flute, and I’ve dabbled in the xylophone,” Zayn beams a little before he takes a long drink.

Counting on the tips of his fingers, he really does teach children, Liam frowns, “That’s eight.”

“Well, I haven’t mastered the xylophone. It’s just something I try with Faris,” Zayn gestures with his hand toward a box with children’s toys poking out of the top. “He’s into the chiming sounds right now but I really think that he’ll be a piano prodigy.”

A small smile creeps up on Liam’s face as he watches the fondness on Zayn’s. “If you can play so many instruments then, why teach?”

“You know, when I was younger, I really wanted to be a concert pianist. My mum loved it and my dad was so proud about it. I would play at family weddings and during school plays, was even in the Junior London Orchestra for a while,” he shrugs a little. “Then, my little sister came along and seeing her so excited about learning to play… I don’t know, I just fell in love with that, getting to share that happiness with someone else…”

“I can see why the kids love you,” Liam sets the guitar on the open end of the couch and crosses his legs beneath him. “I have to shove cookies in Louis’ mouth just to get him to stop asking about when he gets to go to ‘Mr. Z’s’ class.”

The fond look on Zayn’s face spreads as he pushes his fringe away from his face, “That kid is going to be brilliant some day.”

“You think?” Liam asks as he leans back into the cushions.

“Definitely,” Zayn nods decisively. “There’s a lot of talent in that class. Louis is just the beginning. I mean he’s destructive but put that kid in front of a piano and I have never seen someone focus that much. Then, there’s Ed and he’s got this beautiful soprano voice, just absolutely brilliant.”

There’s sweetness to Zayn’s tone and Liam might be falling over himself for him but Zayn is definitely fully committed to people under the age of seven. Liam pauses with his beer half way to his mouth. He probably shouldn’t consider his infatuation and Zayn’s attentiveness to be of the same type of thing.

“You know, I really appreciate…” Liam begins.

Zayn’s phone rings then, and he answers with a reluctant look, “Uh, hey.” He’s quiet as the other person speaks and a furrow settles between Zayn’s eyebrows. “I thought that you were going to… Oh… I’ll be right… If you just shut up for a second, I’ll be there,” he hangs up the phone by stuffing it deep into the cushions of the couch.

“Everything alright?” Liam hesitates.

Taking a deep breath, Zayn pushes up from the couch and picks up his jacket, “Just a family thing. Sorry to kick you out but…”

“No, no… I totally get it,” Liam stands. He absently grabs their discarded bottles and drops them in the kitchen bin.

Zayn phones a cab and Liam follows him down quietly, tries not to notice the tense ridge to Zayn’s shoulders. They might be friends now but definitely not close enough for Liam to pry. This whole ladder thing is becoming a staircase of death.

They take a cab back to the pub and Zayn waves Liam out with a wave of a cigarette and a soft goodbye before the cab takes him toward whoever phoned him.

So Liam is left in the fading light of day in the wrong part of town with the lingering buzz of beer and vodka still thrumming through his veins. He sits in his car and rests his head against his steering wheel. Eventually, he turns on his car and lets the radio fill the silence so that he doesn’t think too hard about business that isn’t his own.

When he’s finally sobered up enough, Liam slowly makes his way home. He spends the rest of his evening nursing a thermos of hot chocolate and his laptop cradled on his lap. He downloads several pages of letters and spends two too many hours cutting them out and coloring them before he realizes that he could have just gone to the store and purchased them before wasting his time and his expensive paper. After that, he spends another hour gluing Popsicle sticks to the back of each letter.

By the time that he finally crawls into his bed, there’s a new email flashing across his screen.

**To:** _Liam Payne ([lpayne@gmail.com](mailto:lpayne@gmail.com))_

**From:** _Zayn Malik ([zmalik@gmail.com](mailto:zmalik@gmail.com))_

**Subject:** _Sorry_

_Liam,_

_So sorry for kicking you out early. Faris was “sick” and I had to go pick him up from his mum. Anyway, I attached the lyrics for that song. If you have any questions, feel free to ring me or something were just chilling. Have a good night._

_Zayn_

There’s a phone number listed at the bottom and not only is there one attachment but there’s two. Liam clicks through hesitantly. The first is the aforementioned lyric sheet and the second is…

“Aw…” Liam coos. The second attachment is a photograph of Zayn with a little boy that’s got bright blue eyes and a head of hair much like Zayn’s. The two are sitting on the couch where Liam was earlier that day and they’re both sticking their tongues out at the camera. It looks like they’re in their pajamas and Liam has never seen something so adorable in his life.

He turns on his alarm and tugs his blanket up to his chin. If he falls asleep with a smile on his face well, then a certain music teacher is definitely to blame.

Morning comes with torrential rain. Liam wakes up to his alarm and a crack of thunder so loud that he almost flinches his way onto the floor. He gets ready to the tune of _Let’s Hear It For the Boy_ and finishes off his Tuesday look with a black waterproof North Face Jacket. On the way out the door, Liam grabs a granola bar and a thermos of tea.

The drive to school is slow and when he walks inside he has to tuck his backpack underneath his coat so that the rain doesn’t soak through and ruin all of his hard work. Zayn’s not outside on this particular morning but Liam couldn’t blame him. Awning or not, that rain is blowing sideways. However, there is a certain little boy perched outside Liam’s doorway as other children wander the halls awaiting their teachers.

“Good morrow, Louis,” Liam greets as he unlocks his classroom door and flips on the lights.

Louis frowns at him, there’s mud on his cheeks and coating the bottoms of his pants. “Mr. Liam, I don’t wanna be here,” he grumbles.

“I know, no one likes school,” Liam sighs with a small glance at him. “Did you walk here this morning?”

“No,” is all Louis replies with as he hangs his backpack neatly on his hook and heads toward his desk.

Lifting an eyebrow, Liam shrugs a little and begins writing their daily schedule on the board. “You have Mr. Zayn’s class today, are you excited?” he tries.

“I’m too stupid for music,” Louis huffs as he drops his head into his arms that are folded on top of the desk.

Liam finishes off the word he’s writing and turns, “You’re not stupid, Louis. Mr. Zayn told me yesterday that you’re really good at playing the white and black rectangles.”

“Piano,” Louis corrects but he doesn’t laugh like Liam might have hoped and something is wrong here.

“Louis, who…” Liam begins.

Before he can continue, the twins are traipsing in with little Ed in tow. Liam should really learn which on is which but today will not be that day because they are definitely wearing the same outfit.

“Superman, want to help me pass out some papers? I could really use your help,” Liam tries again as the twins and Ed take their seats.

Louis doesn’t even move, his little shoulders slumped sadly in his coat as he lays over his desk.

Liam frowns with a small sigh before he turns back to the board and finishes writing their schedule. Once he’s finished he passes out the little cut out letters so that each desk has a full set of them. By the time he’s done, most of his kids are seated and little Harry is wandering into the room with the hood of his little froggy raincoat still pulled over his curls.

“Lou!” Harry exclaims brightly as he runs over to the small desk grouping, his shoes squeak as he goes.

Louis lifts his head a little and the gleaming smile on Harry’s face dampens. “Max pushed me in the mud,” Louis mumbles so quietly that Liam almost misses it. There are tears smearing the dirt on his cheeks and Liam doesn’t know what to do here.

Harry’s little face scrunches as he reaches out with the rain drenched sleeve of his coat to wipe at the dirt. He raises his other hand so quickly that Liam startles a little on his way back to his roller chair.

“Yes, Harry?” Liam calls quickly.

“Max pushed Louis in the mud!” Harry tattles and _oh_ so this is the kind of occasion that he will speak to Liam for.

So, Liam makes his way back toward the group and places his hands firmly on his hips, “Max?” As soon as he approaches, Louis ducks his head back into the folds of his arms, trapping Harry’s extended hand with him.

“He’s ugly and big!” Harry grimaces and gestures the height with his free hand.

“It’s not nice to call people ugly, Harry, and that doesn’t help me know who he is,” Liam starts.

Huffing, Harry waves his hand at Louis, “Pushing people in the mud _is not nice_.”

And _okay,_ this is quickly getting a little out of hand. “Harry,” Liam tries again, trying to keep the tone of his voice level. “Do you know what grade he’s in?”

“Stupid grade,” Harry frowns deeper, his little nose scrunched up.

Liam sighs, “Okay, Harry. I will try to find big and ugly Max in stupid grade. That was very helpful of you. Are you okay, Louis?”

“Superman died today,” Louis replies simply and his words are a little wobbly.

“Superman never dies,” Harry hurries to say. “He’s invin… invintable.”

Louis perks up a little at that and smiles over the sleeve of his coat, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Harry affirms with a nod of his head as he continues to wipe the dirt off Louis’ face.

“Well, I will see if I can find out who Max is and do something about that during lunch, okay?” Liam pulls the hood off Harry’s head and walks back to the front of the classroom. It seems that Niall is absent today so Liam tries to think of another activity that he can use the letters for while he explains the day’s schedule to the kids.

Everything runs smoothly for awhile, he holds up objects around the room and asks the children to identify what letter each object starts with. Louis’ mood brightens as the morning progresses and Eleanor even seems to take note, only calling Louis one name before Liam walks them down to the music room.

Zayn welcomes the kids with a grandiose gesture and he even gives Liam a warm pat on the arm as he ushers him out of the room.

“You’ve got the cutest son,” Liam tells him quietly as Zayn begins to close the door.

“See you at lunch time, Liam,” Zayn grins and waves him away before closing the door.

So, Liam spends his break sending emails to the other teachers about a mean spirited boy named Max and trying to contact Niall’s mum about his absence. He’s only half successful in his efforts, finding that Max is a third grader and that neither of Niall’s parents are particularly inclined to answer the phone. At least he has the Max situation the slightest bit handled and for now, well that will have to do.

 _One thing at a time,_ Liam supposes.


	7. I Won't Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY PLEASE LOVE ME STILL!

Wednesday comes with more rain pouring down on the city and flooding the streets with puddles. The weather is beginning to seriously put a damper on Liam’s attempts to be upbeat and apparently the children have taken notice of this as well. Their remedy of course, to Liam’s prompt dismay, is to be as rambunctious as physically possible and to throw another boulder on his already heavy shoulders, Niall is _still_ absent with out any sort of formal excuse.

“Louis,” Liam presses his palm to his forehead and sighs witheringly. “If you just read the list of numbers off the board for me, I will let you take _two_ things from the treasure chest.”

“Two is this many,” Louis grins and bounces in his chair as he holds up three fingers.

At his side, Harry giggles.

“No, that’s three and that’s not even what I asked you,” Liam feels a lot like banging his head into the wall until he’s deemed unfit to teach or simply function.

“That’s three, stupid!” Eleanor screams from where she’s sat in the discipline chair. There’s a marker in her hand and there’s definitely a picture of a cat or something on the wall that Liam is going to have to paint over in the near future.

Rolling his eyes, Louis points a finger in her direction, “No one asked you, Smelleanor!”

Liam really shouldn’t need more than one discipline chair, but he thinks he should probably purchase another for the sake of his fading sanity. “Louis, that isn’t nice…” he tries with a pitiful wave of his pointer wand.

“Mr. Liam, Kara drew on my face!” Ed screeches and flaps his hands about to get Liam’s attention.

“I’m Katelyn and I didn’t do it! Mr. Liam!” one of the twins yells as she tries to push Ed’s hands down.

 _It’s raining,_ Liam thinks as he slumps back against the white board, _it’s raining, gym time has been cancelled, and you’re going to die here._

“Mr. Liam! I need to go to the potty!” Aiden whines. “Really, really bad!”

“Louis, go to the bathroom with Aiden,” Liam instructs around an exhale of breath.

With a groan, Louis kicks Niall’s empty chair over onto its side, “I don’t wanna.”

“Louis pees himself!” Eleanor shouts.

_Oh. My. God._

“Louis Tomlinson, get up and go with Aiden to the bathroom!” Liam raises his voice just a little and _oh,_ yep he just snapped his wand in half. _Brilliant work, Liam._

Silence settles around the classroom for the first time in hours and after a moment, Louis stands from his chair and quietly extends his hand to Aiden. “Potty?” he says.

“Potty,” Aiden affirms with a nervous glance at Liam.

On the way out the door, Louis remembers to grab the bathroom pass and makes a quick exit.

“Now,” Liam feels a bit embarrassed by himself. “Eleanor, you’re getting another frowny face on your folder. Katelyn, draw on your paper not your neighbor. Who can tell me what the numbers are on the board?”

The lingering silence refuses to lift and Liam drops his broken wand into the trash bin. “Alright,” he releases a long-suffering sigh and rubs a hand over his face. “Just… Let’s watch a film, yeah?” After a moment of the children simply staring with wide eyes or avoiding looking at him completely, Liam nods to himself and turns on a random episode of _The Magic School Bus_ that’s about friction and gravity that the children most likely will not understand. _Oh well,_ Liam thinks.

He needs a break. He needs coffee or vodka. He needs a lot of things.

Long after Louis and Aiden reappear, the wall phone begins to ring wildly, flashing PRINCIPAL brightly in the dark of the classroom until Liam quietly takes it off the hook. “Hello?” he whispers so that the children will not be distracted from his effectively educational distraction.

“Liam,” Principal Cowell greets. His voice is tired and a little annoyed sounding if Liam bothers to pay attention long enough. However, the principal always sounds like that so there’s no way for Liam to actually gauge whether he should be worried about his current occupational position or not. “I received a troubling telephone call this afternoon.”

For a moment, Liam waits, quietly expecting him to continue. “I assume it was concerning my classroom,” he baits when the principal fails to continue.

“Clearly,” Simon goes on. “It was from the mother of one of your students, Niall Horan.”

Liam sucks in a breath and glances at the empty seat beside Louis and Harry that’s currently being occupied by the boy’s coats and backpacks. “What was the call about?”

“His absences,” Simon lets out a small sigh and Liam pulls at the hem of his shirt. “We may have a slight legal problem.”

“Legal problem?” Liam scrunches the hem of his shirt into his fist.

There’s a long space of silence where the principal is quiet and Liam doesn’t know what to do with himself. “The issue involves a social worker.”

“A social worker,” Liam repeats and really, it would be nice if Simon wouldn’t drag this conversation on like he was trying to build suspense for a game show.

“Right,” Simon affirms. “However, as it pertains to us and more specifically _you,_ your student will be absent for a few more days.”

 _Social worker. Absent._ Liam swallows, “What happened?”

“There was an issue with his father,” Simon begins with a small sigh. “Regardless, the details are irrelevant to you. When your student returns, you are to act with discretion and not make any comments about it unless you notice something that is important or concerning. Do you understand, Mr. Payne?”

“Of… Of course,” Liam stammers and there are way too many probable ideas as to what actually occurred slamming through his head at this particular moment. There are all the dots, the moments where Mr. Horan showed up an hour and a half after pick up to mumble an _oops_ and pull an unhappy Niall away by the forearm, or the moments when Niall was a little to sensitive about situations that would otherwise be entirely harmless. He’s overthinking the entire situation, he has to be, right?

There’s a shuffling against the receiver and Mr. Cowell may be changing hands on the phone, “Good. If you have any information that may be relevant, please contact me. Thank you, goodbye Liam.”

The line clicks off before Liam can really process the information any further and _god_ he really needs to know what’s really going on. Is there anything to know though? Does Mr. Cowell actually know the full gravity of the situation? Is there a full gravity to know? _Fudge._

“Mr. Liam,” Harry quietly calls after a moment. The film has ended and when exactly did that happen?

“Yes, Harry?” Liam sits up a little straighter in his chair and inhales slowly. He’s a teacher, a professional; he doesn’t have time to ponder the things that are not absolutes. Then again, there are no absolutes, are there?

Fiddling with his curls a little, Harry shifts in his seat, “Wand?”

 _Wand?_ Liam glances at the trash bin where he tossed his normally so affective wand that he broke only an hour earlier. “I’ll have to make a new one,” he acknowledges. “What did you want it for?”

“Nine, thirteen, seventeen, seven,” Harry reads the board quietly and points at each one with a dainty finger from his seat.

Louis claps brightly at his side and there’s a wild smile lifting his cheeks, squinting his blue eyes.

“G…Great work,” Liam stammers and _right,_ the _numbers._ That was what he was working on before Wednesday fell into a pit of rain, despair, and _oh yeah,_ _where the hell is that one kid?_

“Dig?” Harry looks from Liam to the treasure chest with wide green eyes.

With a poorly concealed cough, Louis adds, “Double dig. You said double dig, Mister.” He shifts in his seat and crosses his little legs beneath himself before resting his chin on his up turned palms.

“That was if _you_ did it, Louis,” Liam sighs but waves Harry on toward the increasingly decrepit box of sweets.

When Harry takes three candies, Liam almost reprimands him but then Harry gave one to Louis and stashed the other two in the cubby underneath Niall’s desk. As someone with a heart and a lot of curiosity, Liam can’t really be mad.

Thursday follows a similar pattern to that of Wednesday except there’s the wonderful bonus of illness.

The dangerous trend starts with a simple sniffle. The sound is innocent enough at first, and it wouldn’t be alarming if it were only coming from _one_ student. However, life’s never really that kind and Liam’s poor immune system is in deep, wallowing danger because almost one student from every group is sneezing, snuffling, and sniffling.

It might just be alright, the terrible trifecta, if it weren’t for the fact that kindergartners don’t quite know how to disinfect their hands, wipe their noses, and not spread germs like they’re trying to play tag with them.

Liam’s going to die here, _he is_. There’s also, this itch in his throat and a scratch to his voice. There’s the possibility that he’s already dead. There’s more of the possibility that he’s a hypochondriac with a terrifying desire to throw himself into the line of fire. _Why Liam, why did you of all people choose to be an educator? You idiot._

An hour before lunch, Ms. Teasdale fetches the class for an assembly about fire safety and stranger danger. So, Liam drags his feet to the teacher’s lounge and curls up on one of the shabby couches until he feels like it might properly swallow him whole. He closes his eyes to the sound of liquid dripping through the coffee machine only a meter from him. For a few minutes, the quiet is nice. He doesn’t have to think, he hardly has to breathe, and he simply gets to relax. _A small nap would be justified after all,_ Liam thinks tiredly.

“You okay there, Liam?” Zayn’s voice breaks through the edges of sleep and Liam really wants to hate him, but every fiber of his being is either resisting or too absorbed with some sort of plague to try.

Lifting his head, Liam merely heaves a sigh that is ultimately childish and pathetic, but _hey_ , he teaches _children_.

“You don’t look too well,” Zayn admits as he takes a seat on the couch beside Liam.

“Don’t say that, I’ll think I have cancer,” Liam whines as he buries his face into his hands.

A laugh reaches Liam’s ears and he wants to recurl up into the couch until the whole world disappears. “You just look a bit warm is all,” Zayn leans forward just as Liam looks up again. He presses his forehead against Liam’s and waits for a small moment before pulling away.

Liam doesn’t move; he doesn’t even breathe.

“Small fever,” Zayn smiles warmly and leans back into his side of the couch. “Nothing to worry about. One of the kiddo’s probably sneezed on something of yours earlier in the week. All you need to do is survive the rest of today and schedule a substitute for tomorrow before you leave.”

It takes him another two minutes, but eventually Liam nods his acknowledgement and Zayn might be pitying him enough to not mention it. “They’re all little monsters,” Liam quietly relays the information like it’s the biggest secret he’s ever discovered.

Crinkling his eyes, Zayn chuckles airily, “They are, aren’t they?”

“Every single one of them,” Liam nods and ducks his head back into his hands. He needs sleep. He needs a cup of tea. He needs a proper cuddle. He needs Zayn to not do the thing he’s doing. He always needs a lot of things.

“Look,” Zayn continues easily as he stands from the couch and busies himself with making a cup of tea. “You take a nap and I’ll take the kiddo’s to lunch when the assembly is over. How does that sound?” he doesn’t turn around for Liam’s response until the tea is finished. He presses a ceramic mug into Liam’s hands and there’s a sharpie drawing of something that might be a stack of bricks or it might be a piano.

For a moment, Liam wonders if the art is a product of Faris’. “Are you sure? You don’t have to…” he quickly replies as he blows gently over the top of his tea. He also wants to know _why_ Zayn is acting like this. Maybe sloppy drinks and feigned guitar lessons are a better ladder to friendship than he previously thought.

“Don’t worry about it,” Zayn assures with a smile as he fetches a sack lunch from the fridge and disappears from the lounge.

Liam falls asleep to the sound of Zayn’s shoes hitting the tile floor just out in the hall.

Before he leaves for the day, a painful four hours later, he has the lovely receptionist book him a substitute for the following day. When he finally reaches his flat, he collapses face first on his bed and blinks hard into the sheets until the orchestra of laughing and complaining children fades into the depths of sleep.

It takes the sun blaring menacingly through his open blinds the next morning to finally rouse Liam from his peaceful sleep and _oh,_ does he miss the rain now. If it were raining, he wouldn’t have woken up. If it were raining, it wouldn't feel like a child is trying to forcibly crawl its way out of his lungs like Liam were the big bad wolf and he had just eaten that child and… and Liam’s thinking too hard about hyperbolic similes to be entirely healthy. Plus, nothing about him is healthy right now. He might be being dramatic. He needs Zayn to tell him the truth.

Groaning loudly into the cotton of his sheets, Liam forces himself to turn onto his side so that he can maneuver his way possibly off the bed and to the kitchen for a glass of water. But, it’s just _so far._ He groans again once he’s managed to get himself halfway onto the floor, his legs are still up on the bed, but hey he’s trying. Give him a break, he’s probably got cancer.

Or, most likely the flu.

“Fudge me,” Liam whines into the carpet. His phone vibrates somewhere on the floor near his face and he’s not quite sure how it got there. He also, does take note now that he didn’t even bother to change out of the clothes he was wearing the day before. He’s even still wearing his raincoat. He needs someone to come take care of him.

Reaching out an aching limb, Liam latches onto his phone and brings it in the general direction of his face. “Hullo?” he waits a moment before repeating himself. “Hullo? This is Liam?”

After a long beat of silence, he pulls the phone away from his face and peers at the screen. There’s an email notification and… no call. “Come on, _Liam_ ,” he grumbles hoarsely to himself.

It takes him a long while to get passed the fact that not only is he slithering on the floor like a snake but he’s also pretended that he was getting a phone call. He’s probably dying. Right. Only that would explain his utter and complete lack of competence. Eventually though, he does unlock his phone and proceed to actually check the email that some spawn of satan deemed necessary to send him on his deathbed.

 **To:** _Liam Payne ([lpayne@gmail.com](mailto:lpayne@gmail.com))_

 **From:** _Zayn Malik ([zmalik@gmail.com](mailto:zmalik@gmail.com))_

 **Subject:** _It’s Friday_

_Liam,_

_Sorry you’re out sick. If it makes you feel better, the sub they picked is really whipping the kids into shape. I walked passed your classroom and I could have sworn I heard Louis say yes ma’am. Anyway, I’ll be leaving the school in about a half hour. If you need anything just send me a text. I would be happy to pick you up some soup or cough syrup, if you need it._

_Zayn_

_(020) 897 2460_

_PS: You don’t have cancer._

With a pathetic huff, Liam adds Zayn’s number to his phone and goes to send him a text message. He stares through bleary eyes at the keyboard before hitting the dictation icon, “You don’t know that I don’t have cancer.” He doesn’t check whether or not the phone correctly copied his mumbles into actual words before he presses send and pulls the rest of his body onto the floor. He’s a heap of sick limbs in dirty clothes, he is.

It only takes a moment for a text to flash across the screen.

 _‘I’ll get you some chicken noodle soup and you can tell me about how you’re going to lose your great hair when I get there. Alright? Sit tight,’_ it reads.

Liam blinks hard at the words and tries not to think too much about them, but he does and in the end all he has echoing around his head is _it’s not domestic, he’s just being friendly, he’s got an ex-wife and a kid, and well you know Liam, it’s a little important that he’s not into you._ He has his phone dictate his address and slithers his way to the closet.

He strips out of his clothes while lying on his back before tugging on a new pair of boxers and some long sleeved t-shirt that someone sent him for his birthday. The whole process takes him fifteen minutes and then it’s another five to army crawl (drag) his body into the kitchen. After a moment of lying sadly with his cheek to the cold tile, his phone vibrates loudly with another text.

 _‘Ducked out a few minutes early. I’m picking up soup now. Still alive?’_ Zayn asks.

Liam drops the phone on the tile and shoves it under the cabinets weakly. “I’m dying. You’ll see…” he mumbles tiredly and closes his eyes.

If he dozes off to the sound of the refrigerator humming, well he’s dying so who can blame him. He dreams of hazel eyes and of careful fingers…

“Liam?” a voice comes through the haze and Liam hates it, hates every bit of it. He’s sleeping, _why won’t anyone let him sleep?_ “Liam, that’s not funny. Get up.”

The toe of a shoe nudges at Liam’s ribs and he groans helplessly before opening his eyes.

Zayn is squatted down beside him with a grocery bag resting on the ground between his knees and his eyebrows are lifted. “You’re not dying, mate,” he reminds. “You know, like seventy-five percent of being sick is all in the head. Think positive. You’ll feel better faster.”

“Bull shit,” Liam grumbles to the plastic bag and blinks harshly at Zayn.

A surprised laugh fills the air as Zayn rocks back onto his heels to stand up with the bag in hand. “Well, I promise you, Mr. Payne. You will survive this. Come on, now,” to help Liam up he bends at the waist, that lovely and slim waist… It’s delicate, really, truly. Liam’s feverish, he’ll think what he wants.

It takes a few moments but eventually Zayn does manage to get Liam safely to the couch. “Just relax,” he pulls a blanket up to Liam’s shoulders before he disappears back to the kitchen.

So, Liam does what he’s told and keeps half lidded eyes open to stay awake, just in case Zayn needs to know where the pots are. No questions come though, and Liam settles deeper into the couch cushions and buries his face in the blanket.

He doesn’t hear any pots moving in the kitchen, doesn’t hear the tap flowing into the pit of the sink, but he does hear something else.

“Don’t look around cause love is blind, and darling right now, I can’t see you… I feel it proud so without a doubt, I can feel you…” Zayn is humming softly as Liam’s eyes close heavily. “Cause we are who we are when no one’s watching… And right from the start, you know I got you…”

The words chase Liam’s thoughts until he falls asleep deep in the warmth of his couch.

_I won’t mind. You know I know you, you’ll never be mine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr for updates at thatkaitykid.tumblr.com if you forgive me and still love me and I'm really, really sorry.
> 
> I'm trying to put together a playlist for this, so if you have any ideas please comment below or message me about it on tumblr :)


	8. Saying Sorry

There’s a dream like haze that clouds the gentle air around him, brushes his skin with careful puffs and relaxes his muscles as he dozes. It’s possibly the most peaceful sleep he has ever slipped into despite the ache that lingers in his joints and the fever that flushes his cheeks. Floating through the dark behind his eyelids is the pitter of running feet, an echo of voices that are so familiar yet so, so far away.

“ _Liam,”_  one of the voices calls to the titter of piano keys playing a tune that has only been perfected with the most gentle of hands. “ _Liam, wake up for me,_ ” the voice calls through the haze again, a little more insistently this time.

It takes another moment for the lull of sounds to fall into silence and Liam opens his eyes tiredly.

Perched on the edge of the coffee table is a softly smiling Zayn with a bowl of soup clasped between his hands. The fading light of day is drifting in through the windows on either side of him and casting a golden glow around his relaxed figure.

“You’re staring,” Zayn informs him quietly with a little bit of a quirk to the corner of his mouth.

However, Liam merely blinks at him. His limbs feel heavier now, and despite being awake, the haze lacing his skin still hasn’t lifted. “What time’s it...?” he feels the words drip from his tongue like syrup.

“Half past seven,” Zayn replies. “You fell asleep after I got here, but I wanted to make sure that you had something to eat before I left.”

“You’re leaving…?” Liam snuffles into the edge of his blanket.

The expression on Zayn’s face softens before he speaks, “I have to go pick up my little man soon. I’m sorry.” He gestures with the bowl in his grasp, “There’s enough soup in the fridge for you to last you all weekend, and I even set out the cough syrup on the counter. You’ll be just fine.”

“You’re a beautiful angel,” Liam mumbles hoarsely and really, he should feel embarrassed at his own candor. The admittance doesn’t quite register through the haze around him however, and feeling embarrassed would require some sort of emotional functionality, which Liam doesn’t quite have currently.

An airy chuckle escapes Zayn as he sets down the bowl and reaches out to place a hand on Liam’s forehead, “You need to take your medicine, okay? Sit up for me.”

Groaning weakly, Liam shuffles up to an upright slumped position.

“There you are,” Zayn smiles again and retrieves the cough syrup from the kitchen. “For cold and flu, you see? Not cancer.”

“I suppose I’ll forgive you since you’re not a real doctor…” Liam begins to say just as Zayn spoons a large quantity of the bitter liquid into his open mouth. For a moment, he merely sputters and gags because  _grape flavor? Really? You’re a dad aren’t you, Zayn? You have to know that tastes like utter shit._

Eventually, Liam stops and Zayn presses the bowl into his hands. “Eat up, alright?” he instructs as he pushes up from the coffee table. “Call me if you need anything,” he waits until Liam shovels the first spoonful of soup into his mouth then he grabs his cardigan and heads for the door.

“Zayn?” Liam calls quietly just as Zayn starts to wave goodbye.

Zayn hums with a tilt of his head, “What’s up?”

There are a lot of things that Liam wants to say, to ask before Zayn disappears but only one thing manages to form, “Thank you.”

“Oh,” Zayn pauses with his hand on the door handle and a smile lifts his lips gently. “Any time. I’ll see you on Monday, yeah? Take your medication,” he ducks out with a small wave of his keys and closes the door without a sound.

So, for the next hour, Liam slurps at his soup that he feverishly pretends is homemade and watches old episodes of some American comedy on Hulu. Eventually, the heavy helping of flu medicine Zayn shoved down his throat pulls him deep into the depths of a dreamless oblivion with his face pressed so far into the couch cushions that the seams leave indents in his skin.

The remaining days of his weekend are spent either on the couch or buried in his bed with his blood soaked in enough flu medicine to knock out a buffalo and as much soup as he can handle warming his stomach.

On Monday morning, Liam drags himself all the way to school with a thermos full of the few remaining milliliters of soup and a disposable mug of instant tea. Surprisingly, his usual first arrival is not present in front of his door. He wonders idly if Louis has finally caught the flu too.

Despite this oddity, Liam proceeds as normally as he possibly can. His fever broke the previous morning but he still swallowed down a cupful of medicine this morning just to be safe.

It may have been a bad idea.

The posters on his walls have turned into Technicolor rainbows and he’s relatively certain that the stuffed lion in the corner of his classroom is trying to speak to him. It’ll wear off eventually, soon probably.  _Hopefully._

As the time ticks closer to the beginning of school, the students begin to trickle in. Also, as Liam suspected, Louis is absent but he isn’t the only one. Two of his other kids have also been taken down by this autumn’s contagion. However, to his surprise, one certain Niall like the river is sitting quietly in his seat across from a lost looking Harry who keeps glancing toward the door.

“Buenos diaz, clase,” Liam greets as animatedly as he can, and is he speaking Spanish?  _Oops._  The lion is still talking, so he can’t really help himself. He’s trying.

The children turn to peer curiously at him.

For a small moment, Liam is quiet, merely staring down at his newly returned student, Niall. There’s a fading bruise smudged around his right eye and a cast covering his thin left arm as well as the majority of his small hand. He swallows thickly and tries to stop the plausible thoughts from forming. However, the medicine coursing through his veins is thick enough to reduce his will to such a small force that the thoughts are at the forefront of his brain.

 _Maybe he just fell,_ Liam tries to reason but there’s the echoing thought of  _don’t be stupid._

“Mr. Liam?” Niall’s voice quietly reaches through the haze and Liam startles.

“Oh…! Yes, Niall like the river, what is it? What can I do for you?” he rubs at the back of his neck and tries to adjust properly to being a teacher again instead of a comatose sick man. “Everything alright? What’s up my man?” he may be heavily overcompensating.

Furrowing his little eyebrows together, Niall scratches at the top of his cast, “Are you okay, Mr. Liam?”

Liam wants to sputter out how absolutely ridiculous that is. Niall asking him if he’s okay? Really? Little Niall like the river could be in actual danger and he’s… he’s… “I’m getting over a minor cold, but yes, I’m okay. Thank you for asking, Niall. I see that you have some new equipment,” he gestures vaguely to Niall’s cast. “Would you like everyone to sign it?”

“I wanna wait to do that ‘til Louis gets back,” Niall declares with a little look at Harry.

The little curly haired boy is still staring longingly toward the door way and hardly even acknowledges that his long lost friend has finally returned.

Nodding, Liam turns back to his desk. He pauses and adrenaline seeps through his drug-induced cloud of bliss. He forgot to put together his lesson plan for this week. He should panic; he is going to panic. He can feel the beginning buzz of anxiety streaming in his veins and causing his lungs to forget their function.

“Mr. Liam!” Niall waves his casted arm in the air.

Startling hard, Liam knocks the coffee mug on his desk over onto its side. Days old coffee spills over onto his gradebook and puddles around his phone.  _Fudge, fizzle, fu… Fuck,_ Liam gives up. He turns slowly on his heel and pulls the best smile that he can onto his face, it twitches a little and he inhales sharply. “Yes, Niall?”

“I… I know the letters,” Niall widely smiles until his blue eyes wrinkle a little.

The ensuing panic Liam felt only moments before over his things being ruined and his lessons not being planned slowly fizzles into silence. “You do? Well, show me the way, oh Niall like the river,” he gleams before proceeding to quickly write the letters in order on the board.

Niall pushes up from his chair and teeters over to the board. He glances at the little shelf where the markers are held before looking up at Liam.

“What’s wrong?” Liam glances at the shelf curiously.

“Wanderella?” Niall asks.

 _Wanderella?_  Liam pauses.  _Oh, right. I broke that._ “Wanderella is having some work done. Just point for now,” he smiles.

A furrow settles between Niall’s eyebrows and  _right,_ he doesn’t know what that means. “Okay,” he turns back to the board. “A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H…” he begins to recite.

Listening intently, Liam watches the look on Niall’s face instead of the letters he points at. He listens to the momentary pause in between each letter and the way his blue eyes will shift back to the beginning before continuing onto the next letter.  _Is he counting?_

“X, Y, Z!” Niall turns to Liam and beams at him.

“G…Great job, oh Niall like the river!” Liam startles into a bow and waves Niall toward the treasure chest that he needs so desperately to refill. He watches as Niall retrieves a packet of skittles and returns to his desk. He tries to look proud as the little one retreats to his desk. So, someone taught him a way to memorize the letters instead of actually what the letters are. A sigh escapes him as he once again looks at the rest of his class.

For the first time since the beginning of the year, each of his students are actually looking at him. They’re actually paying attention and… Liam has absolutely nothing to teach them.  _Literally nothing. Great work Liam._ He sucks in a breath and looks about the room for a distraction. Puzzle mat… he could read them a story.  _Nah._ Arts and crafts station…  _Too messy._ In the far corner of the room is a cardboard box and  _oh._ The books he ordered have finally shown up.  _Brilliant._

“Today, my little dumpling flowers,” Liam begins as he cheerily walks over to the box and pulls the flaps open.

“Dumpling… flowers…?” Aiden repeats with a scrunched up face.

Liam pulls out a handful of books and turns to face the students, “That’s right, Aiden the great!” Waving one of the books about, he starts placing one on every desk. “We’re going to talk about learning to read these great miniature novels.”

There’s a rumble of boredom from the students and Harry raises his hand. There’s a pouty look on his face and he looks a little distressed.

“Yes, Harry?” Liam lowers the last book onto his desk and tries not to sigh.

“W…Where’s Lou-Lou?” Harry glances at the door then back at Liam.

So, Liam’s greatest distraction is absent and he still happens to somehow be a distraction. “I don’t know, Harry.”

“Maybe he’s with his daddy,” Niall answers brightly with a poke to Harry’s pale cheek. “My daddy took me on a trip, I bet Louis’ taking a trip with his daddy, too!”

 _What? A trip? That’s where you were?_ Liam squints in thought and scratches at his scruff. A cast and a black eye from a trip? Now, he’s just more confused.

“You think so…?” Harry looks to Niall with wide eyes.

“Uh huh!” Niall bounces in his chair delightedly. “I bet they’re going to see the ponies in Derbyshire! They were so cool! And… And so fast! They were like the Flash!”

A smile lights up on Harry’s face.

“Alright, well back to the books…” Liam scrubs a hand through his hair and glances at the clock on the wall. “Never mind, looks like it’s time to go to gym.”

Eleanor brightens up and runs toward the door. Her enthusiasm only causes Harry’s smile to dwindle to a dull frown.

“Lou likes gym. I don’t wanna play without Lou. Mr. Liam!” Harry cries.

Liam’s going to die here. He is. “Come on. Line up at the door with your desk buddies and let’s head down to the gym.”

With an encouraging smile, Niall grabs Harry’s hand and pulls him toward the door, “It’s okay, Hazza! We will have fun!”

“I. Don’t. Wanna,” Harry yanks his hand away from Niall’s grip and crosses his arms.

Another withering sigh builds in Liam’s lungs as he leads them down the hall. The medicine he took previously has begun to wear off and the misery he felt all weekend is settling back into his veins.

Paul greets them just outside the double doors and offers Liam a pat on the back as he ushers the kids inside. “Look proper depressed, mate,” he grins pityingly.

“Not at all,” Liam lets out a breath and tries to put on a smile.

“Enjoy your break,” Paul claps his shoulder once more before disappearing into the gymnasium.

A pounding begins to rumble behind his eyes as he turns on his heel and heads toward the teacher’s lounge.

“Rough day, princess?” Zayn calls as Liam opens the door. He’s perched cheerily on the couch facing the television where a rerun of  _X Factor_  plays on a low volume.

Warmth curls in Liam’s lungs.

_You know, I know you’ll never be mine._

“Princess?” Liam stammers.

A burst of laughter fills the air and Zayn grins brightly, “Yes,  _princess._ ”

“You’re cheerful today,” Liam acknowledges as he fumbles with the coffee maker.

“Just happy to see you’re living,” Zayn shovels a spoonful of what looks like lasagna into his mouth. “I tried to text you this morning but I never heard back.”

 _He texted me?_ Liam pauses before groaning miserably. “I ruined my phone with coffee from last week.  _Old coffee ruined my phone,_ ” he rubs a hand over his face and abandons the coffee maker before wilting onto the couch beside Zayn.

“Oh, really?” Zayn’s smile drops and a frown replaces it. “I’m sorry, mate.”

“I’ll have to get a new one…” Liam tilts his head back against the cushions and exhales pathetically.

With a sympathetic nod, Zayn rests a hand on Liam’s shoulder, “Are the kids being kind today at least?” He pushes up from the couch and attends to the coffeemaker that was abandoned only moments before.

“Well, the great Niall like the river has returned finally,” Liam presses the heels of his palms against his eyes and inhales weakly.

“Oh?” Zayn urges as he busies himself with pouring a generous amount of grounds into a coffee filter. “Cowell told me he would probably be back pretty soon. Seems like a don’t-ask-any-questions kind of situation.”

Nodding, Liam lets his hands drop back onto his lap. “Right. I didn’t even ask anything about it. I did hear him tell Harry that he went on a trip with his dad,” he lifts his shoulders before slumping slightly. “Some how that ended, while being presented cheerfully, with a cast and a bruise. So,” he shrugs again. He doesn’t like not knowing things. Or, having his students absent. He likes his kiddos. Somewhere in his aching brain he’ll probably eventually admit that he sort of even misses Louis.

“Well, accidents do happen,” Zayn reasons mildly as he presses a warm mug of coffee into Liam’s hands and reclaims his cushioned seat.

“They do,” Liam nods and motions gratefully with the mug. “The circumstances are just so…” he waves a hand about and sighs.

A small frown creases Zayn’s lips and he leans back against the couch, “Well, you don’t know the whole story so why assume things? You’ll only wear yourself out.”

Zayn’s right, Liam knows that but  _still._  He can’t help the way he is. He was born this way. Blame his mum. “Yeah, I know,” Liam sips at his coffee and tries to ignore the growing suspicions lingering in his thoughts. “Okay, but what about the social worker?”

“Well,” Zayn inhales softly and runs his fingers through his hair. “I’ve taken Faris out for a weekend to see my mum and had my ex-wife call social services on me. It can mean everything or it can mean nothing at all. You don’t know the facts, Liam. Don’t get involved.”

There’s something about the way Zayn speaks this time, an air of reservation that unsettles the air in Liam’s lungs but he nods his agreement anyway. He wants to ask, to pry a little further for the information that Zayn never seems to want to give but he refrains. “You’re right,” Liam eventually sighs.

“Always,” Zayn’s lips quirk into a smile as he pushes up from the couch and wanders toward the door. “I’ll see you later, princess,” and he’s gone almost as quickly as he appeared.

In a tired haze, Liam drifts through the rest of his day. He tries to laugh when Niall tells a rather convincing story about his trip, tries to feel sympathy when Harry waddles around like a lost puppy looking for Louis, tries to ignore the lull of Zayn’s voice every time it traipses through his thoughts like Godzilla. He mostly fails on all accounts.

When he finally gets to go home, he tosses his bag onto the nearest armchair, swallows down another cupful of cough syrup, and he pulls out his laptop. He doesn’t mean to do what he does but it’s just the way he is. He’s worried and maybe he’s nosy…

_Don’t get involved._

He scrubs a hand through his hair and types Niall’s father’s name into the Google search bar. So, he isn’t necessarily like Nev from _Catfish_. He doesn’t really have the slightest clue as to what he’s doing or how he’s going to do it. With an exerted effort, he passes by the facebook links and settles on a website with a name that he hasn’t heard of but well, he’s lacking in options.

The link pulls up a list of men with the name of Niall’s father. Feeling a little hopeful, he searches through the list of people until he finds one that appears to live nearby. He frowns a little when he clicks the link.

_You don’t know the facts, Liam._

A new list appears on the screen with previous addresses and people that have been associated with him. Towards the bottom is an option to search for arrest records and credit histories.

_Don’t get involved. Don’t get involved. Don’t get involved._

He’s just being a concerned teacher. That’s all. Zayn would want him to do the same thing if it was his child in Liam’s class. Surely.

Also, Liam’s a man of little resistance.

He clicks the link for arrest records and sighs deeply when the page that pops up is one for payment. “This could be a great investment,” he reasons with the air around him. “Or, I’m delusional.”

When he pulls his credit card from his wallet, he decides that the truth is that it _could_ be a good investment, and he’s very much delusional. He types in his information and submits the payment before a new page appears with a detailed arrest record and a mug shot of Niall’s father.

 _Domestic Violence, verdict pending,_ is listed several times with varying dates but there isn’t any other information.

 _The charges could be old,_ Liam sighs. He doesn’t know whether or not the site he’s using is even credible. _Still, this could be true which would mean…_

“Fuck,” Liam exhales heavily and scrubs a hand over his face. He promptly cancels his subscription to the website and shoves his laptop beneath his bed. He should have listened to Zayn and minded his business. Yet, here he is. Here he is and he’s opened a pandora’s box of shit that he shouldn’t have touched because the situation is being handled as far as he’s concerned.

With an excessive amount of hesitation, Liam pulls out his phone and calls Zayn. As the rings continue, his anxiety grows and fills his lungs.

“Hello?” Zayn answers on the last ring. There’s music blaring in the background and the tone of high-pitched laughter.

 “Zayn, I did a bad thing,” Liam rushes to say.

It takes a moment but eventually the noise becomes dull with the closing of a door. “What did you do?” Zayn asks cautiously.

“I got involved,” Liam blurts. “W—Well, not really but I looked up information on Niall’s dad and it…”

“Liam, I’m going to stop you right there,” Zayn cuts him off. “I told you not to get involved.”

Nodding even though Zayn can’t see him, Liam tries to find a reasonable excuse, “I was concerned! I have good reason to be now!”

“Liam,” Zayn says more sternly now. “Look, I can’t do this right now. Just,” he takes a hard breath, “don’t do anything else. Whatever it is that you know, you can’t do anything with that information.”

 _You can’t do anything_. Liam frowns at himself, “But, Zayn…”

“Stop it, Liam,” Zayn interjects again. “I’ve got to go.”

“Right, um… Sorry, Zayn,” Liam tries but the line clicks off a moment before he finishes.

 _Good work, Liam,_ he tosses his phone onto the other side of the couch and rests his head back against the cushions. _You’ve gone and pissed off Zayn._

For the rest of the day, Liam stares at his ceiling and wishes that for once he would use his brain instead of going on the whims of his slightly neurotic heart. He contemplates how to apologize to Zayn and if he should apologize at all, his brain says not really but his neurotic heart says _of course, you dumb tit._

That night, Liam doesn’t sleep much. Instead, he merely continues to stare at the ceiling with his bed supporting his back rather than the couch. He tries to think of what he’s going to do with his class tomorrow, and wonders if Louis will return. He would very much like a distraction, one that will loudly take his attention when he knows that tomorrow will probably be another day where he takes ninety steps backwards on the ladder of Zayn before falling off it when Zayn slams a door in his face. He should consider being friends with the door instead because it’s certainly been more friendly and understanding to him than Zayn.

Then, he ends up thinking of Zayn’s fingers, of cigarettes, and of beautiful piano playing that could only be done by Zayn. “Fuck,” he iterates to the ceiling like it just might tell him what to do with his life. It doesn’t and he covers his eyes pathetically.

Until the sunrises, Liam focuses on reminding himself to mind his own business and that he needs to say fudge when he’s in distress because not only is it more appropriate in front of his kids but it’s probably more charming to yell when he stubs his toes in public than fuck. When he thinks about it more as he comes to the conclusion while he showers to wake himself up that it’s not charming but more likely to make him _look_ like a kindergartner. _Hopeless, Liam,_ he sighs. _Absolutely hopeless._

Dressing himself, he tugs on a lilac sweater over a white button up and a pair of dark jeans. He looks nice but all he feels is regret and a pathetic need to find Zayn so that he can see just how irritated the man is with him. After he makes himself a thermos of tea, he grabs his keys and heads out the door. Instead of playing his usual music to pump himself up for the day, he just drives in silence, lets himself suffer through his own thoughts.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, Liam can’t decide, Zayn isn’t outside when he arrives but a certain little blue-eyed monster is.

“King Louis!” Liam beams cheerily. “You’ve returned.”

When Louis looks up, his blue eyes are a little tired and his nose is tipped red. He’s wearing a grey t-shirt that reads _Napping is for Quitters_ in red and blue letters. “Mister!” he coughs and _oh._

 _Brilliant,_ Liam keeps smiling anyway. “Don’t happen to have a fever, do you?” he asks as he unlocks the door to his classroom.

“Nuh uh,” Louis shakes his head causing his brown hair to flop about before he pushes past Liam to run into the room. “Did ya miss me, Mister?” he smiles brightly despite the fact that it looks like he is still very much under the weather.

“I did,” Liam smiles as he sets his thermos and bag down on his desk. He begins to redistribute the books from the previous day, “Guess what we did while you were gone?”

Pausing to seemingly try and figure out what it was, Louis whips his head around to look at the classroom, “How would I know?”

“We started talking about these books!” Liam exclaims as enthusiastically as his muddled self can.

Almost immediately, Louis’ smile dampens down, “Oh.”

“What? You don’t like books?” Liam asks curiously.

“No,” Louis pouts and crosses his arms over his chest after climbing onto his desktop to seat himself down.

 _Well, well, well,_ Liam lifts an eyebrow, “Why’s that?”

“Stan’s not here so I can’t read with him,” Louis announces and pushes all the books on his little desk group onto the floor with his foot.

“I’m sure Harry and Niall would like you to read with them,” Liam reasons as he picks up the books.

A look of consideration comes over Louis’ face but he shakes his head in the end.

“Don’t you want to help them learn? That’s certainly the job of a hero in my book,” Liam looks away from Louis and shrugs. “I guess I’ll have to do it myself when they need help.”

“Heroes don’t read books,” Louis rolls his eyes.

 _So that doesn’t work with everything,_ Liam sighs, “No, but they do help anyone who needs it…”

“Lou-Lou!” Harry comes tripping into the room before Liam can finish. His dark curls are winded and his cheeks bright with exertion as he nearly topples over. “Louis! Louis! Louis!” he crawls up onto one of the chairs and almost tackles Louis in a hug.

“Harry!” Louis giggles.

A small smile overcomes Liam’s face and he feels a little bit more at ease than he did when he first arrived at the school.

“Niall said you were adventuring!” Harry is grinning but his wide green eyes are wide and teary. “Why’d you do that?”

“Was not,” Louis huffs as Harry lets go. “Was sick! I got to watch Power Rangers all day!”

Gasping, Harry crosses his little legs beneath him, “Niall lied!”

“How was he supposed to know,” Louis rolls his eyes again as a few more of Liam’s kids begin to trickle into the room.

“Cause you don’t say nothing if you don’t know nothing,” Harry replies assuredly like he’s heard the phrase many times before and it’s the most truthful thing he knows.

Laughing a little, Liam greets the rest of his students, “Good morning, everyone! Everybody excited for today?”

Aiden levels Liam with a look and despite the amusing giraffe wearing bowties on his shirt, he does not appear amused. At that moment, Niall bursts into the room cheerfully.

“Niall, you’re a liar!” Harry exclaims through narrowed eyes and a pouted lip.

“What?” Niall stops short of their desk group. He’s got a couple of markers in his tiny grip as he looks between Harry and Louis in confusion.

Turning in concern, Liam watches the scene unfold.

“You lied!” Harry crosses his arms firmly. “You said Louis was on an adventure!”

For a moment, Niall doesn’t say anything but his brow furrows beneath his dark bangs and his eyes begin to well up with…

 _Oh, no,_ Liam quickly steps toward the three boys. “Hey, now,” he starts.

“I didn’t lie!” Niall cries. “I didn’t lie, Mr. Liam! Harry said I lied!”

“Harry,” Liam pulls a tissue out of the box on his desk and dabs at Niall’s freckled cheeks. “That wasn’t very nice and it isn’t true either.”

Sputtering, Harry replies indignantly, “Yes it is!”

“You made him cry, Harry,” Louis comments disapprovingly as he pushes himself off the desk and takes a marker from Niall’s grasp. “M gonna sign your thing,” he declares.

With a small sniffle, Niall nods and holds out his casted arm to Louis while Harry pouts.

“I wanna sign,” Harry rushes before clambering off of the desks to grab a marker from Niall, too.

“Say you’re sorry, Harry,” Liam sternly advises. When Harry mumbles an apology, he turns his attention to the rest of the classroom, “Alright, kiddies, everyone has five minutes to sign Niall’s cast. Then, we’re going to start class.”

The kids scramble over to sign Niall’s cast and to doodle little cartoons on the material. Even Eleanor graces the boys with her presence and draws a little flower on the part that covers Niall’s hand before signing her name.

“Okay, okay,” Liam begins again once he’s sure that everyone is finished. “Let’s take our seats,” he continues as he walks toward the board and grabs an expo marker.

“You’re not sitting,” Louis tilts his head at Liam.

Looking up from his marker, Liam lifts an eyebrow, “I’m the teacher. I don’t have to sit, Louis.”

“I’m a kid. I don’t have to sit, Mister,” Louis announces as he stands from his seat.

A little bewildered and confused, Liam merely stares at Louis, “Would you prefer to sit on the carpet?”

“Yes,” Louis nods after a moment of consideration.

“Alright, every body take a seat crisscross on the carpet right here,” Liam gestures for them to make a semi-circle around where he stands at the white board. Once everyone complies, he looks back to Louis, “May I begin now?”

Giving a thumbs up, Louis smiles brightly.

“Great. So, today we’re going to talk about something called phonemes so that we may begin to read those super awesome books I passed out,” Liam starts. He turns to write a few groupings of letters on the board in a large font: _th, ch,_ and _sh._ “Who can tell me what this letter is?” he asks as he draws a small arrow to the _t._

“T for tail,” Eleanor answers easily.

Smiling a little, Liam goes on, “Good! Now, who can tell me what sound these two letters make when they’re put together?” He gestures to the _th_ and glances at his kids again.

Silence is mostly Liam’s answer so he turns his attention to Louis, “King Louis?”

With his tongue between his teeth, Louis sounds out the letters and merely grins proudly when his classmates turn to him in awe.

“Very good,” Liam smiles a little wider.

The rest of the lesson goes smoothly, well as smoothly as it can with a lot of easily distracted individuals. Liam revels in the distractions as well and doesn’t think about a certain music teacher who is probably still very irritated with him, that is until he realizes what time it is and he nearly chokes on his tea.

“Mr. Z time?” Louis asks as he watches Liam. “You always look like that when it’s Mr. Z time.”

And that is a cherry on the very miserable sundae isn’t it. Liam adjusts the hem of his sweater, “Yes, Louis it is. Grab your lunches, your desk buddies—don’t hold hands today—and line up at the door.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Harry latches onto Niall’s good arm as well as Louis’ sleeve before lining up at the door with the rest of the kids. At the sight, Liam eases up just a pinch and begins to lead his kiddos down to the music room. Each step he takes feels a little heavier and dread builds in his chest.

 _This is it,_ Liam thinks as he stares at the wooden door that looms ahead of them. _Hello door. I wasn’t really hoping to be reacquainted with you._

“You okay, Mr. Liam?” Aiden asks as they near the door. His sandy brown hair is styled back artfully and his eyes are curious.

“W—What?” Liam stammers and nearly trips before he rights himself. “I’m wonderful, little flower!”

Scrunching up his face, Aiden looks away quickly and slows down so that he’s no longer next to Liam.

 _Little flower? Great, Liam._ He sighs and opens the door to the music room.

Inside, Zayn is setting out multicolored recorders on each of the chairs in the room. He glances up when the door opens and Liam holds his breath. “Morning ladies and lads,” he grins and his stare never quite reaches Liam. “Come on in!” He’s wearing a black button up with a white tie that has a music notes patterned over it and he looks _so_ good.

Liam hates everything.

“Mr. Z!” Louis cheers as he drags his desk buddies over to Zayn. “What are we doing today?”

“Today, we’re gonna learn to play the flute’s cousin,” Zayn tells Louis excitedly. “It’s called the recorder.”

Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Niall smiles, “Can we name them?”

“Of course!” Zayn nods as if it’s ridiculous that Niall even had to ask. He wanders over to the door as he continues, “Mine’s name is Lucy. She pretty cool and does everything that I ask her too.” He finally lifts his stare to Liam’s face and gives him a pointed look before shutting the door in his face.

Yeah, Liam hates everything. He rests his forehead against the wood and lets out a breath before dragging himself to the teacher’s lounge. He lies back on the couch and curls up on the cushions like they just might swallow him whole.

Before he realizes it, sleep is tugging him down into the dark. He dreams of angered hazel eyes and of piano keys that come to life to attack him with recorders.

“ _Liam,_ ” one of the piano keys says loudly. “ _Wake up, Liam!”_

Startling hard, Liam nearly falls off of the couch before a pair of hands steady him. He looks up in panic to find those hazel eyes staring back at him. “Inception…” he whispers in shock.

“What?” Zayn asks as his brows pinch together. “You missed lunch. Get up,” he insists.

 _Missed lunch?_ Liam jumps up quickly. “Shit! Sorry!” he tries to straighten his clothes quickly and to fix his hair that has probably become mussed up on one side. “Sorry, Zayn. I’m so sorry!”

Merely staring back at him with a raised eyebrow, Zayn takes a step back. “Yeah,” he says shortly. “Well, the kiddos are back in your classroom with Paul,” he finishes before heading toward the door.

“Z—Zayn, wait,” Liam rushes as he grabs Zayn’s sleeve. “I need to talk to you.”

“The kids are waiting,” Zayn tells him before removing Liam’s fingers from his sleeve and smoothing the rumpled fabric. “Now isn’t the time,” he slips out the door without another word.

A dejected feeling settles over Liam as he heads back to his own classroom. When he reaches it, he tries to smile as he apologizes to Paul and begins directing his students again. Overall, he fails and he can’t even manage a laugh when Louis, Harry, and Niall construct a pyramid out of the books because they don’t feel like looking at them.

At the end of the day, Liam bids his kids goodbye and sinks down into his desk. He waits for a while to see if Zayn will appear because now would be an appropriate time to talk, but he never shows up. So, after gathering his things, he takes the short walk down to the music room. He holds his breath as he reaches for the door handle. Gripping the metal handle with unease and clammy hands, he turns it.

The lights in the room are off and the piano rests in the far corner in silence.

Zayn’s already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting so patiently because I'm so awful at updating, but this one is relatively twice as long as the other chapters. This will generally be the length of my upcoming chapters as well, and as a standard I will no longer post anything less. I apologize for taking so long but this semester has sort of fudged me up, haha. 
> 
> Overall, thank you guys so much for your interest. 
> 
> If you have any QUESTIONS or IDEAS for future chapters, I am always open for them. So, post them in the comments below or in an ask on my tumblr: thatkaitykid.tumblr.com !
> 
> Much love! Good luck on your finals to those of you who are taking them right now like I am!


	9. If I'm Screaming, Talk Quieter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OF ALL: The title of this chapter comes from the song "Change Me" by Mr. J.B. cause well, yeah.
> 
> Second of all: Oh good clovers, I updated quickly! All of you can say thank you to my failing grades and misery for this. Haha, I'm mostly kidding. Anyway, I hope that this will be a trend I can stick to. While it will not be back to back like this update and chapter eight were... I am officially aiming for an update once a week on Saturdays since it will be Christmas break in about five days.

Miserable, dejected, and aggressively lonely, Liam goes out for dinner by himself on Tuesday night. He doesn’t change his clothes or attempt to fix himself up in the slightest and when the perky little hostess asks him if he’s waiting for his girlfriend he just glares at her like she’s the source of all his problems. She isn’t and he does feel slightly bad for being rude to her because she _has_ to be nice to him no matter what he does, but he doesn’t apologize.

The music of the small restaurant is loud and the décor is relatively gaudy. Even the waiters and waitresses are dressed to match the abrasive colors painting the walls. “Welcome to Soleil, my name’s Dani. What can I get for you?” a beautifully tan skinned waitress with long, dark curly hair pulled back into a ponytail asks. She appears bored despite the smile on her lips.

“Dani,” Liam sighs. “You could get me one of those remotes from the movie Click.”

Seemingly confused for a moment, Dani tilts her head. It takes a second before realization sets in and she laughs, “I meant more in the vicinity of beverages. Sorry.”

“Right,” Liam pushes his hair away from his face and peers at the empty seat across from him. “What do you have on tap?”

“Guinness, Blue Moon, Budweiser, and some IPA,” Dani recites while looking at her order book. She tucks a loose curl behind her ear and looks back at him, “Any of those sound good?”

 _No_ , Liam lets out a breath. “Can I actually have a double shot of vodka on the rocks?” he asks.

“Mm,” Dani nods. “Rough day then?”

For a bit, Liam considers telling her that she doesn’t have to waste her time pretending to care but here he is at a restaurant having a shame dinner. “The worst,” he admits.

“Sorry to hear that,” Dani pats his shoulder as she shuts her book. “I’ll have your drink right out,” she tells him before walking away.

So, Liam sits in silence and watches the people around him probably a little too intently for anyone else’s comfort, but whatever. He’s feeling pathetic, leave him be.

The table directly in front of him is a young couple. It’s a blonde haired boy and a ginger haired girl. They’re smiling but more so down at the table than each other, and they’re not quite touching hands. _Probably a first date,_ he thinks. Liam would pity them if he wasn’t currently eating alone and definitely lower on the social ladder than the two of them so he looks elsewhere.

A little further away from him, is a large table of older gentlemen. They’re probably too blind to notice that this restaurant is not in fact the pancake house that serves them their early riser’s breakfast every morning. _That’s a little rude, don’t you think?_

“I wanna eat…” a quiet voice reaches his ears and he looks over to spot a familiar curly head of hair.

“Go on Harry,” Harry’s mother tells him with a gesture to the impatiently waiting waiter. “Tell the nice man what you want to have for dinner.”

At the table, Harry is seated by a girl just a little bit older than him with green eyes so similar that it can only mean that she’s his sister. Across from Harry is his mother, who’s patting at his small hand encouragingly.

“Dino chicken…” Harry murmurs so quietly that Liam almost misses it and the waiter has to lean in closer just to hear him.

Unfortunately, Liam looks a little too long at them because Harry’s sister is now pointing at him with a scrunched up face and Harry squeaks, “Mr. Liam!”

Turning in her chair, Harry’s mum smiles, “Mr. Liam, nice to see you.”

“O—Oh, hello,” Liam replies as Dani brings over his drink.

“Are you by yourself? Why don’t you join us?” Anne offers cheerfully.

Fumbling for a way to turn her down, Liam ends up looking at the empty seat across from him and then at Dani who’s looking pityingly back at him. “I’ll move your tab over to their table,” Dani smiles gently before patting his hand and walking away.

At a loss, Liam takes his drink and moves to the empty chair beside Anne, “Thank you.”

“Of course! Couldn’t let Harry’s favorite teacher eat by himself,” Anne smiles and offers some of their chips and salsa to him.

“I’m your favorite teacher, Harry?” Liam feels a little of his unease slip away as he peers at Harry.

Cheeks lighting up nervously under the attention, Harry crumbles the chip in his grasp, “G—Gemma’s favorite is Mr. Kotecha…!”

“Liar,” Gemma pushes Harry’s shoulder. “Don’t say nothing if you don’t know nothing!”

“Nuh uh…! You said…” Harry starts with a frantic look at his mum and even Liam.

A laugh escapes Liam as he takes a chip from the basket, “Is this where you got that from Harry?”

“Oh, no,” Anne smiles with a chastising look at Gemma. “Has he been saying that too?”

“Course he says what I say,” Gemma lifts a dainty eyebrow as she takes a chip from the basket and hands it to Harry. “I’m his _mentor._ ”

Giving an impressed look, Liam dips his chip in salsa, “You’re very intelligent, aren’t you Gemma?”

“Duh,” Gemma wipes Harry’s crumbs onto the floor. “I’m eight. I know everything there is to know.”

“She’s very humble, if you didn’t catch that,” Anne laughs gently.

Nodding definitively, Liam grins, “Since you’re so smart, Gemma, I bet you could help Harry with his reading.”

“Gem-Gem reads to me all the time, Mr. Liam!” Harry bursts seemingly already regaining his confidence.

“Oh, really,” Liam approves. “That’s wonderful to hear,” he nods again. _This is nice,_ he thinks. For a moment, he doesn’t worry about the fact that Zayn is angry with him, and suddenly he realizes that this is why he did what he did. His kids are the most important things to him and he would do anything to make sure that they’re okay. Zayn may have a different perspective as a parent but that doesn’t mean he’s always right. So what that he didn’t listen to Zayn. He doesn’t need to apologize and he isn’t going to.

The table’s food arrives a few minutes later and even though Liam didn’t order, a plate of enchiladas is placed before him. When he glances up in confusion, the waiter tells him that Dani said he ordered it. Still confused, but grateful, he eats his food with his student’s family.

At the end of the meal, Liam slips his card to the waiter and pays for the entire table despite Anne’s profuse resistance. He knows he probably should only pay for his own food because his rent and his car payment are both due soon but he feels like he owes it to Anne for inviting him over when he was clearly miserable.

“Tell Mr. Liam thank you,” Anne sternly tells her two children.

Gemma mumbles her thanks and Harry tugs Liam’s sleeve until Liam leans down to his level. “Thank you, Mr. Liam!” Harry beams.

“You both are so very welcome!” Liam replies cheerily. “Have a great night and I will see you tomorrow Harry,” he waves after straightening up.

“Bye, Liam,” Anne smiles before pulling her children away by the hand.

And once again, Liam is left alone. The only difference now is that he’s in the dark, doesn’t remember where he parked his car, and he’s decided indignantly that he no longer owes Zayn an apology. So, his shame shifts to irritation of his own and then back to shame as he hits the car alarm button on his keys to locate his car which ends up being directly in front of him.

The following day proves to be a little easier. He even feels so energized—this is mainly a lie, he may just be avoiding the teacher’s lounge—that he decides to join his kids in gym class.

“You really don’t have to do this,” Paul eyes him warily. He’s in a school issued polo and a pair of khaki shorts that most definitely qualify him as more prepared for this than Liam.

Poor, naïve Liam who’s wearing dress slacks and a fall inspired button up is really out on a limb here. “I’ve got nothing to do for the next hour,” he nods. “It would be awesome to see the kiddos in action. Louis’ been telling me that he’s going to be a footie star in the future.”

“He’ll certainly be something,” Paul sighs before blowing his whistle to get the kids’ attention. “Get in your lines for stretches!”

The students line up in rows faster than Liam’s ever seen them do anything. “Who wants to lead stretches today?” Paul asks.

Both Louis and Eleanor’s hands shoot into the air at the same time. Glancing at each other, Louis lowers his hand, “You can do it, Eleanor!”

Stunned, Liam looks between both of his kids. _He didn’t even insult her. He just let her have it._

“Alright, Eleanor. Come on up,” Paul waves her over. “Remember to count loudly.”

So, Eleanor leads everyone through the stretches with a loud, high-pitched voice. When Liam doesn’t necessarily comply with doing the stretches, she turns her attention toward him. “Mr. Liam, you have to!” she shouts.

“Right, right. Sorry!” Liam laughs as he reaches down to touch his toes.

Once they’re finished, Paul has Aiden and Ed grab the bags of purple and green jerseys before passing them out. “We’re going to be playing capture the flag today!” he announces as the kids begin to pull jerseys over their heads. “The goal is to get the other teams flag before someone tags you. Everyone understand?” he asks as he sets up a cone on each side of the gym.

“Are you and Mister going to play with us?” Louis questions with a raised hand as he bounces up and down excitedly in his purple jersey. “I want Mister on my team!”

“Alright,” Paul holds out a purple jersey to Liam before pulling on his own.

Whispering, Liam tugs his jersey over his head, “Is it fair that we play?”

“Are you afraid you’re going to lose?” Paul lifts an eyebrow at him and grins before pulling on his own green jersey.

“C—Course not,” Liam sputters as he goes to his side of the gym.

Paul blows his whistle, “Begin!”

The kids scatter and Liam immediately feels lost. He nearly knocks over Niall before tumbling into Harry who looks up at him through wide eyes like his whole family has just been deeply offended. He apologizes quickly and straightens Harry up before realizing that he would be most effective at standing by their flag.

“Mister! Tag Katelyn!” Louis screams at him. His chestnut hair is wild from running around and he’s smiling brightly. “Tag her! Mister!”

Liam whips around to try and find the twin that Louis some how knows is Katelyn and not the other one that he’s currently blanking on the name of. In a panic, he bops the closest green jersey-wearing girl he can find on the top of the head.

“Not fair!” Katelyn pouts as she stomps her way back to the other end of the gym. “Mr. Liam’s too big to play!”

“Is not!” Louis skips around her in circles until she crosses over the centerline on the floor. He sticks his tongue out just as Harry does the same for good measure.

Pointing at the two, Paul chastises, “Hey! I told you two already not to do that. One more time and you’re both sitting out!”

Liam may have been on the verge of joining them but he quickly shuts his mouth before reminding himself that _yes_ he is playing a children’s game with children but that does not make him a _child._ “That’s right, boys. Be good sports!”

“I saw you already,” Paul reminds him as he gives Liam a pointed look.

So, Liam nods and ducks his head in embarrassment. He lifts his hand in a quiet apology and goes back to guarding their flag only to find that it’s gone.

“Mr. Liam!” Niall cries just as Aiden dashes passed him.

Ever the abrasive and somehow efficient, Louis promptly tackles Aiden to the ground and tugs the flag away from his hands. “Don’t think so!” he shrieks delightedly.

“Y—You can’t…” Liam looks to Paul for confirmation. “Louis, you tag, not tackle,” he sighs as he helps a sniffling Aiden to his feet.

“But, Mister!” Louis huffs as he waves the flag around.

Pulling the flag away from Louis’ hand, Paul merely points to the sideline, “Don’t try to fool Mr. Liam, Louis. You know very well what the rules are. One game out for you.”

“Fucking…” Louis grumbles as he yanks his jersey off and stomps toward the wall.

“What was that?” Paul asks gruffly. “Are you asking to sit out for the rest of the period?”

In response, Louis merely glares and slides down the wall into a crisscross position with balled up fists.

“One win for green!” Paul shouts before handing the flag back to Liam.

“Avenge me, Harry!” Louis yells before quieting down when Paul gives him another look. He crosses his arms in defiance and shifts around on his seat.

Startled, Harry nods quickly despite being the smallest one in the game and gives Louis a thumb up before taking on the fiercest look that Liam’s ever seen on a child.

“Let’s begin!” Paul instructs once Liam places the flag back on its cone.

Somehow, Harry _does_ end up getting the flag in _all_ three of the other games which leaves not only Liam but also, Paul extremely bewildered. Even though Louis did play in the two following games, Harry still captured the flag and brought it back over to Louis cheerfully.

“Great game kids!” Paul claps his hands together as the kiddos take off their jerseys and put them away. “I will hopefully see all of you on Friday!”

“Bye Coach Paul!” Louis grins as he carries Harry on his back.

Offering a small wave to Paul, Liam ushers the kids out into the hallway, “Everyone excited for lunch?”

Lunch is peaceful and aside from the fact that Liam can smell his own deodorant because of how sweaty he is, he feels okay. He hasn’t run into Zayn yet or even seen him for that matter and it’s a little nice. _This is a stalemate,_ Liam realizes and he isn’t going to be the one to give in. He can be stubborn too because he’s done nothing wrong and the smiling boy with the cast sitting across from him is proof of that.

For the rest of the school day, Liam manages to avoid seeing Zayn even though they work on the same hall. He goes home, calls his mum, and sleeps better than he has in days.

Thursday proves to be more of a challenge. When Liam arrives at school, it’s to an email from Principal Cowell that tells him that Niall will not be attending Music class on Thursdays but will instead be sitting down with the school counselor for the entire period. The only real problem with this is that Niall hasn’t been made aware and by some trick of fate, it’s Liam’s job to ruin the poor kid’s day.

Plus, what makes it worse is that Niall is behaving so perfectly today. He doesn’t even join in when Louis runs around the room with Harry like this is recess instead of classroom time. He just sits there and smiles as he flips through his little book like he knows what the words might be trying to tell him.

So, as time draws closer and closer to music time, Liam feels increasingly awful. “Oh, Niall like the river, could I talk to you for a minute?” he asks from his desk.

The other children are enjoying a little bit of free time and when Liam speaks Louis comes to a halt. Harry almost knocks into the back of him. “What’s up, Mister?” Louis asks as Harry rights himself.

“Just Niall, please. Keep playing, Louis,” Liam waves a hand at the two boys as Niall hesitantly comes over to him.

“What’d I do, Mr. Liam?” Niall asks cautiously as he ducks his head shyly. He cradles his casted hand to his chest and looks up at Liam warily. He’s wearing a green shirt that has a dinosaur on it as well as the word _GRUMPOSAUR!_

Wringing his hands together, Liam leans forward on his desk to talk in a low voice, “Niall, I have a little bit of bad news.” He rushes to continue when a frightened look overcomes Niall’s face, “From now on you will be spending Thursday’s music time with Ms. Teasdale. You remember her? The nice lady with the blonde hair?”

“W—Why?” Niall’s bright blue eyes begin to well up with tears. “Am I in trouble? I wanna see Mr. Z!”

“S—Shh,” Liam hurries as he reaches out to pat Niall’s hand. “You’re not in trouble, I promise. Ms. Teasdale would just like to talk to you, okay?”

Tears begin to slip down Niall’s pale cheeks, “B—But, I wanna see Mr. Z! I wanna see Mr. Z!”

“You will see Mr. Z next Tuesday, Niall,” Liam feels like he is the worst person on earth and he sort of wants to die a lot right now. “Don’t cry… It’s okay, Niall. You know what? You’ll see Mr. Z at lunch and if you’re good, I bet he will even sit by you.”

“Y—You think so?” Niall hiccups.

Nodding quickly, Liam affirms, “Yep. You can even ask him yourself when we drop the rest of the class off, okay?”

“O—Okay,” Niall sniffles as he wipes at his eyes.

“Great,” Liam ruffles up Niall’s hair with a soft smile as he gets up from his chair. “Okay! Everyone, let’s line up at the door!”

The kids almost immediately rush to the door. Louis grabs Harry by the hand before pulling Niall along by the sleeve. “You okay, Ni?” Louis ‘whispers’.

In response, Niall merely sniffles and nods some more.

Taking a deep breath, Liam leads his kids down the hall to Zayn’s classroom. The door is open today with the lights streaming out into the hallway and the soft strum of guitar flowing out welcomingly.

Liam briefly and childishly hates it. He knocks on the open door before letting his kids run wildly inside. “Go on Niall,” he pushes Niall gently inside once everyone else has gone.

“M—Mr. Z,” Niall begins sadly as he reaches up to tug on Zayn’s navy sleeve.

“Niall!” Zayn greets cheerfully before he notices the upset expression on Niall’s little face. “What’s up little man?”

Pouting out his bottom lip, Niall glances back at Liam, “I have to go talk to Ms. Teasdeli.”

“Ms. Teasdale?” Zayn amends. “Oh.”

“Will you sit next to me at lunch?” Niall asks in a rush. “Mr. Liam said you would if I was good…!”

Casting a glance in Liam’s general direction, Zayn nods swiftly and returns his attention to Niall, “Of course, I will!”

“O—Okay!” a smile returns to Niall’s face before he turns and runs back to Liam’s side.

Just as Liam’s turning away from the music room, he notices Zayn’s eyes on him. He doesn’t stop though, doesn’t give Zayn the satisfaction of thinking that he still wants to make up with him. He leads Niall away with a slightly pleased smile on his face.

Ms. Teasdale greets them at the door to her office with a bowl of goodies for Niall to choose from and when Niall is sufficiently distracted she waves Liam out of the room with a quiet _I’ll bring him to you at lunch._

So, with ease and a high level of immature pride, Liam goes back to his classroom. He spends the hour tidying up his room and writing out the schedule for the rest of the day on the whiteboard using a different color for each letter. He listens to music that streams through his computer and maybe dances a little but no one else really needs to know that he can accurately breeze through the choreography of every boy band song since the early 1990’s.

When the hour dwindles away, Liam heads down to the lunchroom where he finds Zayn waiting at one of the tables with the kids. He picks up a tray lunch from the line and walks right on passed where Zayn sits to place himself at the table where Eleanor and a few of his other kids eat. He makes sure that his seat is carefully away from Zayn as he eats his bread, it might be corn bread but he can’t be sure, and talks amicably with his students. He can play this game just as easily as Zayn can. He’s a grown man and he’s had plenty of sort of friends that have gotten mad at him for useless things.

“…Papa told me he would buy it for me!” Eleanor is saying.

Promptly, Liam tunes out for his own sanity and focuses on scooping a spoonful of peas into his mouth. He instead looks at the flowers on one of the twins’ lunchboxes and thinks of fields of lavender as well as daisies, maybe petunias, too. He feels at peace and can almost feel the warm breeze against his cheeks. There are no worries in this field, no hazel eyed boys with misplaced irritation, and no little blue eyed boys who are called slow by their mothers or possibly hurt by their fathers.

Eventually, the bell rings for the end of lunch and Liam gathers up his kids to drive them back toward the classroom. He offers Zayn a passing glance but he doesn’t smile, doesn’t linger, just keeps right on walking. He finishes the day with several attempts to cheer up a relatively reserved Niall, and one too many tired pleas for Louis to settle down before Harry laughs himself into an asthma attack.

He takes his time making sure that each of his kiddies gets to their proper homeward bound transportation before he gets into his car. From the looks of the car park, Zayn has already taken his bike and left. He doesn’t feel so pleased to notice that.

To distract himself, Liam plays Michael Jackson’s _Smooth Criminal_ as loudly as he possibly can. He sings along rather well, if he does say so himself, and doesn’t let a single thought pass through his mind that doesn’t involve the current task of driving. When he pulls into his parking lot and begins walking to his door, he realizes that there is actually someone standing on his front steps.

Someone who Liam doesn’t particularly want to see at the moment, someone who is smoking a cigarette, and someone who is currently looking at him rather murderously.

“Zayn,” Liam greets as breezily as he can before stopping a few steps away from the man.

“We need to talk,” Zayn seethes.

Shrugging, Liam pushes Zayn gently away from his door and begins to unlock it, “You said it wasn’t the time.”

“For Christ’s sake, Liam,” Zayn yanks the key out of the door and tosses it into the flowerbed. “I said it wasn’t the time _then._ You know I didn’t mean it was _never_ the time. What is wrong with you? You’re acting like an arse.”

“First of all, that was all very unnecessary,” Liam replies as he squats down to search for his lost keys. “Second of all, I’m acting the way that _you_ were acting toward me. I do not owe you any apologies.”

Breathing out roughly, Zayn pulls Liam to his feet by the back of his shirt. “I’m not asking for apologies,” he grimaces.

“Well, I am,” Liam struggles to free himself from Zayn’s grasp. “Alright, Zayn. Let me go. I’m not a child!”

“Then, stop acting like one,” Zayn replies bitterly before letting go.

Sputtering, Liam turns on Zayn with annoyance, “Excuse me?”

“You’re acting like a child and throwing a fit,” Zayn says slowly like Liam might not be able to understand common English.

“Oh, piss off,” Liam glares.

Zayn lifts an eyebrow as the fire in him appears to melt away, “Louis makes that face.”

 _What?_ Liam stills as his eyebrows pinch together.

And now, Zayn is _laughing_. He is out right laughing _at_ Liam.

“Piss off,” Liam reiterates with a scowl as he retrieves his keys from beneath a grouping of peonies. He unlocks his door and walks inside before trying to shove the door closed in Zayn’s face. He’s ultimately less than successful and Zayn pushes his way inside after him.

“Oh, shut up, Liam,” Zayn laughs as he shuts the door quietly behind him.

Glowering until his face hurts with it, Liam angrily picks up his teakettle and furiously fills it with water. “You shut up,” he retorts and it’s not his best but there’s fire in his veins and he feels like yelling _a lot._

Chuckling quietly, Zayn lifts himself onto the counter and swings his legs, “Liam.”

“No! Don’t you fudging Liam me!” Liam flips on the stove and slams the kettle down aggressively. “You got pissed at me! You ignored me! You… You… Fudge you,” he hisses with his back turned defensively toward Zayn.

“You can say fuck, Liam,” Zayn softly tells Liam. “You can tell me to fuck off.”

Inhaling harshly through his nose, Liam rolls his shoulders. He can feel the words on his tongue but it isn’t as simple without Zayn yelling back at him. “Why did you come here?” he asks instead feeling suddenly exhausted.

“I wanted to see if you were okay,” Zayn answers carefully. “But then, I was angry because you were acting like stubborn kid.”

“Fair,” Liam admits. “I’m not apologizing for what I did.”

Letting his heels rest against the cabinets, Zayn continues to watch him, “Again, I’m not asking you to. I owe you an apology.” Before Liam can spit out that _yes, you were an arse to me,_ Zayn presses on, “I’m sorry for being mad at you. I just wanted to protect you.”

“From what?” Liam questions in confusion. He finally turns around to glimpse at the side of Zayn’s stubble speckled face.

“Situations like this can be very messy,” Zayn starts with hesitation. He clasps his hands together on his lap and keeps his stare level on his fingers. “I’ve seen this happen with another teacher. It was actually with Niall’s older brother Greg last year, I believe. She asked too many questions, looked up too much information, and pissed off his parents. She was gone within the week. We handle our students during the day but there isn’t much we can do outside of that time, Liam. This is being taken care of by the people that are supposed to. I’m just looking out for you.”

Falling into silence, Liam merely looks at Zayn. _Now_ he feels like he just might owe this man a small apology. “Zayn…” he says weakly.

“If nothing was being done, then trust me I would be right there with you,” Zayn continues. “But, all you need to do is take care of your kids while they’re in your class regardless of what you think you know. I’m just trying to protect you, do you understand?”

For a moment, Liam feels like he’s hearing the tittering of piano keys back in the school halls again and breathing in cologne that makes him feel dizzy and warm. He doesn’t want to blink or to move or to breathe because the sensation just might disappear. He swallows hard and tears his eyes away. The feeling never leaves and a tiny part of him worries that just maybe it never will or maybe he doesn’t want it to.

“Liam?” Zayn calls to him gently as he slides off the counter. He steps closer carefully.

A breath catches in Liam’s lungs because he can definitely smell it now, that lovely, warm air that always lingers around Zayn. Steam from the kettle seeps through the back of his shirt and he wants to move away because it’s going to burn him but if he steps forward Zayn is likely to burn him too.

“Are you okay?” Zayn asks softly and he’s _so close_.

Blinking hard, Liam turns back to the kettle and pulls it off the burner, “Yeah, yeah. Sorry… Thank you, Zayn.” He can feel Zayn close behind him, but he focuses on pouring the hot water into two mugs before dipping teabags in them.

“So, truce?” Zayn steps away and leans on the counter so he can see Liam’s face.

“Truce,” Liam laughs meekly and passes Zayn a mug before quickly stepping out of the kitchen. He cradles his hot mug in one hand and fiddles with his hair with the other.

Despite Liam’s effort at distance, Zayn is only steps behind him dropping a cube of sugar into his tea, “I’m glad.”

“Do you, um… Would you like to stay for dinner?” Liam hesitates. “I’ve got to work on cutting out some stuff for a class project so I was just going to order pizza and catch up on some television shows…”

“Sounds great,” Zayn smiles easily before cozily claiming a seat on Liam’s couch. He settles back against the cushions and kicks his feet up onto the coffee table. “I’ll cover the pizza.”

Slowly moving around to get his papers together, Liam shakes his head, “You really don’t have to do that…”

“I think I should,” Zayn grins at him, his hazel eyes squinting with it. “Little Harry told me you bought his whole family’s dinner.”

“I’m not poor,” Liam insists with a roll of his eyes as some of the tension begins to leave his shoulders. He thinks of his wallet, of his car, of his rent, and he lets out a breath of defeat.

Letting out a laugh, Zayn calls in a pizza.

While they wait, Liam puts on a horror game show and tells Zayn about his project that he has planned. When Zayn suggests a way to improve it, Liam doesn’t hesitate to accept his advice.

“You know,” Zayn begins once the pizza has arrived and he’s pulling a slice from the box. “I could totally beat this show. I would win all the challenges and all fifty thousand pounds,” he gestures toward the screen where a girl is having to balance a scale with kidneys, hearts, and intestines.

“You think so?” Liam snorts. “You realize that you have to rely on two other people as well to get all that money.”

Shrugging like it doesn’t matter, Zayn takes a bite of his pizza, “This is all math and puzzles. I’m brilliant at those. Plus, I could see who ever was on my team at all times and what they were trying to solve. I’d win easily.”

“I would bet the opposite,” Liam dabs a napkin on top of his pizza to get rid of some of the grease before taking a small bite. “Who would you pick anyway?”

“For my team?” Zayn pauses to think. “Well, I think I would definitely bring Principal Cowell if he would go because that man is not afraid of anything. Then, I would bring you.”

Confused, Liam looks over at Zayn, “What? Why me? I have a list of fears for days. Some times I’m afraid of my kids.”

“You’re intelligent,” Zayn begins. “Also, you’re determined. When you set your mind to something, nothing can stop you from getting what you want.”

Heat creeps up the back of Liam’s neck and warms him to the tips of his ears. “I would pass out,” he breathes.

“Nah,” Zayn shakes his head. “I’ve got faith in you.”

Liam chokes on his pizza.

“Let me be clear,” Zayn chuckles as he pats Liam on the back. “I have faith in your brain but not in your ability to eat.”

“Shut up,” Liam coughs.

In return, Zayn merely smiles. His hand lingers on Liam’s back before it slides down and slips away, his attention returning to the television.

Now, Liam might literally feel like his skin is on fire. His brain is screaming _he touched_ and his heart is yelling _that means something._ It doesn’t, probably. He doesn’t know and that makes him wonder if touching the burner on the stove would have been less painful than Zayn’s close proximity.

“How’s Faris?” Liam blurts after a minute of silence.

“Faris?” Zayn turns his head back to Liam. “He’s good. His birthday’s coming up so he’s very excited. He keeps telling me that he wants to see the lions on his birthday, but I won’t be able to take him then.”

Curiously, Liam tucks his legs up beneath him and turns to face Zayn, “Why’s that?”

“It’s on his mum’s day,” Zayn replies simply. “So, I have to wait until the weekend.”

“That’s shit,” Liam frowns.

Looking away and seemingly more uncomfortable, Zayn shrugs, “It’s just how it is.”

“How’s his xylophone coming along?” Liam moves on because he’s used to this now, this way that Zayn shuts down when he steps too far.

“Oh, he’s a regular Teddy Brown now,” Zayn smiles brightly again.

 _Who?_ Liam tries to locate the name but he isn’t sure he’s heard it before. It has to be some famous xylophonist though so he smiles too, “Wow.”

“You don’t even know,” Zayn grins as he pulls apart his pizza crust. “He’s amazing. I started him on the piano last week. I’m sure that he’ll be great at it some day.”

“Just like you,” Liam says fondly and he doesn’t realize he’s said it until the words are already out.

Zayn stares back at Liam, his expression unreadable. “Yeah,” he replies softly.

 _Shit_ , Liam thinks as his eyes meet Zayn’s. His brain is shouting _look what you’ve done_ and his heart is trying to drown it out with _that definitely means something._

It would be really helpful to Liam if Zayn would say something else or redirect the conversation, but he doesn’t. He stays completely still while Liam struggles to breathe.

 _I’m gonna die like this,_ Liam swallows.

Raising a hand slowly, Zayn begins to reach out to Liam’s face.

 _Not just yet. God hold on, don’t take me yet,_ Liam pleads.

As the tips of Zayn’s fingers touch Liam’s cheek, his phone begins to ring loudly and he rips his hand away like Liam might have burned him this time. “Sorry,” he rushes as he gets up. “I’ve got to take this,” he gets up from the couch and heads into Liam’s room before shutting the door.

Shocked, Liam doesn’t move. He waits and holds his breath like it might help him make sense of the way Zayn was looking at him. Nothing makes sense now though because nothing’s ever simple for him and it’s not like he can pay the internet to tell him what the hell is happening now.

When the door to the bedroom begins to open, Liam immediately faces the television and tries to pretend like he’s interested. “H—Holy shit,” he starts nervously. “I wouldn’t be able to do that. Sorry, Zayn. I would be a horrible partner,” he rambles with a gesture to the television where a girl is trying to get a bag away from a fence filled with live, angry snakes.

“As long as there was no water involved, I would be right there to grab it,” Zayn shrugs as he flops down on the couch.

There’s a considerable amount of distance between them now and Liam clasps his hands together on his lap. “Why?” he asks.

“Can’t swim,” Zayn admits.

So, this isn’t something they’re going to talk about it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, as previously mentioned... I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS!   
> Let me know how you think that I'm doing or if you have any ideas for this fic!
> 
> You can post them either down in the comments below or message them to me at thatkaitykid.tumblr.com !


	10. Probably, Probably Not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience! A belated Merry Christmas to all of you, and a happy holiday to anyone who doesn't celebrate the 25th. I love you all and I hope that you're having a wonderful break. If not, I hope that it gets better with the new year. 2015 has been a bitch.

Honestly, he tries everything in his power to not think about the way that Zayn was looking at him. He throws himself into planning out his lessons for his class, he contacts a dyslexia specialist to create a bridge between Niall like the river's understanding and the correct material, and he even devises a plan to bring King Louis and Eleanor off of battle island to a state of peace.

However, every time Liam closes his eyes, he's unfortunately and well fortunately blessed with seeing Zayn's dark eyes staring straight into his soul with emotion that he can't really find a way to properly comprehend. In short, he has not even the slightest clue as to what to do with himself.

This painful stalemate of uncertainty lasts well through the lasting days of October and the middle of November. It doesn't even start to fade away when the new Third grade teacher, a last minute replacement for the previous teacher who disappeared on maternity leave, gives him a new look to ponder over because it makes him feel warm all the way down to the tips of his toes.

Currently, that particular teacher is looking at him too intensely on this wonderful Wednesday as they sit at their respective lunch tables. With a nervous weight in his chest, Liam casts a glance back at the man who's got lovely sun-kissed skin despite the fall season that's stemming into winter and hazel eyes that are very intent on telling Liam something that he can't, or wont let himself decipher.

"Guess what, guess what, guess what?" Louis bursts a small moment after Liam averts his eyes from the other teacher, whom might be named something Samuels. He's bouncing in his chair as he tries to maneuver open the mouth of his orange juice carton, Niall's bright blue eyes following every movement that he makes, "Guess what!"

"What?" Harry asks tentatively as he takes a small bite of his peanut butter and what appears to be strawberry jelly sandwich.

An excited giggle escapes Louis, and he must have been sitting on whatever secret he has for quite a while, "You can't tell nobody what I'm gonna tell you."

And now, Liam's mildly concerned because the last time Louis started something with this statement, Eleanor's coat was some how mysteriously located in the little boys' toilets.

"Tell nobody!" Niall crows in agreement. The bruise on his face has faded away in the last few weeks and Liam's not a doctor but he's pretty sure his cast will be coming off in a few more.

Instead of clamping his small hand over Niall's mouth, Louis nods vigorously before 'whispering', "My mummy ate a _baby._ "

In shock or fear, Liam's still having trouble differentiating between the little boy's expressions, Harry's spring green eyes widen, "What?"

"She ate a baby!" Ed exclaims and this is the most expressive that Liam has literally ever seen the ginger haired boy.

"You can't eat babies," Niall's dark eyebrows furrow together and he tilts his head in a little bit of disappointment as well as confusion. He flicks a round candy coated chocolate off his tray so that it flies in Louis' direction. "Babies are babies, you don't eat them," he continues like it's the only explanation that anyone would possibly need to know that Louis was quite obviously mistaken.

Affronted by Niall's blatant betrayal of loyalty, Louis crosses his arms tightly across his tree sweater covered chest, "She did too! My mummy said she has a baby in her tummy. You calling my mummy a liar, Niall?"

 _Oh!_ Liam sits up in his chair as a smile warms his cheeks. "He's not calling Ms. Jay a liar, Louis. He's not wrong though either. Your mummy didn't _eat_ a baby," he begins cheerfully.

Settling back into his plastic chair, Louis appraises Liam with a look of distrust but curiosity all the same.

On the other hand, Niall appears to be deeply enthralled with the idea that he might have known something Louis didn't for once. "I'm not wrong?" he says so quietly that Liam almost misses it.

Smiling, Liam nods, "No." He shifts a little in his chair and adjusts the white and blue swirly bowtie around his neck, "Louis, your mum didn't eat a baby, she's _growing_ a baby in her tummy."

Puzzled looks overcome the faces of Liam's students and even Niall who seemed so pleased to have Liam's affirmation is developing a look of disbelief. "I don't think that's right, Mr. Liam," Louis cocks his head, his feathered brown hair falling to the side.

"I don't think so either," Niall agrees skeptically. "I change my mind. Louis' mummy ate a baby."

Liam should quit his job now. Sighing, he nods his head a little in reluctance.

"They're just kids, Liam," a smooth voice whispers over Liam's shoulder causing him to nearly fall out of his chair from shock.

Suddenly rejuvenated, Louis throws his arm over Harry's shoulder and points at the offending man. "Mr. Z!" Harry's little face lights up gleefully.

"Did you hear, Mr. Z!" Niall smiles brightly. "Lou's mummy ate a baby!"

"I did hear that," Zayn nods like the information is the most important thing he's learned through all of his life. After pulling up a chair from a recently vacated table, he leans forward on the table with his chin propped up on his palms. "So Louis you're going to be a big brother, huh?"

Pleased with the attention, Louis bobs his head, "Yeah! I gotta wait a long time for it to come out though. Mummy said so."

"Must be a big baby that she ate," Zayn's eyes are comically large as he gestures to the food on the table. "As big as all this combined."

"You think so?" Niall gapes.

 _You're so much better at this,_ Liam thinks as he watches Zayn. A pleasant feeling blooms between his lungs and he struggles to breathe around it. _You're better at this and so, so much more lovely for every bit of it._

A piece of bread crust smacks against Liam's face and he startles hard. "You're making the face," Louis announces with an accusatory point at Liam. "You're making the Mr. Z face but Mr. Z's right there! Why are you making the face? You can see Mr. Z, can't you?"

The nice feeling fades to horror as Zayn turns his attention curiously to peer at Liam. "I—I'm not making a face," he stammers.

"Are too!" Harry agrees heartily with Louis. He glances between Louis and Liam's faces before nodding more assuredly.

"Mr. Liam's making the face isn't he, Mr. Z?" Niall chimes in.

Shifting in his chair a little more, Zayn leans his face toward Liam's to get a better look, "Hm." His eyes, those lovely, lovely eyes, roam around Liam's face carefully like he's trying to locate important details, "I can't be sure."

"Come on, Mr. Z!" Louis groans with a rough gesture at Liam. "You can see it!"

A breath sits strangled in Liam's lungs as he finds himself unable to move. _This just isn't fair. I don't need this to think about too._

"I don't know, Louis," Zayn sits back and turns his gaze away from Liam's face. "Looks like a pretty normal Mr. Liam face to me."

Sighing exaggeratedly, Louis smacks a palm against his forehead.

The kids resume their chatter about Louis' mum and Zayn sips at his mug of coffee. "So," he begins.

Finding himself able to breathe again, Liam looks to the raven haired teacher. "Yes?" He encourages weakly.

"The Holiday show is coming up," Zayn continues around the lip of his steaming beverage.

"Holiday show?" Liam's eyebrows furrow together as he tries to think of what Zayn might be referring to. Ultimately, he comes up empty and waits for Zayn to explain.

Humming, Zayn leans back in his chair and pushes his hair away from his face, "Each grade sings a little song or does a skit for the parents before winter hols." His stare shifts away from Liam and settles in what appears to be a nervous way on his coffee. "I was wondering if you could help me put some things together for it."

The day that Liam finds it in himself to really and truly deny Zayn of anything will probably never come to be a part of reality. If Zayn asked, Liam probably would jump off a bridge. "Oh, of course. I would be happy to help," he nods his head a little too aggressively.

"Really?" Zayn asks as his eyes lift to meet Liam's and there's a little sparkle in them that reminds Liam very much of a Disney princess.

Swallowing thickly, Liam affirms, "Yeah. Of course."

The bell rings signaling the end of lunch just as Louis gasps, "Mr. Z's doing the face!"

With a poor attempt at covering Louis' words, Liam lets out an abrupt laugh, "So, so funny! Aren't they all just so cute?" He stands up quickly from the table and begins ushering his kids swiftly back toward the classroom.

Appearing startled, Zayn just smiles and waves to the departing children.

"I'm not cute," Louis scowls and Liam pushes him forward.

"Lou-Lou's _handsome_ ," Harry asserts firmly as he tags along with Niall following close behind.

 _Aw,_ Liam smiles a little despite the flush creeping up his neck. He doesn't look back when Zayn calls out to him saying something about emailing him later with the details and he certainly doesn't think more about how he's going to be spending probably more time than he can handle on his own with the music teacher.

As the kids finally begin to climb back into their desk chairs, Liam tries to refocus himself. He throws his every thought into working on showing the kids the basics of addition. He draws detailed pictures of flowers on the board. "How many flowers are there?" he asks.

"Four," Ed answers boredly.

"Very good!" Liam cheers. Every small feat of his kids is another step away from thinking about Zayn. "If we add three _more_ flowers to the pot, how many flowers are there?" he continues as he draws the extra flowers alongside the others.

Counting on her fingers, Eleanor proclaims, "Seven flowers."

"This is easy Mister. Math is boring," Louis groans as he drops his head onto the desk top.

"If it's easy then why didn't you answer?" Eleanor glares at him. "Oh, wait. Cause you're _stupid._ "

A disappointed frown overtakes Liam's face but he turns to the board instead of sending Eleanor to the discipline chair. He writes out the numbers for a slightly more difficult problem, _12+14,_ and glances at the little brunette. "Eleanor, what's the answer?"

Put on the spot and not at all pleased by it, Eleanor grimaces at him, "That's too hard!"

"Louis, do you think you could help Eleanor out?" Liam turns his attention to Louis who's eyeing him skeptically. "Please?" he offers his dry erase marker.

"Okay..." Louis nods hesitantly as he gets up from his chair and wanders up to the board. Taking the marker from Liam, he looks up at the equation. "If... Well, you see the numbers are kind of big so if you can't add 'em just by looking at 'em then you draw 'em like Mister did," he glances back at Eleanor before beginning to draw two groupings of stars on the board.

Patient and pleased, Liam waits as Louis talks through what he's doing. As far as he can tell, not only Eleanor is paying attention but so is the rest of the class.

"Then you just count 'em all together..." Louis says distractedly as he looks over his work. "It's twenty-six. See? It's easy," he caps the marker and tosses it back to Liam before pulling a smile in Eleanor's direction. It's only slightly condescending and Liam counts it as a win.

"Excellent work," Liam claps his hands together and gestures to the treasure chest that he refilled recently with fresh treats and even little knickknacks that he thought were fun. He may have spent two hours fiddling with them after he bought them but it was strictly for educational testing purposes only, _really._

The rest of the day goes relatively well and Liam's heart only stutters a little when his computer announces that he's received a new email. He carefully avoids checking the message and leads his class out to the pick up and bus lines.

"Mr. Liam..." Harry's quiet voice reaches Liam followed by the tug of his sleeve.

"What's up little man?" Liam asks as he looks down at the curly haired boy.

Seemingly appearing out of nowhere, Louis thrusts a piece of paper in Liam's face. "I'm going home with Harry!" he crows cheerfully.

"Oh, really?" Liam questions as he takes the note and reads over it carefully. "I see. So, you're having a sleepover with Harry?"

"Yep!" Louis grins as he latches onto Harry's hand. "We're gonna play games and watch movies!"

A quiet smile fills Harry's face before a familiar girl comes bounding over. "Harry, come on! Mum's here!" Gemma grabs the backs of both boys' backpacks and begins dragging them to a car that waits at the front of the line.

"Bye-bye Mr. Liam!" Louis shouts as Harry offers up a wave and they climb into the backseat of the car.

Leaning, Liam makes sure that Harry's mum is actually the driver before turning back to his other students. He waits and ushers each kid to their respective cars or busses until only one is left.

_Niall._

He waits, waits, and waits some more as the other grades disappear and the teachers head home themselves. Soon enough it's just Liam, Niall, and a slightly older boy who's teacher entrusted to Liam, and this isn't how the last few Friday's have gone.

"Where's mum?" the older boy asks Niall with a frown. He's got the same bright blue eyes and rosy pale cheeks.

 _Right, this is Greg, Niall's brother,_ Liam realizes after a moment.

"Dunno," Niall replies with a helpless shrug.

"Is someone else supposed to pick you up?" Liam looks toward the emptying car park with a tired sigh. He really, really wants to check his email.

A look of realization overcomes Greg's face, "Dad."

"Your dad's supposed to get you?" Liam queries in confusion.

"It's dad's weekend again," Greg states as his eyes shift away from Liam and his mouth draws into a tight line.

Despite his brother's wariness, Niall beams as he rocks back and forth on his heels, "You think he'll take us for ice cream again?"

"No," Greg grimaces.

And Liam needs Zayn right now because _surely_ Zayn would have a problem with sending these boys home like this. He needs his issue compass because a part of his brain is greatly considering that it would be safer for him to drive the children back to their mum's house than to let them go to their father's.

 _Don't get involved_ , Zayn's voice halts Liam's thoughts and he lets out a breath. It doesn't seem like anyone's handling this situation any more though and he still has a problem.

"You don't like going to your dad's?" Liam directs the question to Greg carefully.

A look of hesitation builds on Greg's face as he eyes Liam, "Why do you wanna know?"

"Just curious," Liam replies as breezily as he can.

"I like mum's better," Greg shrugs and turns his attention to fixing to collar of Niall's coat effectively ending the conversation.

Nodding a little, Liam stuffs his hands into the pockets of his own peacoat and looks toward the car park again.

"I'll be there in a minute," Zayn's voice cuts through the air as the door behind them opens. "Yeah, just got done with the schedule for the..." he pauses with his phone to his ear as he comes to stand beside Liam and the boys "...just trying to... Forget it. I'll be there in fifteen. Bye."

 _Thank God,_ Liam breathes as relief washes over him. "Zayn," he smiles.

"Mr. Liam," Zayn greets tiredly with a small smile. "Niall, Greg," he offers the brothers a little wave.

Before either of the boys can reply, Liam pulls Zayn aside. "I have a problem," he rushes.

"What's wrong?" Zayn asks in confusion as his brows pinch together.

With a gesture to the brothers, that's probably not as subtle as he hopes it is, Liam starts, "There _dad_ is coming to pick them up. What do I do? You said it was being handled."

The confusion melts away from Zayn's face only to be replaced with mild concern, "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Liam repeats.

"Nothing," Zayn affirms. "These things take time, and Liam, remember you still don't know anything for sure. Promise me that if I leave you here you're not going to get involved," he levels Liam with a grounding look that's very stern and does nothing to calm Liam's nerves.

 _But, Zayn..._ Liam wants to protest but he merely nods instead. "I won't do anything," he grumbles.

"Promise?" Zayn asks as he holds out his pinky to Liam.

"Promise," Liam nods weakly as he hooks his pinky with Zayn's. It's such a childish gesture but it deeply endears him anyway.

Seemingly sated by Liam's response, Zayn lets him go. "I've got to go pick up Faris, but I emailed you the schedule of stuff for the show. I'll call you later about it, yeah?" he takes a step back toward where his motorcycle waits. "Bye boys!" he grins at both Greg and Niall before straddling the bike.

"Are you and Mr. Z friends?" Niall asks curiously once Zayn has left the car park.

"Mr. Z is friends with everybody," Greg tells him as he sits cross legged on the cement sidewalk. His backpack has been discarded on the ground beside him as he leans back on his palms.

 _Probably true_ , Liam thinks as he leans back against one of the brick pillars that hold up the awning. He listens to Niall chatter about the song that Zayn taught them today in class for the next half hour before a grey truck finally turns into the school's lot.

Dread wells up in Liam's lungs as Greg pushes up to his feet and ushers Niall toward the vehicle.

 _I'm not going to do anything,_ Liam reminds himself. _Nope, not a thing._

Yet, Liam's feet are moving forward on their own accord and he really can't be blamed for the involuntary actions of his body, right? "Mr. Horan!" he greets the man behind the wheel who definitely looks less than thrilled to be where he is.

Greg casts a wary look over his shoulder as he helps Niall into the back seat.

"Mr...." the boys' father starts after rolling the front window down.

"Liam Payne," Liam tries and yeah, he can definitely be blamed for his mouth. "How are you today?"

Appearing to grow more disgruntled, the man glances at his watch, "Fine. Do you need something?"

"No, sir," Liam shakes his head as apprehension swells in his chest. "Just wanted to give you a friendly reminder about the pick up time... If it would be more accommodating for you, I could put your boys in the after school program. It's really great for parents who..."

"Are we done here?" the man cuts Liam off gruffly with a grimace as the back door closes carefully.

Feeling more nervous, Liam merely smiles and nods, "Of course. Buckle up, boys! Have a good evening, Mr. Horan..."

The truck drives away before Liam can really finish his sentence. "Fuck," he breathes out. Well, he can certainly see why Greg would prefer to be with his mum.

On the walk back to his classroom, Liam assesses his conversation with the boys' father and relaxes a little because he didn't say anything that would necessarily cause a problem. So, he gathers his things and prints out the schedule that Zayn emailed to him. He focuses on what will possibly be needed of him by the lovely, lovely music teacher and tries not to let his worry grow.

Mostly, he's unsuccessful and he spends the early hours of his Friday evening looking up proper ways to proceed in concerning circumstances such as this one. All of the information is relatively unhelpful and by the time Zayn phones him that night, he feels like his skin is itching with the need to do something simply _effective._

"Hey," Liam greets meekly.

"Did you do something?" Zayn questions with a sigh.

Shrugging his shoulders even though Zayn can't see him, Liam spreads himself out along his sofa, "No."

"Why do you sound guilty then?" Zayn presses and his tone is slightly less accusatory now.

"Because I didn't do anything," Liam whines pathetically.

Seeming to consider this, Zayn is quiet for a moment. There's a giggle in the background and Liam fleetingly wonders what Zayn is doing with his son, if they were playing the xylophone together before he called. "Well, for now you're doing what you need to do. Did you look at the schedule?" he segues away from the topic.

"I did," Liam affirms before fishing the paper off of the floor to view the information again.

"Good," Zayn replies, his voice a little more cheerful now. "I was hoping you could help me paint a few set pieces some time next week?" it sounds like there's more he wants to ask but he's hesitating.

Curiosity peaked, Liam agrees, "Definitely. Anything else I can help with?"

"Well..." Zayn coughs. "Maybe you could sit in during my music classes next week to help me direct? I love the kids and I don't always see what needs to be fixed so it would be nice to have a second set of eyes on the performances..." he trails off.

"Sure. I'd be happy to," Liam asserts.

Sighing it what may be relief, Zayn continues, "Thanks, really."

"Not a problem," Liam smiles softly to himself as he sets the schedule on his coffee table.

"Well, I've got to try and put Faris down... But, I'll see you on Monday?" Zayn finishes and when Liam agrees the call ends.

For the rest of the evening, Liam forces himself to focus intensely on planning out his next weeks lessons. He prints out worksheets that are primarily so simple that he gets confused when he tries to figure them out and has to try to remove the months he spent learning higher level math from his brain so he can write an answer sheet. Then, he works on his reading assessments, plans a more challenging one for Louis, and even manages to construct one that's geared specifically to Niall's abilities.

When he crawls into bed, he feels like he's accomplished quite a bit and mostly avoided thinking about both Zayn and the Horan boys lives. His dreams on the other hand have different plans for him and he ends up dreaming about Zayn playing something like Handel's "Largo" for him on the piano surrounded by rose petals with a smile that's just for him and he even has a nightmare about trying to save his kids but not being able to reach them in time before a horrifyingly large monster decides to chow down on them.

Overall, the rest of his weekend doesn't play out too differently. He gets up for an early jog around his complex and the little neighborhood nearby, eats macaroni salad for lunch, and even plucks at the strings of his guitar that has been stuffed into his dusty closet for probably too long. He focuses on himself and pushes all thoughts related to those at the school as far away as possible. To his credit, he doesn't even think about Zayn when he hums out the alphabet song.

On Monday, Liam gets to school earlier than usual and sets his room up before Louis even arrives. He's reconstructing his precious Wanderella when the small brunette boy pokes his head into the room sleepily.

"Good morning, King Louis," Liam greets with a smile and a sip of his tea. "Did you have fun at Harry's?"

"It was so fun," Louis grin happily. "We watched a Power Ranger movie and had ice cream floats. I like Harry's house! He's got a cat!"

Leaning forward on his desk, Liam excitedly listens, "A cat? That's cool."

"Uh huh!" Louis beams. "His name is Dusty! He's got this feather toy and if you take it, he chases you around! He didn't scratch me or anything like other cats do. I asked my mummy if I could have a kitten but she said no cause I'm gonna have a baby to play with instead. That's gonna take forever though. It isn't fair!"

"Wow," Liam begins a little struck by how quickly Louis was speaking. "Well, cats are a big responsibility. Babies are even more difficult."

Considering this, Louis cocks his head to the side, "Do you have a cat or a baby, Mister?"

"No, but I'm thinking about maybe getting a dog," Liam answers.

"A dog! You would bring it to school so we can play with it, right?" Louis' blue eyes are wide with excitement. "Please, please, please!"

Finding himself laughing, Liam nods, "Well... If I get one, I will see if I can."

A cheek splitting smile fills Louis' face, "Really!"

"Yeah," Liam grins back as his other students begin to filter into the classroom.

Once everyone is seated and Liam is satisfied that Niall doesn't have any other visible injuries, he begins going over the plans for the day. After finishing that, he passes out the addition worksheets that he printed over the weekend and sits at his desk.

"If you need any help, please raise your hand," Liam announces as he leans back in his chair. He's certain that the janitor must have fixed it over the weekend because the lumbar support is _wonderful._ He closes his eyes for a moment and revels in how pleasant his back feels. "Remember kiddos, it isn't a race. Take your time," he murmurs calmly.

" _Psst,_ Mr. Liam," someone calls a moment later and Liam opens his eyes to find Harry raising his hand.

Pushing up from his chair, Liam walks over to the little curly haired boy who is dressed adorably in a black polo with a small white bowtie that quite reminds him of his own bowtie collection. "What can I help you with, Harry?" he asks as he squats down by the desks.

"I'm finished," Harry mumbles, his green eyes darting around at the other children worriedly.

Surprised, Liam takes the worksheet from Harry's desk and glances over it carefully. "Well done, Harry," he nods after a moment and gets to his feet.

The slightest hint of a smile graces Harry's rosy cheeks and he ducks his head, his dark curls falling in his eyes.

Warmth seeps into Liam's lungs as he retreats to his desk. Harry may be his most introverted student when it comes to their interactions and this will definitely be marked as a small victory for him even if it is just a smile.

When Liam finally takes the excited kids to the gymnasium, he —not so— apologetically tells Coach Paul that he won't be joining them today and heads back to the music room. He finds Zayn sitting on the piano bench facing a circle of older children, a few that he easily recognizes, Greg and Gemma.

"Come on in," Zayn greets him with a slightly nervous smile. "Kids, this is Mr. Liam. He's going to watch all of you perform your Christmas song with me today. Be nice to him."

The children appraise him curiously, Gemma offers him a dainty lift of an eyebrow, and Greg frowns at him pointedly.

"Why's he gotta watch?" Greg asks with a scowl.

So, Liam clearly didn't leave a friendly impression on the older Horan brother. _Wonderful,_ he sighs as he glances at Zayn worriedly.

However, Zayn doesn't seem even a little bit concerned. "Cause I want him to, that's why. Now, everyone get in place, please," he instructs before gesturing for Liam to sit on the bench beside him.

As the children get into their places, Liam takes a seat beside Zayn. On the small bench, they're nearly touching from the tops of their shoulders all the way down to their knees and his heart stutters painfully against his lungs. There are plenty of other places to sit, and he doesn't understand why Zayn would require him to sit right here.

 _You're trying to kill me, aren't you?_ Liam thinks with a weak breath.

"On three. One, two, three..." Zayn nods his head and the class begins to chorus together.

"You better watch out, you better not cry," the class sings in a rather bored tone. Liam swears he hears someone murmur a 'santa's not real' somewhere in there. "You better not pout, we're telling you why."

With a poorly masked wince, Liam listens carefully. He wants to say that the kids are trying because their voices mix well but it sort of feels like the Christmas song one might sing if they were forced to at gun point and he's not sure how to nicely tell Zayn that. With a glance to the beautifully olive skinned man sitting beside him, he realizes that Zayn definitely doesn't feel the same way he does about this.

"Great job everyone!" Zayn claps his hands gleefully when the song finally ends. "What do you think, Mr. Liam?" he turns his face to Liam with such a hopeful look in his eyes.

A horrible ache runs through Liam as he swallows hard and looks at the class, "Well, they certainly know all the words."

The children frown at him.

"And?" Zayn urges.

"I think that it would really help if everyone could give big smiles while you sing," Liam tries again. "I know this song may be a bit silly because some of you may or may not believe in the red suited man who brings you toys every Christmas, but it's supposed to be fun! So, come on. Let's see those big smiles!"

It takes a long while but eventually the children bare their teeth in wide smiles until it looks like their cheeks might hurt with it.

A small laugh escapes Zayn and he nods, "Beautiful. Much better already. Let's try the song again with those brilliant smiles!"

So, the kids sing the song again with slightly more enthusiasm and while its still definitely forced, it's better by a long shot.

The rest of the week goes well too, Liam's class runs smoothly, and he spends his normal break period in Zayn's warm presence. He cherishes every laugh that he manages to get out of Zayn and even feels his heart grow a little as he watches his own kiddos perform an excited rendition of Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree. By Friday he's feeling overall very wonderful and in a state of such bliss that he doesn't worry when he has to wait an extra hour for the Horan brothers to be picked up.

"Liam!" Zayn calls out to Liam just as he's about to get into his own car.

Startled, Liam nearly drops his keys, "What's up?"

"Sorry, sorry," Zayn rushes as he trots over. "I know you've probably got plans tonight, but do you think you could help me paint a few things?"

 _I most definitely don't have plans,_ Liam thinks. He was really just going to go home to look at some pet adoption websites because Louis' been bothering him about seeing the dog he doesn't currently own so much so that he's already named the thing. "Oh, um, sure. I can certainly help you," he answers after a beat too long of staring at Zayn.

"Really? Brilliant," Zayn's face lights up with a smile.

As Liam follows Zayn back into the school, the dark haired teacher explains what he needs to get done in the unfortunately short time that they have to do it. "There's three different backdrops," Zayn sighs. "I wanted to do a different one for each grade but I don't have enough time to do them all. I still want each class to feel special though, you know? So, I've come up with different props for each one and..." he ultimately looks extremely frantic and overwhelmed.

"It's really okay," Liam assures with a smile as they reach the auditorium where Zayn has set out large canvas sheets and buckets of paint with brushes. "You're honestly saving me from making the mistake of adopting a dog so I'm happy to be here as long as you need me to."

Stopping in his tracks, Zayn turns to Liam with a quizzical expression and a bit of amusement, "A dog?"

"Yeah," Liam relents. "I've kind of wanted one for a while..." he waves a hand about nonchalantly.

"You should get one," Zayn offers a much more relaxed smile. "Dogs are great company and great for pulling girls... Well, in your case pulling guys," he lifts an eyebrow coyly.

Flushing all the way to the tip of his nose, Liam looks away for any possible change in topic that he can find, "Wow. Did you draw these sets? They're amazing!" He's segueing but the backdrops really are quite impressive and he's beginning to wonder just how many talents Zayn truly has.

"I did," Zayn lets him change the topic as he instructs Liam to paint the trees. "I'll do the sky on this one while you do that. You can paint can't you?"

"I'm fairly skilled at finger painting," Liam tries for a laugh.

However, Zayn hardly looks thrilled. He appears to be slightly more on the concerned side that his hard work might be ruined. "If you need any help, just ask," he says hesitantly.

"Of course," Liam agrees as he pulls his sweater over his head and sets it aside so that if he gets paint any where it'll just get on his white t-shirt. He gets down on his knees by the designated trees and begins filling in the tan fabric outline with shades of green.

On the other side of the stage, Zayn meticulously works on painting the sky above the outlines of a city. His face is scrunched up in focus as he blends whites and blues and pinks.

As always, Liam finds himself staring and when he ends up painting an emerald portrait of Zayn inside the tree outline, he quickly dumps a copious amount of dark green paint over it.

"Sorry, I didn't even think about it... Should I put some music on? It's quiet," Zayn offers a while later as he pulls out his phone.

"Sounds good," Liam nods with a smile.

Music fills the auditorium then as Zayn sets his phone down and continues painting.

Its nice, they're not all that close together but the atmosphere is much more personal. Liam puts great care into his trees, although they're certainly no where near as beautiful as the sky that Zayn's creating, and he listens to what he guesses are some of Zayn's favorite songs. There's quite a bit of rhythm and blues in the mix and it calms his nerves. It's happening slowly, slower than Liam might hope, but the gap between them is lessening into something more comfortable even if this road only leads to friendship. For now, he has his imagination and that's painting a picture as beautiful as Zayn's sky, and it's just enough to sate him. He may need to venture into the slightly rockier path that involves a certain third grade teacher but for now it's just enough, _probably._

The evening hours crawl in and while Zayn doesn't seem even a little bit tired, Liam's arms ache and he's about to fall asleep in his can of paint. He's definitely sure that Zayn wouldn't want him if he looked like some poor version of the Hulk. If Zayn did happen to like him like that... Well, Liam might have some very minuscule issues with that, _maybe._

"Um, Zayn," Liam asserts after a yawn that leaves his eyelids feeling heavy.

Humming, Zayn looks up and there's a bit of pinkish blue paint smeared across his cheek.

"I think I might call it a night," Liam sits back on his haunches and stifles another yawn.

For a small moment, Zayn appears confused and to Liam's dismay, all the cuter for it, "Oh, what time is it?" He checks the time on his phone and lets out a weary laugh, "Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to keep you so late. I'm sorry, Liam."

Honestly, Liam will probably never get tired of hearing Zayn say his name and if it means spending long hours inhaling paint fumes just to hear it, he's not sure he could find it in himself to refuse. "Not a problem," he smiles tiredly.

"Really, I can't thank you enough," Zayn pushes up to his feet before helping Liam stand up. "The fir trees look great for someone who's only got finger painting skills," he goes on with a gentle smile, just a quirk of his lips.

"I did my best," Liam muses quietly and they're so close really too close again. This time he steps away from Zayn and knocks his hand softly against the other man's arm. "Just let me know when I can help next, yeah?"

Nodding, Zayn looks away at the paint cans before meeting Liam's eyes again, "I will. Drive home safe, okay? Oh, and get yourself a dog, a fluffy one or something."

"I'll think about it," Liam laughs before gathering up his sweater and bag. "See you, Mr. Z."

"See you, Mr. Liam," Zayn replies softly as he caps the paint cans.

As Liam makes the drive home, all he can think about is the way Zayn looked at him as they stood close and he wonders about what might have happened if he had stepped closer instead of backing away. He thinks that maybe, just maybe, Zayn wouldn't have protested. He wonders if this feeling will ever fade away at all, if he will ever stop chasing after this kind hearted and lovely man.

_Probably not._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to have the kids singing "Merry, Merry, Merry Frickin Christmas," but alas I forgot how incredibly inappropriate that song actually was haha. 
> 
> Anywho, as always feel free to suggest things for this story and to comment in the section below as a wonderful gift to me or on my tumblr: thatkaitykid.
> 
> Stay safe my lovely little petals!


	11. I Can See the Sun and the Moon...

As it turns out, thinking about it actually means that the following day, Liam finds himself at the closest animal shelter. He’s a weak man, he truly is. Plus, it only made it worse that Zayn urged him to do it. So, he spent most of the night focusing what kind of puppy he might get instead of thinking of Zayn’s dumb, lovely arse face.

There’s literally no real specific reason that he should be getting a dog. He hardly has the proper income to support himself and he’s _really_ okay being alone, mostly, but the little furry animals in the cages are looking at him like he just might be the Jesus Christ returning from the sky to save them from their hell. All in all, Liam’s not going to be able to leave this place without a new friend to accompany him back to his small flat.

“We’ve got a pretty big range of breeds,” the helpful, not helpful at all, worker tells him. He’s got an apron on that has cute little puppies embroidered on it with the words _Save A Dog, Save A Life_ , and it really only serves to make Liam feel like he needs to adopt ten new friends instead of just one. “So, you can pretty much find anything that you would like.”

“Yeah,” Liam replies uselessly as he wanders through the isles. He stops in front of a metal cage where a small chocolate brown puppy is wagging its tail and poking its little white paws through the fence like it might be trying to grab Liam’s shoe.

The worker pauses at Liam’s side and crosses his arms, “We think this little guy is one of those doodle dogs, but we’re not sure. He was brought in a couple weeks ago by animal control.” He pauses to look at the information tag attached to the cage door, “Yeah, they found him in a trash can.”

 _Is it necessary to tell me that?_ Liam thinks as his heart aches a little more. _I’m already gonna get one._ “That’s terrible.”

“Wanna try him out?” the worker tilts his head. When Liam nods, he opens the cage.

The puppy immediately tumbles out and… He pees on Liam’s shoe. Then, he sits down by Liam’s other foot and pants up at him with wide brown eyes, little tail wagging against the floor the whole time.

“I’ll, um… I’ll get some paper towels…” the worker rushes around a muffled laugh.

“I want this one,” Liam asserts before he can stop himself, and he can already see copious amounts of his shoes being covered in pee like this. Yet, he’s so deeply endeared and how can he not forgive that little fluffy face that’s staring back at him like he just might be able to provide a better trashcan of a home for him to pee all over.

The worker squawks at him in surprise, “Really?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Liam nods quickly. “I can potty train him,” he shakes off his poor leather shoe and bends to pick up the little dog.

“It’s not easy,” the worker wipes up the puddle before looking at Liam.

 _Where was all of this deterrent like chatter when I was still considering keeping my sanity and leaving here empty-handed?_ Liam thinks but his face is being licked at with a slobbery tongue and he wants nothing more than to cuddle this perfect little ball of curly fur until he cannot do anything else with his life. “I can do it,” he affirms.

So, the worker fills out a few papers and Liam leaves the shelter with his new companion. “Don’t pee in my car, please,” Liam tells the puppy carefully, but he’s merely responded to with a happy pant and a lick to the palm of his hand. He sets the small guy in the passenger seat as he gets in his car and pulls out his phone. “Smile pretty, alright? I’m trying to impress someone,” he murmurs as he takes a photo and sends it to Zayn.

As Liam’s about to drive out of the lot, he receives a call from the very sun himself.

“ _You got a dog?_ ” Zayn laughs before even saying hello.

“It’s your fault,” Liam whines.

Another laugh echoes through the phone before Zayn replies, “ _You wanted one, and it’s cute. What did you name it?_ ”

“I don’t know,” Liam sighs as he absently scratches behind the dog’s ears. “I’ve had him for all of five minutes. Maybe… I’m gonna call him Bear,” he continues.

“ _A dog named Bear,_ ” Zayn snorts. “ _Brilliant._ ”

 _A dog named Bear_ , Liam looks at the dog and nods. “Well, he’s like a little teddy.”

“ _A teddy that’s going to get huge,_ ” Zayn’s smile is obvious through his tone. “ _Did you see his paws? That’s going to be a big dog._ ”

Lifting one of Bear’s paws to peer at it, Liam frowns a little. His tiny flat may not necessarily accommodate such an idea, but he can deal with that when the time comes. “Right now, he’s a teddy.”

“ _Of course,_ ” Zayn responds easily. “ _Well, have fun with Bear. I’ve got to give Faris a bath._ ”

“I will,” Liam starts his car. “I’ll see you Monday, maybe.”

When the calls ends, Liam heads to the pet store where he carries Bear around and buys three hundred percent too many accessories as well as toys for the small dog. If he also, purchased a tiny hoodie for the puppy then it’s really only because it’s cold outside and he’s a decent human being, not because it’s so terribly cute that he can’t help himself.

He spends the rest of his evening setting up Bear’s things around his home, and Bear traipses around happily bouncing around every possible thing that his little legs will let him reach.

As Liam gets ready to go to sleep, he settles in his bed and closes his eyes when Bear starts to whimper loudly. “What?” Liam groans as he turns over to peer off the side of the bed where Bear is pawing at the side of the mattress. “No, you sleep in your bed. It’s nice and fluffy over there,” he points to the little cushioned bed that he purchased earlier in the evening.

However, Bear merely whines louder and attempts to jump up onto the bed before falling back onto the carpet.

And it’s a testament to Liam’s massive heart that he can’t let the little puppy suffer when he reaches over to pull Bear up onto the bed with him. “This is just for tonight,” he says with a sigh as Bear nuzzles his way beneath the duvet and curls up against Liam’s stomach. _Who am I kidding?_ He rubs a hand over his face and settles himself. _I’m obviously not the master here._

Honestly, it’s the best sleep Liam’s had ever. He realizes this when he wakes up on his back with Bear dozing on his chest. However, he’s certainly not going to let the little dog know that because he _is_ going to learn to sleep in his own bed if it takes everything that Liam has.

For the rest of his free Sunday, Liam sets to working out his schedule for the coming week. He doesn’t let himself think about Zayn, but instead shifts all of his seemingly overflowing infatuation to the tiny ball of fluff that has claimed Liam’s feet as his own.

By Monday morning, Liam is at a complete loss as to what he should do with Bear because if he leaves him home alone that could mean needing to do a total disaster clean up when he returns. Yet, if he decides to take Bear to school with him, there will be very little actual learning occurring, which concerns him.

In the end, not to Liam’s surprise, Bear wins by whining mercilessly as Liam puts on his shoes. So, he puts his companion in his harness, takes the carry crate, and makes his way to school.

“No yipping during class, okay? Please?” Liam begs uselessly as he carries the crate from the car park into the school. To his relief, none of the other teachers are meandering about in the hallway so he gets to his classroom relatively unscathed.

“Mister, what’s that?” Louis meets him half way down the hallway with his little hands already out stretched to grab hold of the edges of the crate. “Is that a dog? It is! You got a dog! Mister!” he gasps as he pokes his fingers through the metal door.

Dread swims through Liam’s chest as he urges Louis back toward the classroom door, “Good morning, Louis. This is Bear. He will bite you.”

“He’s not a bear,” Louis giggles. His hair, per usual, is poking out in just about every direction like gravity might just not exist in the realm that he lives in. “He’s not gonna bite me.”

“He will. He’s a very vicious beast,” Liam insists because he can see his day crumbling before him and he really should have just let Bear destroy his entire apartment. “He’ll bite your fingers off and eat them for breakfast. Just you wait.”

Pulling his fingers out of the crate as Liam unlocks the classroom door, Louis laughs, “Mister, can I play with Bear?”

“I tell you what, Louis. I will make you a deal,” Liam pushes open the door and nudges Louis inside with his foot before closing the door behind them. “I will let you play with him while you wait for your mum or the bus after school, if you do not point him out during class. Deal?”

Seemingly thinking the idea over, Louis toes at the carpet with his shoe, “Promise?”

“Only if you do,” Liam sighs as he sets the crate down behind his desk.

“I promise,” Louis purses his lips and looks longingly at the crate.

With that _hopefully_ contained, Liam ushers Louis to his desk, and goes about writing his daily schedule on the board. He focuses on going about his usual business, and only worries a little as his students begin to filter in, the classroom chatter mounts, and he can hear Bear starting to grow restless in his crate.

Unfortunately for Liam, because things never seem to go quite as he plans, Bear starts making little yipping noises just as the bell rings for class to start. Yet, Louis jumps up on his desk, and starts doing the same thing. All the while, Louis stares with wide, hopefully bright blue eyes at Liam, and not for the first time, Liam realizes how great his little student is.

“Lou?” Harry’s face is twisted up in confusion while Niall sits at his side with an expression filled with amusement and awe. “What are you doing?”

“Being a dog,” Louis snorts because it was most _definitely_ obvious, and Harry should have understood that much at least.

Tilting his head, Harry nods a little, “Okay…”

“Today,” Liam coughs to gather everyone’s attention. “We will be having a… Free day of sorts. I will put on a film, and in just a second I will pass out different activities. You can read, do crafts or puzzles, or whatever you want as long as it’s quiet and in this room. Sound good?” This wasn’t his original idea, he was supposed to go over arithmetic again, but this is easier.

As the kids light up with excitement, Liam quickly hushes them by putting on another episode of The Magic School Bus, and digs out a stack of coloring sheets from the depths of his desk. He passes out the sheets, and some easy puzzles that he purchased before the school year started.

The noise level in the room dulls to a soft roar, and thankfully, Bear quiets down. So, Liam sits behind his desk, and opens up his email. He skims over a few emails from the principal, as well as a few scheduling alerts from the secretary letting him know that the school open house has been moved to the following Wednesday. Exhaling a small sigh, he pushes aside any thoughts of the extra work he’s going to have to do by Wednesday, and opens up a new email.

**To:** _Zayn Malik (zmalik@gmail.com)_

**From:** _Liam Payne (lpayne@gmail.com)_

**Subject:** _Dog Days_

_Zayn,_

_It’s been almost twenty-four hours since I brought Bear home and I have already made quite a few poor choices in regards to him. If you could, please send some wise, sage advice._

_Thanks,_

_Liam_

He hits send and closes his eyes and Ms. Rizzo babbles on about friction, how the frictionless surface in pinball machines allows the class to skate about without stopping. He counts the seconds that pass, thinks of the way Zayn seemed so at ease as he painted, of the way he laughs, and he thinks of how he thinks way too much about Zayn.

In the middle of Liam deciding his habitual musing about Zayn should probably end as soon as possible, his computer quietly pings with a new email.

**To:** _Liam Payne (_ [ _lpayne@gmail.com_ ](mailto:lpayne@gmail.com) _)_

**From:** _Zayn Malik (_ [ _zmalik@gmail.com_ ](mailto:zmalik@gmail.com) _)_

**Subject:** _Re: Dog Days_

_Morning Lima Bean,_

_As a new dog owner, there are a few things you should know: puppies are going to have accidents, rewarding for good behavior works better than punishment, and they require a lot of love as well as attention. It will be a scary few days, but you will be totally fine. You will be great doggy daddy._

_Best wishes,_

_Zayn_

_Doggy daddy,_ Liam snorts. Rubbing a hand over his face, he types out another message before sending it.

**To:** _Zayn Malik (zmalik@gmail.com)_

**From:** _Liam Payne (lpayne@gmail.com)_

**Subject:** _Re: Re: Dog Days_

_Zayn,_

_I hope that Lima Bean will not be a permanent moniker, however sweet it is that you have given me a nickname. Thank you for the advice, but the poor choice I made was in bringing aforementioned puppy to school with me. I have already bribed one very loud-mouthed child. I fear things may only get worse from here._

_Send help,_

_Liam_

_Ps: Okay, I kind of like Lima Bean._

Burying his face in his hands, Liam decides it would be best if he would just voluntarily throw himself off a cliff because Zayn is so friendly, always so, so, so _friendly_ , that he doesn’t particularly know what to make of the actions. It some times feels like Zayn isn’t just being friendly, it really seems like he’s _flirting._

The desktop pings again, and Liam smacks himself because he really, _really,_ needs to follow someone else around like a love sick kid if he’s going to let himself entertain that idea.

**To:** _Liam Payne (_ [ _lpayne@gmail.com_ ](mailto:lpayne@gmail.com) _)_

**From:** _Zayn Malik (_ [ _zmalik@gmail.com_ ](mailto:zmalik@gmail.com) _)_

**Subject:** _Re: Re: Re: Dog Days_

_LIMA BEAN,_

_That would definitely be a poor choice, and I’m sorry that you made it. In the future, I would recommend not bribing children as it doesn’t particularly end well. You’ll figure it out!_

_As a side note, do you think you that you could help me paint after school again? Since the Open House was moved up, I would like to have more progress done by the time they show up. I would really appreciate it if you could help, but I completely understand if you can’t. I know you’ve got some other things to deal with._

_Cheers,_

_Zayn_

In the crate, Bear wiggles around a little and Liam runs his fingers through his hair. He tries to think of other things, the things he needs to do and to get done by the very same deadline that Zayn is concerned about, but he doesn’t think that he can really find it in himself to refuse. At least, not yet. So, he musters up the energy, more like _will_ , to close the email and shut off his desktop monitor.

For the remainder of his morning, Liam throws all of his attention into watching his kids, and making sure that their crafts remain solely on paper, not on their neighbors. He shoves down any, and all feelings of guilt for not replying immediately to Zayn because he’s here to work, to invest in the future’s possible politicians, musicians, even teachers.

When the kids head down to the gym, Liam takes little Bear out to run around until he has to meet them in the cafeteria. He keeps every thought swimming through his head carefully pushed to the back, and focuses intently on the ramblings of his students.

That is until one particularly smiley face appears at his side with a, “Liam! There you are. I’ve been meaning to stop by to see you.”

“Mr. Samuels,” Liam smiles more because he’s startled than out of delight. “Always nice to see you. What can I do for you?”

Tilting his head from side to side, Mr. Samuels tucks his hands into the pockets of his grey trousers, “Oh well, you know, I was thinking about how they moved up the Open House. I know you’re a new guy, so I thought that maybe I could help you out. Call me, Andy, by the way. We’re in the same age group, so it’s a bit weird to call me Mr. Samuels. Too formal, yeah?”

Briefly, Liam wonders if Mr. Samuels, _Andy_ , ever stops smiling. The sunkissed teacher reminds him a little too much of an over excited Labrador, and he’s not sure if he likes it. “Right, right, of course. I, um, I could definitely use the help. When were you thinking?” he leans back in his seat as Louis converses louder with Harry and Niall about Power Rangers to cover their conversation.

“I was going to do it tonight. Probably pop over to the coffee shop in town, and work it out there,” Andy beams, shrugs his shoulders as he finishes speaking.

 _Tonight._ Liam bites at the inside of his cheek because Zayn asked first, but he _could_ use the help. On the other hand, Zayn _also_ could use the help. Plus, he really, _really,_ enjoys Zayn’s quiet, and at ease company.

“I thought that was the Mr. Z face…” Niall murmurs.

“No, no,” Louis quickly asserts in a voice that’s not nearly as quiet. “That’s the face princesses make before they’re taken by the bad guy.”

Coughing loudly, Liam nods, “Tonight? Yeah, tonight is good. Just email me the details, and I’ll, uh, meet you there.”

“Great! I’ll do that,” Andy grins wider. “I’ll see you then, Liam.”

“Yeah,” Liam nods again as Andy returns to his own class on the other side of the cafeteria. Guilt settles deep into his bones, but he turns back to his macaroni salad to shove food in over the feeling.

Resting his chin on the edge of the table, Niall blinks up at Liam with wide blue eyes, “Why you look like you done something bad?”

“I think he did,” Harry whispers as he munches on a caramel dipped apple slice.

“No,” Liam grumbles around a mouthful of elbow noodles. “I did not do anything bad. Why would you think that?”

Giggling into his palm, Louis rolls his eyes, “You look like the bad guys on the RoadRunner show…”

“So I look like Wile E. Coyote. Brilliant observation, Louis,” Liam flushes beneath the collar of his shirt. “Really, you could be the next Sherlock Holmes.”

“What?” Louis scrunches up his freckled nose as he picks up the remaining half of his sandwich.

Letting out a heavy breath, Liam shakes his head, “Nothing.”

When lunch ends, Liam leads his class back to the classroom, and puts on some episodes of Bill Nye that he remembers watching, loving, back when he was in primary school. With half closed eyes he types out an apology email to Zayn explaining vaguely why he unfortunately cannot help today, but that he might be able to lend a hand tomorrow.

Just as he ends class, and packs up his things to lead the students outside, there’s an email notification flashing across his screen.

**To:** _Liam Payne (_ [ _lpayne@gmail.com_ ](mailto:lpayne@gmail.com) _)_

**From:** _Zayn Malik (_ [ _zmalik@gmail.com_ ](mailto:zmalik@gmail.com) _)_

**Subject:** _Re: Re: Re: Re: Dog Days_

_No worries._

There’s no cute _Lima Bean_ greeting or sign off, it’s just a simple two worded reply that brings all that guilt he was feeling earlier in the afternoon back into the forefront of his mind. _Should have just said no to Andy,_ he frowns deeply at himself.

“Mister,” Louis ‘whispers’ across Liam’s desk. “Can I play with Bear now?”

Nodding stiffly, Liam shuts down his desktop computer before grabbing his backpack and Bear’s crate. “Alright, kiddos let’s go,” he coughs, feels like the guilt is clawing at his throat.

“Doggie!” Harry gasps.

“Yeah, Hazza. It’s been there _all day_ ,” Louis grins proudly.

An affronted look overcomes Harry’s face before he grimaces, “You didn’t tell me?”

“Nope,” Louis giggles as he bounces on the pads of his feet around Liam. “Mister told me not to.”

“Secrets, secrets are no fun,” Niall walks on his tiptoes toward the door where the other students have begun filing out. “Secrets are for _everyone_.”

Rolling his eyes, Louis pokes a finger into Bear’s crate, “That’s what babies think.”

“We’re not babies,” Harry pouts.

“You would be the biggest babies I’ve ever seen, if you were,” Liam laughs as he ushers the boys out of the room after his other kids.

The walk out to where the pickup line is, is filled with Harry whining loudly – like the baby he claims he is not – and Niall making little yipping sounds to mock Bear’s as Louis waves away every one of Harry’s assertions about betrayal.

As soon as the wind hits them, Louis’ face lightens with excitement, “Come on, Mister! You said after! I wanna play with Bear now!”

Letting out a sigh, Liam gently places the crate on the sidewalk, and pulls a leash out of his backpack before releasing Bear from the crate into the great unknown that is the bright-eyed Louis Tomlinson.

It takes all of five seconds for Bear to nip at Louis’ prodding fingers, and to lunge at Harry’s feet. Liam doesn’t blame him for going at either of the buzzing boys, but he does rein the little ball of fluff in because he is their teacher and he has a job he’s still on the clock for, for at least another few minutes. So, he lets the boys teeter around Bear, while he watches his other students disappear with their respective parents or busses, and prays that somewhere out there God is keeping Zayn busy so he doesn’t have to look the beautiful man in the face, and skirt around why he isn’t helping him when it’s obvious that he needs more help than Liam’s going to be getting from Andy.

“Why’s there a dog?” Greg frowns as he saunters over with Gemma in tow.

“It’s Mr. Liam’s,” Niall beams happily as Bear gnaws on his cast.

Stepping carefully around Niall and Bear, Gemma latches onto Harry’s puffy coated arm and begins dragging him away, “Mum’s waiting.”

“But! Gem-Gem!” Harry whines as he’s tugged along. After a moment of realizing that he’s not going to over power his willful sister, he relents to giving his friends a miserable wave. “Bye Lou! Bye Ni!”

“Bye Harry!” Niall giggles as Louis merely waves him off distractedly while attempting to catch Bear’s attention.

Eventually, Louis is called to his bus – more or less forcefully tugged on board by the burly driver – and Niall departs with his brother in their mum’s van. The absent minded relief that he felt while watching his students leaves with them, and Liam merely stares down at Bear like the little dog might be able to solve all of his problems.

Now weighed down with guilt as well as a sudden wave of exhaustion, Liam piles into the car with Bear as his copilot, and heads home.

By the time he arrives, there’s a new text message from an unknown number on his phone. It doesn’t take him long to figure out who sent it though because of the coffee shop address listed and cheerful greeting. He’s unable to figure out how Andy got his personal number, and even more so unsettled by it.

Yet, when the time comes, Liam carefully coaxes Bear into his crate, and heads out to the coffee shop. He’s not at all surprised to find Andy already there waiting for him, and if he sits in his car a little longer than explicitly necessary well no one could really blame him for trying to gather himself before dealing with the unnecessarily cheery teacher. Or, well… Okay, yeah, he might be acting a little childishly.

“Liam!” Andy greets with a bright smile when Liam finally relents to actually going inside the shop. “Was starting to think you stood me up! I wasn’t sure what you would like so I grabbed some muffins, cookies, and brownies… I may have gone over board, sorry. I didn’t get you a drink though, so you’ll have to get one yourself,” he gestures to the plates of treats on the table.

“That’s great,” Liam nods as Andy finally takes a breath. “I’ll, um, get a coffee…” he starts to turn toward the counter where the barista waits. He takes his time pretending to decide what kind of coffee he wants before he orders, and the barista hands him his mug too quickly for his liking.

Grinning at Liam’s inevitable return to the table, Andy goes on, “Let’s begin!” He pulls a large binder out from under the table, and drops it onto the surface with a loud thud. He throws it open before turning over the first teal colored tab with a printed label that Liam can’t quite read from this angle. “The first, and probably most important thing is to make the parents feel welcome. You’re a kindergarten teacher, so you can use this to show the parents that you’re the fun guy they _want_ to teach their children.”

“It’s not like they can really take their kiddos elsewhere…” Liam mumbles mostly to himself over the rim of his coffee mug.

A bright laugh escapes Andy, “That’s true, but still. Trust me, you would rather have the parents like you than not. So, I have a couple ideas that have worked really well in the past couple years that don’t cost very much. The first is little bags of popcorn, and you can label them with cute things like ‘ _thanks for popping in’_. Another thing you could do is a parent’s wish jar where they can put the things they would like to happen in the class. The last thing is just an open house raffle where you can give a prize to the winner. It can be fun you just have to be careful that you don’t over spend.”

 _Thanks for popping in,_ Liam thinks, and some of the aversion to the ball of sunshine across from him melts away. _That’s really cute._

“Obviously, the next thing is that you have to give a small presentation,” Andy continues breezily as he flips another tab over. “It’s the easiest part, but don’t make it so simple that you look stupid. You know? You’ll have to go over what a typical class day is like, class rules, and the curriculum. You should probably throw in some of the important dates coming up like the Christmas production, and pajama day…”

 _You’re oddly thorough._ Liam watches the way the Andy easily goes over every topic that could possibly come up. When he starts to take notes on his phone, Andy quickly stops him.

“Oh, you don’t need to do that! This is actually for you,” Andy gestures to the binder with another blinding smile. “I made a copy of mine. I thought you might be able to use it… I hope that’s not weird,” he squints a little at his own kind gesture like it might try to come back and bite him.

“Y—You made this for me?” Liam repeats in surprise. “Thank you, Andy… That’s really nice. You didn’t have to, but I really appreciate it,” he surveys the large, colorful binder, and wonders how long it took Andy to make.

The beaming smile Andy gives him in return is bashful, and sweet. “Well, I’m glad you like it, and I hope that it helps you out,” he pushes his dark hair away from his face, and glances at his watch. “I’ve got to head out, but if you have any questions, please, don’t hesitate to give me a call. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Still a little dazed by the gift, and Andy’s peculiar warmth, Liam simply nods. “Yeah, yeah… Thanks again, Andy,” he stands slowly, and offers the other teacher his own soft smile.

“Any time,” Andy claps Liam on the back, and squeezes his shoulder for a moment before heading out of the shop. He gives Liam a small smile just as he walks out the door.

For a beat, Liam merely watches him go. He looks down at the binder in his grasp, and rubs a hand over his face before making the small trek out to his car. _Don’t think too much about it,_ he tells himself. _You would do it for any other teacher if they needed help._ As he drives his thoughts bounce between Zayn, who only serves to confuse and torment his little soul, and Andy, who overwhelms him in a different way but leaves his insides uncomfortably warm.

When he finally gets home, he shoves his thoughts aside, and sets about writing little tags for the bags of popcorn that he will make in the morning. Once that’s finished, he settles on the couch with little Bear, and types up a hand out to pass around during the open house.

Going to bed turns out to be more of a blessing than he thought when he decided to climb in earlier than he had been able to in the past few days. When he finally starts to doze, Bear settles on top of his chest, and nuzzles his nose into Liam’s chin. There isn’t an ounce of apprehension or irritation in Liam’s bones, and he falls asleep easily.

In the morning, he wakes up an hour early, and manages to get all of his open house matters as well as his class supplies together without any issue. Just before he heads to school, he pours some bite-sized kibbles into a bowl for Bear, and great encourages the small ball of fluff to not chew his shoes or pee on his couch while he’s away.

“Bonjour, Mister!” Louis greets excitedly when Liam finally gets to the school. He’s dressed in a grey winter jacket with a little red pullover underneath that has _Whiz Kid_ printed on it in pale blue lettering.

“Ah, bonjour, Louis,” Liam smiles warmly. “Comment ça va?”

In return, Louis merely stares back at him with wide blue eyes before giggling, “Mister, you sound funny!”

“Drôle?” Liam taps his cheek in mock confusion.

“Mister!” Louis giggles again.

With a smile, Liam opens his classroom door, and lets Louis in ahead of him, “Where are you learning French, Louis?”

“French?” Louis repeats with a lost look as he rifles through the books in the reading corner. “Mummy let me watch Peter Pan, and they talked in weird voices like you… I’m tired of reading the bears book. Don’t you have anything new?” he tosses a few books onto the puzzle mat as he searches for something else.

“What kind of books would you like?” Liam asks as he sets his backpack and bag of treats down behind his desk.

Pleased with Liam’s interest, Louis turns, and abandons the books in favor of brightly smiling up at his teacher. “Superhero books! Like… Like comics! Or, the books with the stickies!”

“Stickies?” Liam lifts an eyebrow as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Stickies!” Louis nods affirmatively. “You know, the things you stick to stuff! _Stickies!_ ”

 _Ah, stickers._ “Yes, of course,” Liam laughs as the other students begin filtering in. “I will try my best to get some superhero books, and books with stickers just for you.”

The rest of the school day goes smoothly, Louis oddly behaves, Niall manages to ‘read’ a little of his assigned book, and at music time, Harry leads the class down to Zayn’s room without any assistance from Liam. It’s _wonderful._

Once all of the kiddos are off on their buses or respective vans, Liam busies himself with readying the room for the open house. He sets a popcorn treat on each desk, and he’s in the middle of laying out his handouts when his door opens.

“Finally found the elusive Liam,” Zayn says in lieu of a greeting. He’s wearing the dark raspberry button up that makes Liam melt a little, and his dark hair is styled neatly back from his face.

“Oh, hello, Zayn…” Liam smiles before he remembers that _oh_ , he ditched Zayn last night, and guilt swells in his chest. “How are you?”

Walking around the room, Zayn smiles tiredly, and fiddles with a little bag of popcorn, “I’m alright. These are cute. Are you nervous about the open house?”

“Not really. It’s kindergarten. It’s not like the parents could hate me for the kiddos not learning much,” Liam laughs lightly, watches the way that Zayn carefully glances about the room. “How… How is the set looking?”

“Paul and Louise stayed late last night to help me get a lot of it done,” Zayn straightens out a few books on the shelf before fiddling with his sleeves. “Their tree painting skills aren’t quite as terrible as yours though,” he smiles in amusement.

 _He’s not mad,_ Liam watches as Zayn moves to pick a crumpled paper airplane up from the floor, and toss it in the rubbish bin. “Well, if you need help another time… I would be happy to terribly paint some more trees.”

“The trees are all done,” Zayn laughs. “I’m sure I can find you a bush or some grass to do though. Well, I’ll let you get back to setting up. Want to grab a bite after?”

“Definitely, wherever you want,” Liam nods. “See you after.”

Touching two delicate fingers to his forehead in mock salute, Zayn exits the room with a grin.

For a few long minutes, Liam merely stares at the door because his cheeks are warm, and he doesn’t know how Zayn just leaves him that way. There’s nothing particular about the way Zayn treats him, just another friendly colleague with a lovely, lovely face, but maybe it’s the way he doesn’t treat him that leaves him always wanting a little more. He thinks of Andy, the consistent affectionate air that follows the teacher around, and the kindness he gives without asking for anything in return. Andy’s an open book, and Zayn… Zayn’s not really mysterious; he’s just _off limits._

As the open house draws near, a gentle knock on Liam’s open door brings his attention up from the arithmetic worksheets he had been grading, “Mr. Liam?” In the doorway, Harry is walking circles around his mum’s pant legs as his elder sister stands with her arms crossed. “Sorry we’re early, but since I’ve got two teacher’s to see I thought I might be easier to stop in one before the other starts. If that’s alright with you, of course,” Ms. Anne explains with a polite smile.

“Not a problem!” Liam gets up from his desk quickly to retrieve a bag of popcorn and handout from Harry’s desk before bringing it over to her. “I can imagine these events get a little difficult. Now, this handout just explains the curriculum we’ll be going over next, and on the back it has all of the upcoming school events listed out for you. If you have any questions just send me an email or give me a call,” he smiles as Ms. Anne passes the little bag of popcorn down to Harry.

“I want some!” Gemma pulls the little bag away from Harry before he can take a handful only to cause the curly haired kiddo to screech his upset.

Tearing up, Harry tries to grab the popcorn, “Mum! Mum, Gemma took it!”

“How about some chocolates instead?” Liam offers with a pitying look at Ms. Anne, but his offer makes Harry’s eyes dry up immediately. So, he pulls a small bag of M&M’s from the treasure chest, and passes them down to Harry.

“What do you say?” Ms. Anne eyes her children pointedly as they munch on their treats.

With an eye roll from Gemma and a chocolaty grin from Harry, the two chorus a _thank you._

Just as some of Liam’s other students begin to appear with their parents, Ms. Anne bids him goodbye, and heads off to Gemma’s class with her kiddos in tow.

“Hello everyone! Welcome, welcome,” Liam greets as cheerily as he can as they take seats at the desks or stand near them. “I’m Mr. Li—“

“MISTER!” Louis’ hand pops up as he shouts around a mouthful of popcorn. The outburst draws a few startled chuckles out of the other parents, and a burdened sigh from his mum.

Laughing a little himself, Liam nods, “Yes, Louis?”

“Thank you for the popcorn, Mister!” Louis grins widely before settling a little in his chair.

“You’re very welcome, Louis. May I continue now?” Liam smiles. When Louis nods, he goes on, “As I was saying, I’m Mr. Liam. I believe that I met most of you on the first day of class, but for those of you who I didn’t get the chance to see… It is lovely to meet all of you. I would like to begin by telling you all a little about myself. I graduated from the Manchester Institute of Education with a degree in Primary Education, and this coming year I will be pursuing my master’s in Educational Leadership. This is my first year teaching this class, but your kiddos have been absolutely wonderful…” _Probably shouldn’t have called them kiddos, Liam._ He fiddles with his collar, and pulls the projector screen down so that he can put up a large version of the handout.

Using his repaired Wanderella, Liam gestures to the screen as he goes through the upcoming curriculum and the school events. “Any questions?” he asks before setting Wanderella back on his desk.

The man dressed to the nines in a primly pressed suit sitting with Eleanor raises his hand briefly, but starts talking before Liam can even acknowledge him. “Yes, what are you doing to ensure our children’s success on the coming standardized tests?” his tone is as demeaning as the look on his face, and Liam’s certain he knows where Eleanor’s attitude comes from.

“Well, there are not any tests for this grade level,” Liam begins.

“Do not misunderstand, I am aware. I am referring to the next few years. You do realize that what you teach serves as a basis for the rest of my daughter’s education, do you not?” Mr. Calder barrels on.

 _What is happening,_ Liam tugs at his tie to loosen it a little. “I can assure you that I am preparing all of my students for all… future testing. We are already ahead of schedule,” he asserts nervously.

“Where did you say you studied again?” Mr. Calder interrupts.

Liam coughs, “Manchester Institute of Education.”

“Right,” Mr. Calder scoffs turning his attention back to the handout with disdain.

“Meanie,” Niall glares over his bag of popcorn at Eleanor’s father.

 _Oh no, Niall,_ Liam rubs at his face.

“Excuse me?” Mr. Calder turns his head. “Why don’t you teach your child some manners.”

“B—Back to the handout,” Liam laughs uncomfortably. “Does anyone else have any questions?”

A little bit of awkward silence settles before Louis’ mother tentatively raises her hand. “Yes, Ms…” Liam balks on her name.

“Jay. I was curious about the Pajama Day. Are the children allowed to wear slippers?” Ms. Jay smiles kindly. She doesn’t look as tired as she did the first time that Liam met her, and he wonders if the poor comments she made on that day about Louis were spurned on by working long hours. “Also, will there be any class parties?”

“Um, to class, yes. I would recommend packing their tennis shoes in their backpacks because Pajama Day does fall on a Gym day,” Liam gathers himself. “And, yes. We will be having a holiday party on the last day before the winter break. If anyone would like to volunteer to come on that day, please, email me or contact the office. I will send home a reminder note when we get closer that date.”

With a few more inquiries from the parents and a passive aggressive glare from Mr. Calder, Liam closes down his Open House Night on a decent note. “Thank you all for coming, and remember if you have any questions, please, feel free to contact me any time,” he smiles in poorly hidden relief as the parents begin to disperse.

Just as Louis runs out with Niall in tow, Andy appears in the doorway. He’s smiling brightly as he skirts around Louis’ forgotten coat, “So, how did it go?”

“Pretty good,” Liam laughs. He packs up his bag, and shuts off the main classroom lights before following Andy into the hall. “I think my intelligence was insulted a few times, but there’s not much I can do about that.”

“Oh no,” Andy’s smile is teasing. “They can’t expect a kindergarten teacher to be a genius.”

Rolling his eyes, Liam locks his door, “Shush.”

“Sorry?” Andy chuckles. “Well, how about I buy you dinner to make you feel better?”

A small flush creeps up the back of Liam’s neck, and he scratches at his nape to try to convince it to go away. “I’m actually going to dinner with Zayn.”

“Malik? The music teacher?” Andy tilts his head.

“Yeah,” Liam considers asking Andy to join them, but catches himself. Alone time with Zayn is lovely. _Zayn_ is lovely, but Andy seems _interested_. _Stop, Liam._ “Maybe we can do something this weekend?”

A renewed smile overtakes Andy’s features, and he claps a hand against Liam’s back, “It’s a date then. I’ll see you tomorrow!” He disappears down the hall before Liam can really process a proper goodbye.

_A date?_

Liam is still floundering in his spot when Zayn finds him. “Ready for dinner?” he asks. His smile is soft and curious. “I’m starved.”

“O—Oh, yeah,” Liam zips up his coat, and follows Zayn out to the car park. He tries to get himself together on the drive to the restaurant with the brake lights of Zayn’s motorcycle bathing everything in red.

_Andy’s interested, but you… You are like a drug._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being patient, and sticking around for more. I am already working on the next chapter, and will work harder to stick to a more diligent schedule in terms of future updates. 
> 
> For questions, comments, insults, and suggestions please refer to the comments section below or my tumblr: thatkaitykid.tumblr.com
> 
> I hope that you all are well, and that you all may have a wonderful rest of the year.


	12. But in the End...

Dinner consists of… pub food, and really Liam shouldn’t have hoped for more. In the back of his mind he envisioned pristine tablecloths, genuinely burning pumpkin scented candles, and champagne. Yet, here he is sitting across from Zayn with a fake candle flickering on and off at a table with _Jesse boned James_ carved into the wood surface next to a water stain that’s probably been there since the 1980’s. Really, Liam shouldn’t have expected more.

The disappointment welling in his chest though just might be unwarranted, but the last time he had been in this pub with Zayn it had felt so _lovely._ Everything had felt lovely then, and with Zayn’s attention on him now it just feels so different. He just doesn’t understand _why._ Zayn is still as lovely as ever; his hazel eyes gleaming with the light buzz of the beer in his delicate hands, and his smile soft in the flicker of the battery powered light.

Maybe it’s the thought—no, the realization that Zayn isn’t interested… That he probably would never be. _He’s got a kid for God’s sake, Liam._

“ _Liam,_ ” Zayn calls to him with a snap of his slender fingers in front of Liam’s face, and if his tone is any indication, this isn’t the first time that he’s tried to get Liam’s attention. “Hello? You alive over there?” he snorts as Liam blinks back at him in confusion.

“Sorry, just tired,” Liam scratches at his scruff, and dips one of his chips into the haphazardly poured ketchup on his plate. “What were you saying?” _Oh God, I’m being rude to one of the prettiest people in existence._

The face that Zayn makes is a little scrunched up, “Well, I guess it wasn’t as interesting as I thought.” His lips twist into a scowl as he picks the lettuce off of his burger.

“Sorry, sorry,” Liam reaches across the table to touch Zayn’s hand, but aborts the motion almost as soon as he starts it. _I’m an idiot._ “Tell me again, please.”

“I was just talking about the Holiday show again,” Zayn shrugs seemingly still displeased by Liam’s inability to pay attention. “I’m teaching Louis from your class to play the piano during the kindergarten performance. His mum is going to start paying me to teach him after school everyday for an hour starting next Monday.”

 _Louis, right,_ Liam does remember sort of hearing Zayn talk about that while he was making a tiny log cabin out of his over greased chips. “That’s pretty awesome that you’re teaching him,” he nods.

“It’s really funny to watch, you know? The kid’s like the Energizer Bunny, but when you put him in front of the piano he just shuts right up,” Zayn smiles a little.

“He just needs something to put his attention on,” Liam watches the curve of Zayn’s lips, and his chest aches just a bit. He thinks of the way that Zayn looked at him that night in his flat with Zayn’s hand on his cheek, and of the way that Zayn’s presence warmed him when they painted sets in the dark of the school auditorium. _It was a lapse in his judgment, nothing more._ _Wasn’t it?_

Downing the rest of his drink, Liam quickly orders another for himself and Zayn even though Zayn’s beer is still half full. “Can I ask you something?” he blurts a little suddenly. He greatly wishes that he would just keep his mouth shut because his heart is burning a little against his lungs, and he’s not drunk enough to blame starting uncomfortable questions on alcohol.

“Sure?” Zayn lifts an eyebrow as their new drinks are clanked down onto the tabletop. “Bit random, I guess, but sure.”

Pulling the cherry out of his vodka drink, Liam pops it into his mouth, and chews it slowly. He doesn’t know how to ask what he wants to ask without seeming like he’s prying too hard into something that Zayn probably won’t ever want to talk about. “I, um, was going to ask about your ex-wife,” he begins, and keeps his stare intent on Zayn’s face.

“Why are you asking about her?” Zayn’s expression closes off almost as quickly as his tone.

 _Shut up, Liam. For the love of everything decent, shut up._ “I—I was just curious about her… You know, if something happened between the two of you,” he stammers.

“Like what?” Zayn’s eyes never leave Liam’s face. “Clearly _something_ happened, _Liam_ , but what are you implying?” his tone grows a little colder with each word.

“W—Well… I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it, I was just curious…” he wants to say _if it was because of you not really loving her, if that was a lapse in judgment_. “I just thought since we were friends, I could ask. I’ve had poor relationships, and I wouldn’t mind telling you all about them…” he’s rambling now, and _oh God,_ Zayn looks murderous.

Drinking the rest of his beer, Zayn moves on to the next, “You know, I have a son, and I’m happy with just that. I don’t need to think about my ex-wife. We may be friends, but don’t assume that means I want to discuss _everything_ with _you_.”

“S—Sorry,” Liam immediately shuts his mouth. He swallows down the rest of his drink, and laughs nervously.

“I’m going to talk about something else, is that okay, _Liam_?” Zayn grits the words out, and Liam wishes Zayn would stop saying his name like it’s the dirtiest word he’s ever heard.

So, Liam quickly nods, and stares down at his cold, nasty food with the hope that it might solve all of his problems.

With a chill lingering in his tone, Zayn converses on about something that Liam doesn’t quite manage to catch. The entire time that Liam watches Zayn’s lips move around each word, he wishes that he had just kept his own mouth shut. It’s just that he had to know—to hope—that it had been something that he could work with because Andy is so interested and _open_ , but he doesn’t quite want to let go of Zayn. It’s so _selfish,_ and he knows it. It’s just that Zayn is _Zayn_ , and he’s spent the last couple months being so…

_Infatuated._

_I’ve been infatuated with you,_ Liam thinks as he finally lifts his eyes to meet Zayn’s. His chest aches more, and he should leave really. He’s thrown a wrench it whatever sort of friendship he managed to build with Zayn, and he should just _go home._

“I, uh, I should head home. Bear’s probably crossing his little legs if he hasn’t already marked another pair of my Oxford’s,” Liam interjects when Zayn pauses in talking about something one of the fourth graders did during rehearsal.

“Sure,” Zayn replies. “I’ll see you.”

Nodding, Liam leaves money on the table, and quickly exits the pub. He should have apologized, but he’s not sure what he could have said to make up for prying into something he knew better about. So, he goes home, and curls up on his sofa with Bear sprawled over his ribs.

When the alcohol running through his veins starts to actually make him tired, he doesn’t bother moving to the bed; can’t seem to find even a smidgen of energy. Plus, Bear is so _warm_ , and he’s snuffed his little nose under Liam’s arm. So, he stays tucked up on the sofa, and falls asleep under the weight of a lot of guilt as well as a chocolate colored ball of curly fur.

The alarm clock blaring from his bedroom wakes him up the following morning, and it’s so unpleasant that even Bear growls his grumpy discontent at the disturbance.

“Sorry, sorry,” Liam grumbles as he dislodges the sleep laden puppy from the nape of his neck, and stumbles his way into the bedroom to shut the alarm off. His chest still aches, and he wonders why it’s so simple to apologize to his dog that he’s had for less than a week yet, he can’t squeak through an _I’m sorry_ to the guy that he’s been friends with for months.

Forcing himself through a luke warm shower, Liam shoves any and all thoughts as far away from his mind as he possibly can. He represses so many thoughts that when he tries to get out of the shower, he trips on the bath mat, and knocks his forehead on the sink.

“Fudge, fricking, _fuck!_ ” Liam hisses as he presses his hands to his wounded forehead. A headache blooms behind his eyes, and he rolls over onto his back. “Ever loving _shit,_ ” he whines, and Bear tumbles in to lick at his face.

The rest of his early morning doesn’t turn out much better. He spills puppy food all over the kitchen floor, manages to pour hot tea on his button up, and loses his keys on the way from his front door to his car. The day has only just begun, and he’s already begging for it to be over.

By the time he makes it to school, Liam is reciting made up incantations to bring the harbinger of death upon him. To make matters worse, Zayn is under the entry awning with his motorcycle helmet tucked under his arm as he smokes a freshly lit cigarette. _Maybe he is the harbinger of death,_ he thinks bitterly. This is really his chance to apologize though, and on the walk up to the door he tries to find the necessary words to do so. Yet, when he gets close enough, Zayn hardly gives him a cursory glance before walking to the far end of the walkway.

 _Well, okay…_ Liam frowns a little, but swallows down any sort of apology he could have mustered before heading into the school.

At his classroom door, Louis is huddled up with his knobby knees tucked up to his chest. He looks like he’s having as poor of a day as Liam is if the deep down turn of his mouth is any sign, and he doesn’t even bother murmuring a _hello_ when he looks up to find Liam standing in front of him.

“What’s wrong, King Louis?” Liam asks as he unlocks his door, and lets the small downtrodden kid in. He hopes that his tone doesn’t show the dejection he’s deeply feeling, and that his hair masks the bruise swelling on his forehead.

“I started talking when Mark was, and Mummy took away Scooby,” Louis sadly explains as he stalks passed Liam, and wanders around the room with his shoulders slumped.

 _Mark?_ Liam takes a moment to try, and understand. Unfortunately, all he can assume is that Louis interrupted this Mark, and his mum either took away a stuffed animal or a television program. “Who is Mark?” he questions.

“Step-dad,” Louis replies with a little bit of bitterness.

“I’m sorry, King Louis,” Liam’s tone is saddened, and it’s probably more empathy for Louis’ poor day as much as it is pity for his own.

When Louis turns to face Liam again, his blue eyes are welling up with tears, but his face is full of frustration, “It’s mean! I didn’t mean to do it! Mummy shouldn’t have taken Scooby!”

“Maybe you’re Mum is just trying to teach you a lesson,” Liam reasons when Louis’ voice escalates in volume.

“Well, she shouldn’t. She would be a bad teacher. Only you, Mr. Z, and Coach Higgins can teach me,” Louis wipes the tears off his face harshly, and knocks a book off the shelf in what Liam guesses to be spite.

 _Not the time to feel validated by that comment,_ Liam sighs. “Mum’s are the best teachers of all, King Louis. They only get paid in hugs, and tantrums. Yet, they keep trying to teach you anyway.”

In response, Louis merely huffs, and stomps over to his desk. “When are you gonna get the books I wanted?” he scowls over his crossed arms at Liam.

“I’ll try to find some this weekend,” Liam rubs at his bruised face, and focuses on the delightful problem that Louis is instead of on the fact that Zayn cold-shouldered him.

“You look sad Mister,” Louis acknowledges as he props his chin on top of his desk.

 _Nope. Definitely cannot unload my feelings on a five year old,_ Liam blinks owlishly. “Big kid problems,” he says instead.

“Oh,” Louis grimaces.

The rest of his day follows the same miserable suit: Louis throws the worst fit he’s ever seen from such a small individual when Eleanor calls him stupid, Coach Higgins accidentally nails him in the face during a spirited game of kickball, and as he’s packing up to head home he receives an email from Eleanor’s father questioning his credentials.

“Liam!” Andy’s cheery voice calls to him just as he’s opening the door to his car.

“Oh, hey,” Liam lifts his head, and he’s just so ready to get away from here that the smile he manages is tight.

Jogging closer, Andy’s grin dims into one of concern, “I just wanted to ask you where you wanted to go for dinner this weekend, but are you okay?”

“Just a rough day,” Liam laughs weakly. “And for dinner just surprise me,” he should try for a better answer or even a better tone because Andy deserves that much at least, but he’s tired.

“I’m sorry,” Andy nods, and he sounds so _sincere_. “Well, I’ll let you get going, and don’t worry! I’ll pick some place awesome for this weekend. I hope your day gets better, yeah? Get some chocolate or cake or something, it’s the perfect pick me up,” he squeezes Liam’s arm before he jogs further away into the car park in search of his vehicle.

 _What are you?_ Liam watches Andy disappear, and gets into his car a moment later. As much as he wants to continue to stew, Andy’s simple words have eased the ache in his chest just a little. Plus, _cake sounds really, really great._

So, Liam picks up a Turtle Cheesecake on his way home. If he plans to eat the whole thing then, he’s the only one that really needs to know. To make himself feel a little less like a slob, he picks up a little cupcake that’s really a dog treat in disguise, and lets Bear eat the entire thing while he shovels spoonful after spoonful of caramel chocolate cheesecake into his mouth.

With every ache in his chest, he shoves the worry, and guilt about Zayn away from his thoughts. Instead of thinking of a proper way to apologize to the raven haired man that seems intent on ignoring his existence for the rest of his—well, existence, he thinks of the warmth, and genuine sympathy that Andy showed him. He thinks of the date that Andy seems so excited about that’s coming up, and of the way that Andy is always excited to see him.

_It’s… lovely._

The thought startles him a little because Zayn was always lovely; the epitome of everything nice with a perfect dash of spice. Yet, maybe all of that was just coated with rose-colored lenses. Zayn is kind, dedicated to his work as well as his family, but he’s also a little distant, closed off. Zayn is doors closed in his face, sharp wit, and soft smiles.

_Zayn is someone I can’t have; someone who doesn’t want me._

Yeah, as much as he doesn’t want to think about Zayn at all, his brain apparently vehemently disagrees. So, Liam pushes more cheesecake into his mouth, and turns up the volume up on the episode of _Modern Family_ that he’s got streaming on the television. Every time Zayn’s existence even flashes across his thoughts, he forces himself to stare harder at Jesse Tyler Ferguson. When the ginger haired actor makes him wonder if he’ll ever have a family like that or even _kids_ for that matter, he quickly shifts his focus to the ball of fur snoring loudly on his right foot.

“I don’t have to worry about whether or not you will stick around, right?” Liam smiles as he leans down to scoop Bear up. “As long as I cuddle you, and feed you, you’ll always be my trusty little buddy.” The small dog merely snuffles grumpily, and he counts that as a victory, “Just me, and you, that’s all I need.”

The next few days leading up to his date with Andy are much like that terrible day after dinner with Zayn. All of his misery is mostly related to the fact that Zayn won’t even speak to him on professional matters, but also to the issue that the kiddos are starting to pick up on the tension. Most of them are _not_ quiet about it either. Despite his many morning pow wows with Louis, the bright eyed five year old is most definitely angry with Liam about whatever it is he assumes Liam has done to Zayn.

By the end of the day on Friday, half of the kiddos in Liam’s class are actively ignoring everything that he says, and the others are so confused by the debacle that they don’t correctly follow any of his instructions. When he heads out to his car, it’s with seven unhappy parent emails pinging loudly on his phone.

There’s something different about Liam’s car when he finally manages to drag his miserable self out to it. Tucked carefully beneath his wiper blade is a crisp white envelope with _Liam_ scrawled on the front in swirling calligraphy. Pulling the envelope out so he can look at it, he glances around for who might have placed it there, but all he sees is a mostly empty car park and departing busses. Inside the envelope is a delicately folded note that reads:

_Liam,_

_When you read this note, I hope that you are already having a wonderful day. However, if this is not the case, please head on over to the bakeshop downtown. They will have a nice surprise ready for you when you arrive._

_As for our date tomorrow, I would like to suggest wearing something warm, and to be ready by a quarter to six._

_See you then,_

_Andy_

All of the misery swirling in Liam’s chest slowly dissipates, and he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. Andy could have easily just texted all of this to him, but instead, he took the time to do _this_. His cheeks are a little flushed as he climbs into his car, and heads to the bakeshop Andy mentioned.

When he arrives, a kind elderly woman with a warm smile barely asks his name before she passes a lavender box, and a fresh tea across the small counter to him. There’s a small note attached to the top of the box that has the same scrawl as the car note reading: _Smile!_ He finds himself doing just that as he heads home with his box of treats, and warm tea easing the burned out ache in his chest.

_Andy is kind, thoughtful, and so genuine._

_Andy is lovely._

Inside the lavender box is an assortment of miniature desserts: sticky toffee pudding, apple crumble, chocolate sponge cake, and even sherry trifle. So, Liam tries a little of every one of them before crawling into bed that night more at peace than he’s been in days.

The following day, Liam spends the majority of his morning, and early afternoon searching out the books that Louis requested. He’s partly just trying to keep his word, but every other part of him is hoping that the books will be a peace offering to quell the unhappy atmosphere that’s continuing to spread like wild fire in his otherwise relatively serene classroom. So, by the time that he turns back to his apartment to get ready for his date with Andy his he has ten new books ranging from Iron Man to Wonder Woman, and a few sticker books as well that will likely be ruined within the coming week. Also, he picks up a couple new items for his treasure chest: holographic stickers, miniature action figures, and other toys.

At home, Liam showers slowly, and struggles to pick out something to wear that says _I didn’t try to hard_ , but also _yes, I did_ for the last hour before Andy’s supposed to come pick him up. He ends up wearing a pair of black skinny jeans that are oddly a little lose on him, the maroon cashmere sweater his mum bought him last January, and his black bomber jacket to keep him warm if, well, Andy doesn’t.

Five minutes before Andy’s supposed to arrive, Liam takes Bear out to use the bathroom. Yet, when he opens his door, he’s met by a very guilty, and embarrassed looking Andy.

“Oh, um, my watch must be slow,” Liam laughs bashfully with a glance down at his wristwatch.

Clearing his throat, Andy shakes his head. “No, I’m, uh… I’m early. Sorry, I didn’t want to seem to…” he waves his hands about in a nervous gesture.

“Oh,” Liam smiles. In a peculiar way… Andy’s jitteriness eases his own nerves. “Well, I’ve just got to put up this little guy, and I’ll be ready.”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course. I’ll, uh, be right here,” Andy smiles, and fidgets with the sleeves of his coat a little.

So, Liam scoops Bear up, and quickly carries him inside. He shuts the door briefly, a takes a deep breath. “Alright. Bear, watch the house, and try not to go potty on my slippers while I’m gone, okay?” he gives his trusty little dog a scratch behind the ears before tripping out the door to meet Andy.

“Ready?” Andy asks as he turns a little in the direction of his car.

Nodding, Liam gets in the car, and settles in. He focuses on the music Andy plays as he drives, the small conversation that Andy makes about his day as well as the bizarre story one of the girls in his class wrote for a creative writing assignment, and the way that Andy laughs. He tries to think of the last time that he went on date, and the first date that he went on where he didn’t feel like he was going to jump out of his skin.

The car ride itself is a little longer than Liam might have originally expected, and before he realizes it they’re out of the city. The sky is starting to darken as the sun begins to set, and… Liam’s bliss regarding this date turns to a minor amount of horror. “You’re not driving me out into the middle of nowhere to murder me, right?” he asks.

In the middle of telling a story about some thing that happened in the gym, Andy bursts into laughter, “What?”

“You never did tell me where we were going, and there definitely isn’t that much out this way besides the lake. I’m just going to say it now, but please do not kill me. You saw my little dog, he can’t feed himself, you know? You couldn’t orphan that poor ball of fluff. He was already an orphan in a dumpster once,” Liam looks with wide eyes as Andy pulls the car onto the lake road.

“Liam,” Andy smiles, completely carefree. “I swear. I am not going to murder you.” He parks the car in an almost entirely empty lot before getting out, and beckoning for Liam to do the same.

 _Well, at least if he kills me I’ll get to see the pretty lake first,_ Liam sighs as he unbuckles himself, and follows after Andy.

Just as they’re about to reach the lakefront, a small picnic table lit by candles comes into view. There’s a tablecloth over the table’s surface, and a young man dressed in a server’s uniform standing at the opposite end.

“W—What is this?” Liam’s voice is filled with surprise because he didn’t… he could have never expected _this_.

“Figured I should wine and dine you before murdering you, and dumping you in the lake. Dylan’s here to help with the clean up,” Andy laughs as he ushers Liam to his seat. He sits across from Liam with a warm smile that glows in the light of the candlelit glow, and the sunset casts hues of pink over the waves of the lake.

The guy Andy referred to as Dylan pours them two glasses of rich red wine once they’re seated, “Tonight, the menu consists of three courses. The first course is your choice of either a fresh garden salad with a balsamic dressing or a cup of tomato bisque. The second course is a filet mignon with a béarnaise sauce. Lastly, for dessert, there will be a Mont Blanc a la Frisc flambéed with Bailey’s Irish Cream.”

 _Wow,_ Liam merely stares at Andy uncertain of what to think of this man that seems to want to throw him off at every turn.

“I’ll have the soup, and if my filet could be medium rare, please, Dylan,” Andy grins up at the guy before looking back to Liam. “What would you like?”

“O—Oh, I’ll have the salad, and my filet well done… Thank you,” Liam stammers.

Bowing his head a little, Dylan smiles, “Of course.” He turns, and disappears into the trees to go somewhere that Liam can’t see.

“What are you?” Liam lifts his eyebrows at Andy.

Laughing again, Andy shakes his head, “I’m a man?”

“B—But you… All of this,” Liam gestures widely to everything around him. “Also, he’s not just going to serve me a mud pie or something, right? There’s no way there’s a kitchen behind those bushes, so as lovely as all of that sounded, I’m mildly concerned as to what I will be eating…”

“ _Liam_ ,” Andy grins wider. “First of all, you’re making me ruin the charade. Second of all, _no._ Dylan’s one of my frat brothers, and there are a few more behind those trees cooking _real_ food on a grill. Are you always this quick to jump to the worst conclusions? _Relax,_ ” he swirls the wine in his glass before taking a drink.

Taking the cue to drink his own wine, Liam allows the remaining nervous tension to drain from his shoulders. For the remainder of the evening, he drinks all the wine that Dylan pours him, eats every bit of the surprisingly delicious food that varying guy’s in ties bring out to him, and he lets Andy indulge his every whim. He doesn’t think about Zayn for even a second. In all honesty, Andy doesn’t even give him the opportunity to.

When the dessert is finished and their glasses are empty, Liam is actually _dreading_ going home. Tilting back in his seat to pat at his stomach, Andy smiles softly, “Maybe we could do this again some time?”

_Yes!_

“That sounds like a perfect idea,” Liam smiles back, shoves all of his eager enthusiasm as deep down as the mound of food in his stomach will allow.

Not much after that, Andy takes Liam home, and like a gentleman, he walks Liam to the door. He kisses Liam’s cheek in a chaste way that still makes Liam’s cheeks flush. “I’ll see you Monday, yeah?”

“Y—Yeah,” Liam nods quickly. “See you.”

Ducking his head with a bashful grin, Andy heads back to his car, and Liam goes inside.

As soon as the door is shut behind him, Liam slides to the floor against it, and Bear pounces onto his lap. “Oh my word,” he breathes as Bear licks diligently at his rosy cheeks. “He’s not human,” he tells the little dog.

On Monday, things don’t change, and the rosy atmosphere that Andy leaves wherever he goes never fades. Zayn’s attitude toward him doesn’t alter either, but with Andy on Liam’s side, it just… doesn’t seem to matter. Plus, even Louis relents to not hating Liam again when he reveals the new books he purchased at Louis’ request.

The next week passes just like that with sweet encouragement from Andy, ease in his classroom, and more doors in his face every time he drops Louis off for his piano lessons with Zayn. By Saturday night, he’s had just about enough of Zayn’s behavior in it’s entirety, and since he doesn’t quite remember where Zayn lives, he can’t exactly just pop over there to impede on him in person like Zayn had the last time they had a small tiff. So, he crafts a carefully worded email to express his frustrations.

**To:** _Zayn Malik ([zmalik@gmail.com](mailto:zmalik@gmail.com))_

**From:** _Liam Payne ([lpayne@gmail.com](mailto:lpayne@gmail.com))_

**Subject:** _Hey_

_Zayn,_

_I’ll be honest in saying that I’ve thought of what to say to you for the last week and a half, but for the most part, I’ve come up empty. I’m not sorry for trying to get to know you as you know quite a lot about me. So, it would only be fair for me to ask the same of you._

_However, I am sorry for imposing on you, and for irritating you. Also, I’m not sure if you’ve realized it, but you’re kind of acting like a real fucking arse. It’s not like I asked you about the deepest recesses of your brain or for your dirtiest secrets. We are both professionals, and despite whatever grudge you have against me, we should at least have a professional relationship._

_When you decide to quit hating me for at least five minutes, we should talk._

_Liam_

He stares at the message for a long time before hitting the send button. He could have been nicer, more polite, and maybe even beg Zayn to be his friend again. He just doesn’t see a reason to anymore. This isn’t a stalemate anymore, it’s a peaceful protest with him sending a literal message while Zayn figuratively tosses tear gas back in his face with the protection of the little children that are constantly around them.

To Liam’s surprise as well as minor not surprise, Zayn never replies nor does his attitude change in the next week or _weeks_ after the email. It progressively develops into something more and more passive aggressive. He does occasionally sit with Liam’s kiddos at lunch, but he makes little jabs at Liam every time that he does, and on the couple times that Andy pops over to say hello or talk vaguely about future date plans, he makes snide comments toward him as well.

By the night of the Holiday show, Liam has had _enough_. Things are going well, _really well_ , with Andy, and he doesn’t need Zayn acting like a child toward him for literally _no reason_. At this point, Zayn’s aggression has gone way passed the reasonable time limit for holding a grudge over something so incredibly _small._

“I think they have seats reserved for the teachers down in the front row,” Andy leads Liam down the auditorium steps with his warm hand on the dip of Liam’s waist.

The touch eases some of the tension in Liam’s shoulders, and maybe he should just wait until after the production to confront Zayn. Yet, if he does that then he risks the chance of Zayn running out before he can. “Perfect,” he smiles softly. As they reach their seats, he lets Andy sit, but doesn’t join him, “I’m going to run backstage to check on the kiddos real quick.” He’s not sure why he didn’t just tell Andy what he was really going to do because it shouldn’t matter, but the entire time they’ve been together… Zayn’s just never been someone that he’s talked about at least not unless Andy brought him up.

“Wish them luck for me,” Andy squeezes Liam’s hand before letting him go in favor of look through the program pamphlet.

Inhaling harshly, Liam takes the wooden steps up to the stage, and ducks back into the backstage area. He spots his kiddos almost immediately, and goes over to them before attempting to search out Zayn.

“Mister!” Louis grins brightly up at him. Just like all of the little ones in Liam’s class, he’s dressed as an elf. “You’re gonna watch me play the keys, right?”

“Lou’s really _good_ ,” Harry nods with wide, awed eyes. His dark curls are twisting around the edges of his elf hat.

With a warm smile, Liam rests his hands on his hips, “I can’t wait to see! I bet you all will do really well. If you all give me your biggest smiles when you sing, I will bring cupcakes to celebrate on the first day back after the winter holiday!”

“Really?” Niall’s face lights up as he bounces on his toes, and the little bell on the end of his hat jingles with each motion.

“I promise!” Liam nods decisively. “Now, do any of you know where Mr. Zayn is?”

Pointing quickly over Harry’s head, and almost knocking Harry’s hat off, Louis gestures to the office, “Mr. Z’s in there!”

“Thank you! Good luck kiddos!” Liam offers them a small wave before squeezing through the gatherings of children to get to the office.

Inside the office, Zayn is sat behind a dark wooden desk going over sheet music, and what looks to be schedules. He’s got a green tie on tonight with little dancing reindeer all over it, and his eyebrows are pinched together in concentration. “Gemma, I told you that you have to wear the antlers at least for your song. No exceptions,” he says without looking up.

“Hm, well I guess if it’s required,” Liam replies dryly.

Almost as soon as Liam starts talking, Zayn’s head shoots up with a look of disdain, and a deep scowl. “You can’t be back here,” he grimaces.

“I wasn’t sure I would ever get a chance to corner you long enough to talk to you if I didn’t do it now,” Liam folds his arms across his chest after shutting the office door behind him.

“I don’t have time for this right now nor do I want to,” Zayn leans back in his chair.

Rolling his eyes, Liam lets out a heavy sigh. He’s _beyond_ over this attitude. He deals with enough attitude from the group of children he handles on the daily, he doesn’t need it from Zayn. “You know, I was really hoping to have a civil conversation with you because I thought that we were both adults, but you know what, I don’t think that’s possible,” he grinds his teeth a little as he mulls over what to say, and how to say it without stooping to the passive aggressive level that Zayn seems so content to live on. “What is your problem?” is what he settles on, and his tone isn’t as nice as he had intended.

“My problem?” Zayn scoffs as he pushes up from his chair, and starts to move toward the door. “My problem is that you’re trying to start something when I _very_ clearly have something more important to deal with.”

Stepping in front of Zayn to effectively block the door, Liam narrows his eyes, “The show doesn’t start for another ten minutes, Zayn.” He huffs out a frustrated breath as Zayn openly glares at him. “No, actually. I’m going to say it. I’m really tired of this whole piss poor attitude you’ve got going on. What the _fuck_ did I do to deserve you being such a _shit?_ ” he hisses.

“Back off, _Liam_ ,” Zayn’s jaw is tight, and the way he says Liam’s name is so _hateful_.

“Seriously?” Liam laughs bitterly. “We were friends, Zayn, and one night I asked you a fucking question. A dumb fucking question that you could have easily just brushed off, but _no._ You had to turn it into this whole thing. I’m happy, right now. I don’t need you acting like this. If you want to hate me for whatever reason, go ahead, just do it outside of school hours, and don’t drag Andy into it too. We’re good. We’re happy. You? You’re fucking spiteful, and childish. Seriously, fuck you, _Zayn_.”

At the mention of Andy, Zayn stills completely, his expression hard, and unreadable. “For someone who prefers to reference desserts instead of saying the real curse words, you sure are saying them a lot,” he finally says after a moment.

“ _Fuck you_ ,” Liam repeats. “Why bring Andy into it anyway? He hasn’t done anything to you. You owe him a fucking apology for all of the childish, snide shit you’ve said to him. He’s too kind to ever say anything to you about it, but you better fucking apologize.”

“Fuck you, Liam,” Zayn’s brows furrow, and his tone sharpens. “I’m not apologizing to him. I’ll say what I want to. I don’t like seeing you with him, so I’m not going to fucking apologize for anything.”

Words form in Liam’s mouth, but nothing comes out.

_What?_

Panic passes over Zayn’s face before he quickly shoves passed Liam to escape from the office into the crowds of children.

It takes a long moment for Liam to head back to his seat, and there’s a certain nervousness buzzing beneath his skin. He doesn’t know what to think of Zayn’s words or of Zayn at all. When he finally takes his seat, Andy gives him a curious look before grabbing his hand.

The show starts, but Liam hardly realizes it until Louis sits at the dark piano with Zayn by his side.

_I don’t like seeing you with him._

_Why would you say that?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at that, I've update on time, haha. This chapter was a little prickly to write, but I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> For questions, comments, suggestions, and concerns please leave a message in the comments section below or come find me on my tumblr: thatkaitykid.tumblr.com
> 
> I hope that you all are having a wonderful day!
> 
> PS: I had originally opted to have Andy write Liam a poem as his date note, but I found that the only things that rhyme with Liam are: carpe diem, free him, flee him, and knee him, haha.


	13. All I Need is...

It takes Louis singing out the beginning lines to the wrong song—“All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth!”—, and the startled laughter of the parents in the auditorium for Liam to shake himself away from thinking too much into Zayn’s heated words.

With a grin, Louis begins playing the piano as his classmates filter onto the stage to form haphazard lines. “Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho! We are Santa’s elves,” Liam’s class sings with wide smiles. “Filling Santa’s shelves with a toy for each girl and boy. Oh, we are Santa’s elves!”

In the back of his mind, Liam knows he should smile too. He knows he should be brimming with pride right now for his kids that have worked so hard, not to mention Louis is playing the piano beautifully, but his chest aches. His hand feels clammy in Andy’s grasp, and every time that Andy glances at him, he carefully looks away.

What Zayn said to Liam, he knows that it shouldn’t matter, but his brain keeps arguing for all the reasons that it does: _curiosity, Zayn’s well being could be at stake some how,_ and _it’s important to our professional relationship._

“We work hard all day, but our work is play!” Niall sings brightly before his hat falls off, and he quickly stumbles to pick it up eliciting a laugh from the audience.

“Dolls we try out, see if they cry out!” the rest of the class joins in again as Liam tries to focus on them. “We are Santa’s elves, and we have a special job each year!”

As much as Liam tries to listen, his kiddos’ singing fades away, and all he can hear is Zayn’s voice on repeat in his head. He doesn’t even notice that the entire show is over until Andy is pulling him to his feet, and out of the auditorium.

“Alright, Liam?” Andy’s brows are furrowed as they walk out to their cars.

 _I should tell him,_ Liam thinks. His throat is dry though, and he’s not sure the words forming on his tongue are the ones he needs to say. “I’m not feeling well,” he says. It’s not really a lie, but it’s not the truth that Andy deserves.

“Oh, well how about I come over, and take care of you? I can make you some soup, and you can relax, yeah?” Andy offers with a warm smile.

“You really don’t need to do that,” Liam looks toward his car with a sigh. “I’m probably just going to go to sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

With a small frown, Andy nods, and presses his lips to Liam’s forehead, “Feel better, Li.”

Turning quickly away, Liam ducks into his car. He doesn’t start it as he watches Andy walk away, but instead rubs the heels of his palms into his eyes as hard as he can. By the time that he actually decides to head back home, the majority of the car park is empty, and he almost considers texting Andy to tell him that he’s changed his mind. He could use company, and Andy _does_ always make him feel better. Yet, he would feel like an ass for making Andy drive all the way home, and then drive back to his house. Andy wouldn’t complain, of course, because he never does, but _still._

So, Liam heads home alone, and drowns out Zayn’s voice in his head with the loud nonsensical music that the radio insists on playing. It essentially works until he steps out of his car, and the ringing left in his ears is fought off by the jumbled yelling of one very distraught _Zayn_ standing on his stoop _._

“What I said in the office—None of it means anything!” Zayn yells, and his hazel eyes are wide, _fearful_. “Alright? I just meant that I didn’t think the two of you work that great together, okay? That’s all,” he rushes. His holiday tie is loosened to the point that it’s just about to slip off of his neck, and his hair is ruffled up like he might have been pulling on it.

“O—Okay…” Liam replies slowly, but he doesn’t move any closer because Zayn looks like he might just attack him if he attempts to. “Let’s just take a breath, okay?”

An exasperated look overcomes Zayn’s face before he makes a half gesture between himself and Liam, “Do _not_ talk to me like a child, Liam!”

Nodding quickly, Liam takes a hesitant step toward Zayn, “I’m not trying to. I—I’m sorry, okay? Let’s go inside… We can talk about it, and I’ll make some tea for us…” When Zayn doesn’t protest, he steps carefully around Zayn, and unlocks his front door to let them inside.

“You just pissed me off,” Zayn continues once the door is closed. He doesn’t take his shoes off or his coat, and when Bear nips at his laces, he doesn’t even acknowledge the little ball of fur. “You made me mad, that’s all. I’ve been stressed out about this whole Holiday production with all the kids. That’s not to complain because they’re all great. They were all great, you know? Did you like it?” he asks, and his hands are fidgeting with his sleeves now as he shakily follows Liam into the kitchen.

“The kids did great,” Liam nods again as he quietly fills up the kettle, and puts it on one of the stove burners. He isn’t sure how to proceed with any of this because Zayn just seems so… _frantic._

Pacing around the small island countertop, Zayn pulls two tea mugs down from one of the cabinets before putting them back only to pull down two different ones a moment later. “I—I didn’t mean anything by what I said, you know? I just couldn’t get you to shut up, and I had so many things to do. I needed to check the costumes, and to make sure that Louis still wanted to play his piece. T—Then, I had to…” he rambles on.

“Zayn,” Liam quietly tries to bring Zayn’s attention over to him as he pours steaming water into the two mugs.

“N—No! You don’t get to talk now, Liam,” Zayn doesn’t take the mug. “I need you to listen to me. Do you understand?”

Dipping a tea bag in his own mug, Liam shuts his mouth. He keeps his stare focused intently on the amber liquid in his mug, and waits nervously for Zayn to continue. He had been so mad before, but now… With Zayn, so _upset,_ he’s not quite sure how to feel about anything at all. _How can you have me reeling like this?_

“I—I’m just trying to look out for you, you know? Andy seems really nice and all, but… I don’t know. I just don’t think that it’s a good match, and you’re a really great person… I think you deserve the best, and he just is not _the_ best. That’s all I was trying to say, but that’s just my opinion…” Zayn makes an aborted gesture with his hands before tugging the slipping tie from his neck, and stuffing it into his pocket. “I just want you to be happy because you’re… my friend, and you’re right. I was treating you like shit, and I should have talked to you. It wasn’t fair to you or professional of me…”

 _You’re a really great person… I think you deserve the best…_ Liam thinks of the dinners he’s had with Andy, all of the effort, and care that Andy put into everything they have done together. He couldn’t imagine anything better, anyone else putting that much attention on his happiness, and Zayn has seen some of the things Andy has done. Zayn has seen the times that Andy has brought Liam lunch, and the times that Andy has left little gifts by Liam’s car or his classroom door.

“Zayn,” Liam interrupts when Zayn is rambling on about something he hasn’t been able to catch. “I _am_ happy. Plus, if we were friends to the point that you would even care about my relationship, you wouldn’t have snapped at me for asking about yours. This isn’t… You don’t get to just pick and choose when you want to be my friend. It isn’t fair to do that. Not to mention the way you’ve been acting at school. You created so much unnecessary tension that the _kids_ picked up on it. I had to bribe them into behaving by buying them new books, and toys for the treasure chest. That was so out of line, Zayn.”

“That’s not fair, Liam. Not fair at all, and you know that!” Zayn is raising his voice again, but he’s not angry. “I didn’t want to talk about my ex-wife, and you sort of just dropped that question on me out of nowhere! You have to understand why it was a touchy thing for me, and yeah I could have handled this all way better… Let me fix this, okay? Please,” he’s practically cornered Liam against the kitchen cabinets now, his voice so loud that Bear has hidden away in Liam’s room.

Shaking his head, Liam sets down his mug, “No, Zayn! All you have to do is apologize, and stay out of my relationship with Andy, okay? You have turned this whole situation into something immature, and annoying more than anything else! Is it that hard to say ‘Liam, I fucked up,’ or ‘Liam, I’m sorry for being an ass’? This shit about you caring about my happiness is such bull—“

It takes a long moment for Liam to realize what’s happening after that. He can tell that Zayn is so much closer, that the kitchen counter is digging into his spine, and that Zayn is…

_Zayn is kissing me._

Before Liam can think to breathe more or less react, Zayn is backing away with a horrified look on his face, “I—I didn’t mean to do that.”

“Z—Zayn,” Liam stammers, but Zayn is grabbing his keys off the counter and tripping out the front door before Liam can stop him. He thinks that he should follow after Zayn, but his legs don’t seem to agree.

_Zayn kissed me._

_Shit._

For a long time, Liam doesn’t move from his spot in the kitchen. He doesn’t even think to lock the front door until his phone vibrates where it’s wedged in his pocket against the counter top. He checks it with the unsettled hope that it’s Zayn explaining himself, but no. The message is from Andy. Andy, his kind boyfriend, checking to see if he needs anything because _right_ , he’s supposed to be sick. A small part of him wishes that he had agreed to let Andy come take care of him because none of this would have happened, and now he’s in the uncomfortable position of having to explain all of this.

 _I should call him,_ Liam rubs his sleeve over his mouth. _It won’t be weird if I call Andy, and tell him about it now. It’ll become a whole thing if I wait… But, then I’ll have to explain the whole Zayn thing. What even is the whole Zayn thing?_

Fidgeting with his phone, Liam flips through his contacts before landing on Andy’s number. He stares at it for a few minutes as guilt builds in his chest, and he shoves his phone back into his pocket. He doesn’t know what to do here, what to do with the situation that Zayn has dropped on his lap, and none of this is _fair_. He was—no, he _is_ happy… He scrubs a hand over his face, and curls up on the sofa.

_Why would you do that?_

Tugging out his phone once more, Liam flips to Zayn’s number, and hits dial.

_I deserve answers._

_That wasn’t fair, Zayn._

The line rings twice before dropping straight into Zayn’s voicemail. When he redials two more times, it doesn’t ring at all, but instead heads right to the automated voicemail system.

With a sigh, Liam tucks the phone underneath the sofa cushions before pulling Bear up by his side, and flipping on the television. By the time he falls asleep with Bear’s tail in his face, he’s sure that he’s watched several episodes of something or other, but he couldn’t explain what they were about if his life depended on it.

Saturday morning rolls in with the cushion vibrating against his cheek because his phone is ringing, and he wants nothing more than to ignore it. Yet, there’s the possibility that it could be Zayn explaining what the mess yesterday was.

“Hello?” Liam grumbles into the receiver.

“ _Liam, hey_ ,” Andy greets, and even through the phone, Liam can hear his smile.

Sitting up, and dislodging Bear from the crook of his neck, Liam rubs a hand over his face, “Andy, morning.”

“ _Still not feeling well?_ ” Andy asks.

 _Tell the truth,_ Liam thinks as he tightens his grip on the phone. “I’m feeling a little better. I just woke up,” he takes a small breath. “How are you?”

“ _I’m good, just about to go for a run,_ ” Andy replies, and there’s the sound of door closing.

“Run?” Liam laughs weakly. “It’s freezing outside.”

Chuckling, Andy doesn’t seem deterred in the slightest, “W _hen you run, you heat up pretty fast. Plus, I can out run the cold!_ ”

“Of course you can,” Liam glances out the window, doesn’t think he would step outside right now even if he had to. _Tell the truth._ “Andy—“

“ _I’ll call you when I get back home, okay?_ ” Andy interrupts.

Nodding a little, Liam’s brows furrow, “Okay. Have a good run.”

“ _Keep resting!_ ” Andy huffs out a breath before he hangs up.

For a few minutes, Liam merely stares at his phone.

_I should have insisted. Andy would have listened._

Rubbing a hand over his hair, Liam sets the phone on the coffee table before going to change. He tugs on a pair of comfy joggers, and a pullover. Then, he proceeds to make himself something to eat.

_I won’t let this turn into something that it doesn’t need to be._

So, he goes about his day the best that he can, and pretends that nothing is wrong. He doesn’t worry about fixing this situation because there is _nothing to fix_. He will explain the circumstances to Andy, and everything will return to the way that it’s supposed to be. Zayn will… Zayn will have to figure out his mess on his own without causing collateral damage in Liam’s life.

While waiting for Andy to call him back, Liam feeds Bear, starts his laundry, and vacuums the sparse amount of carpet that he has. He’s in the middle of looking up ideas for the holiday party that’s coming up the next Friday before the break when Andy finally rings him back.

“Hey, how was the run? Break the sound barrier?” Liam pinches himself for the poor joke.

On the other end, Andy laughs anyway, “ _Not today, but I think I’m getting close. What are you up to?_ ”

“Holiday party planning,” Liam lets out a sigh as he scratches at the scruff on his chin. _Need a shave,_ he thinks. “Hey, I… I need to talk to you about something.”

“ _Ooh, that doesn’t sound good. What did I do?_ ” Andy chuckles.

 _This is a non-issue. Just explain._ “No, no, it’s not anything you did. It’s just something that happened. So, this is a bit uncomfortable, but really it’s nothing to worry about,” Liam goes on, and he’s building this up way too much. _Just say it, you fudging idiot._ “So, when I went backstage last night, I talked to Zayn, and we had a little argument. Then, when I went home, Zayn was at my place. He was upset, and when I tried to talk to him… H—He kissed me.”

“ _Oh,_ ” Andy’s amusement is gone, and his tone has flattened a little.

“It’s not anything to worry about though!” Liam rushes a bit frantically. “I didn’t, you know, kiss him or anything like that. He ran out after that. I—I just wanted you to know. I’m sorry,” his chest is tight.

For a moment, Andy is quiet, but when Liam checks, he finds that Andy hasn’t hung up.

“I’m sorry,” Liam repeats softly.

“ _It’s… It’s not a great thing to hear. Definitely not what I was hoping to talk about this early in the day,_ ” Andy laughs weakly. “ _Like you said though, it isn’t something to worry about. You didn’t kiss him, that’s what matters to me._ ”

Taking in a massive breath, Liam nods even though Andy can’t see him.

“ _Certainly explains his attitude toward you and me though, doesn’t it?”_ Andy muses. “ _Didn’t realize he was interested in guys._ ”

_Interested in guys._

“Maybe he was drunk,” Liam pushes Andy’s words out of his mind, and focuses instead on the fact that Andy isn’t mad, that Andy understands.

“ _After a kids holiday show?_ ” Andy snorts. “ _Doubt it. Well, I’ll let you get back to party planning. Don’t let any other boys kiss you, okay?_ ”

Liam holds onto the smile that he can hear in Andy’s voice, and smiles a little himself, “I won’t, promise. If you have any good ideas, let me know.”

“ _Will do. Bye, Li,_ ” Andy says.

“Bye-bye Andy,” Liam hangs up with a relieved sigh, and looks down at Bear who’s gnawing on his sock. “Andy’s a great guy…”

Shoving the rest of his worries away from his thoughts, Liam spends the rest of his Saturday planning the holiday party, and figuring out some crafts that the class can do on that day. To his credit, he also spends a few hours figuring out a way to incorporate more than just the traditional Christmas themes because there are more out there, and his kiddos should learn a little while they party too. He makes a list of the supplies he needs to purchase at some point before the party, and works on a poster for each individual holiday to hang around his classroom. He attempts to make the information as concise as possible so that his kiddos can understand what each holiday is about, but he also tries to keep them interesting so that the parent volunteers might maybe be a little impressed by him.

By the time that he goes to sleep, he doesn’t feel worried or stressed. He dreams of Andy, and of the kids in his class dressed up in their elf costumes. He doesn’t think about Zayn or about what’s going on with the music teacher because he realizes that it’s not for him to worry about. Zayn’s issues are his own, and they are none of Liam’s concern.

On Monday morning, Liam decorates his classroom with the posters that he made as well as some fairy lights that he dug out of his storage unit. He’s staring proudly at his creation when Louis appears in the doorway.

“Mister, what have you done?” Louis squints at all of the new things in the classroom with his hands on his hips. His cheeks are rosy from having just been outside, and he looks wide-awake despite the early hour.

“Well, King Louis,” Liam starts as he mimics Louis’ pose. “I have just finished decorating in preparation for the coming holidays.”

With a grumble, Louis paces the room, considering each poster with mild interest. “These aren’t holidays, Mister. Did you make these up? Where’s Christmas?” he asks after a moment of staring up at one of the posters.

“Nope, I didn’t,” Liam comes up beside Louis, and gestures to the poster. “These are all _real_ holidays that occur this month. The one for Christmas is by the door. This one is Bodhi Day. Do you know what that is?”

Making a scrunched up face, Louis leans a little closer to the poster to peer at Liam’s drawings, “No.”

“Well, Bodhi Day is a celebration in honor of the day that Siddhartha Gautama received enlightenment under the Bodhi tree. The Buddhist community observes the principles of kindness, compassion, and wisdom during that holiday,” Liam smiles as he points to his attempt at drawing Buddha. “For thirty days after Bodhi Day, the community turns on colorful lights each night as part of the celebration.”

“What’s enlightenment?” Louis asks as he tilts his head to the side.

 _Enlightenment, fair question._ “Well, um, enlightenment is… Okay, you know the class from the Magic School Bus?” Liam weighs out how to properly explain the word. “When Ms. Frizzle teaches them something new, she is enlightening them. Right now, I’m giving you enlightenment about what it means to be enlightened,” he chuckles a little at his poor joke.

Tilting his head to the other side and pursing his lips, Louis squints again, “So it’s like learning? Who was Sid… Siddhartha’s teacher?”

Frowning a little, Liam scratches at his scruff, “Well, Louis… I will admit that I do not know the answer to that. I know that he didn’t necessarily have a teacher, not one like me anyway… I will find out for you though, okay?” He’s not sure how to answer Louis in a way that doesn’t over step his bounds or would sense to a child, but he’s proud that Louis even _wanted_ to know more.

Just as Louis nods curiously, the rest of Liam’s class begins to filter in, and his day kicks off on the best foot. He briefly explains why the classroom is decorated the way that it is, and even manages to get through his lesson on writing cursive letters before taking the kiddos down to the gymnasium.

“You gonna… You gonna play with us today, Mr. Liam?” Niall peers with wide eyes up at Liam. His dark hair is spiked up today with some sort of pomade, and he looks so hopeful.

“O—Oh,” Liam can’t really refuse that little face. “Of course, I am!”

Coach Paul snorts and lifts an eyebrow as Liam shrugs out of his cardigan. “Stretches! Harry, you’re our leader today. Let’s go!” he shouts.

Teetering over to the front of the group, Harry nods a little. His curls are still mussed up from when Louis tried to mold them into a cursive letter only a few minutes earlier.

“Count in… Let’s try Japanese today. If you don’t remember what they are, they’re listed on the board in red,” Paul points out the red letters on the whiteboard from where he stands beside Harry. “Go.”

“U—Um, right foot…” Harry quietly says as he reaches down to touch his the toe of his tennis shoe.

The class, and Liam mimic the movement. “Ichi, ni, san, shi…” the class counts loudly, and Liam is left struggling to follow the stretches while periodically glancing at the board. He ends up reading off the wrong ones, and _how many languages has Paul taught these kids to count to ten in?_

Once the stretches are finished, Paul splits the kiddos into two groups for a spirited game of football. It ends up being more of a game of who can accidentally kick the ball into the makeshift goal rather than trip over it. Louis’ team loses to his very loud dismay when Harry, in an attempt to pass to Eleanor, kicks the ball right into their team’s own goal.

The rest of the day goes splendidly, and when the kiddos head home, Liam spares Andy a kiss before heading home. Tuesday follows much of the same delightful pattern, and it isn’t until Liam’s in his car that he realizes he hasn’t seen Zayn _at all_ in the last two days. Plus, Louis hadn’t stayed after school for his piano lessons the day before nor had he today.

 _Odd,_ Liam thinks as he starts his car, and heads home. Once he’s inside, he considers calling Zayn because he’s over their situation, and they really need to get passed this whole thing. When he does call, it goes straight to voicemail, and he is not at all surprised. So, he crafts out an email instead.

_Emails are non-threatening. Be an adult, Zayn, come on._

**To:** _Zayn Malik (_ [ _zmalik@gmail.com_ ](mailto:zmalik@gmail.com) _)_

**From:** _Liam Payne (_ [ _lpayne@gmail.com_ ](mailto:lpayne@gmail.com) _)_

**Subject:** _Hey_

_Zayn,_

            _I’m going to be honest with you. What happened… shouldn’t have happened, but it’s okay. Well, not okay, but it doesn’t need to be a big deal, alright? I talked with Andy about the situation, and everything’s fine._

_I think that we should meet for coffee or something to discuss this though, okay? No pressure or anything, I’m not gonna yell. Hell, I’ll even buy the drinks if you actually show up. We should at least talk enough so that we can be friends on a professional level._

_Also, are you okay?_

_The kiddos miss you._

_Liam_

He reads over the email twice before he hits send, and goes on with the rest of his evening. In truth, he doesn’t expect a response. If Zayn’s past behavior is any indication, he can expect to be ignored, and greeted with snide comments when Zayn finally does reappear.

Yet, when Liam climbs into bed that evening, there’s a new email in his inbox.

**To:** _Liam Payne (_ [ _lpayne@gmail.com_ ](mailto:lpayne@gmail.com) _)_

**From:** _Zayn Malik (_ [ _zmalik@gmail.com_ ](mailto:zmalik@gmail.com) _)_

**Subject:** _Re:_ _Hey_

_I’m so sorry._

There’s nothing more to the message, but for now… The three words will have to be enough. So, he turns on his alarm, texts Andy goodnight, and curls up with Bear for the best sleep he can manage.

On Wednesday, Liam doesn’t see Zayn when gets to the school, but he’s early so it’s probably unlikely that Zayn has skipped again. So, he heads to his classroom, and starts his day.

During the first few hours before gym time, Liam takes the opportunity to discuss some of the other holidays with his students.

“This one is Pancha Ganapati, a Hindu holiday in celebration of Lord Ganesha,” Liam explains as he points to his best attempt at drawing the elephant god. “This holiday is a little bit like Christmas, but probably more like Hanukkah in that the people who celebrate it have five days of gift giving. Also, during this time, people try to fix their past mistakes to honor Lord Ganesha.”

“Why’s he got an elephant head?” Ed asks in confusion.

 _Right, how to explain that…_ “Um, well according to what I have read, there are a few different reasons… Some believe that Lord Ganesha was born with an elephant head, while most others believe that he was beheaded when he was trying to protect… Parvati, another Hindu god, and she gave him the elephant head. So, in truth, I don’t really know the answer to that question,” Liam laughs. “Back to the holiday itself though, it’s about bringing Lord Ganesha’s blessings of joy, and harmony into the peoples lives. Now, this one over here is the Japanese holiday, Omisoka…”

At gym time, Liam does himself a favor, and absolutely does not participate in any of the oddly challenging physical activities. Instead, he heads down to the teacher’s lounge, and makes himself a mocha latte in the new Keurig machine that someone gifted the second grade teacher on Teacher Appreciation Day. He’s in the middle of reading some article about Kim Kardashian’s ex boyfriend Reggie Bush when the door to the teacher’s lounge opens.

“ _Oh_ ,” the person says quietly, and whoever it is doesn’t move any further into the room.

Looking up from his phone, Liam stills.

_Zayn._

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were in here,” Zayn admits as he turns to walk back out of the lounge. He looks tired with dark bags under his eyes, and his hair isn’t the usually artfully tousled mess that it usually is.

“Hey, no, no. Don’t leave. I was just reading about more celebrity corruption,” Liam laughs hesitantly. “Please, save me from killing off more brain cells.”

 _This is uncomfortable,_ Liam thinks. _If I can make this normal though… Maybe we can fix this problem without any more damage._ _Yep, I can do that._

“Someone brought in a whole bunch of new k-cups. I personally would recommend the Gevalia ones, but you should probably just try them all,” Liam goes on when Zayn relents to letting the lounge door close. To shut himself up, he takes a long drink of his still scalding latte.

“I’m… I’m more of a black coffee guy,” Zayn walks over to the old coffee pot, and begins going about making a fresh pot.

Nodding, Liam sets his phone aside, “Fair enough.”

There’s a long stretch of silence where Zayn focuses hard on watching the drip of the coffee into the glass pot, and Liam stares down at his latte like it might make this uncomfortable situation disappear.

It doesn’t; not even in the slightest.

Once the coffee is finished, Zayn sits on the edge of the furthest sofa cushion away from Liam, and fidgets with the edge of his collar. “Look, um… about what happened after the Holiday show…” he begins after a long stretch of silence.

“We don’t… We don’t have to talk about that,” Liam coughs on his next drink of his latte.

“No, no,” Zayn’s face scrunches a little. “You were right, I was acting like a child. I’m sorry for the way that I treated you and Andy. Then, the thing that happened in your kitchen… that wasn’t… that wasn’t supposed to happen. I actually apologized to Andy this morning…” he doesn’t look at Liam when he says any of it, but the words are weighted with that quiet sincerity that is just so characteristically him.

For a moment, Liam remembers how lovely Zayn could be, but then he wonders if that now seemingly so small bit of loveliness could matter enough. If any of it could matter enough to… _to what?_ He takes another long sip of his latte, and frowns at himself before turning a more forced smile on Zayn. “Good,” he says, and he’s not quite sure what’s so good here. “I mean, I’m glad that things don’t have to be weird anymore,” he quickly corrects.

“Yeah,” Zayn replies softly, and maybe he’s not so sure of anything here either.

_Maybe that’s okay for now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A belated happy holidays and happy new year to all of you!
> 
> Comment below with your thoughts, feelings, wishes, and deepest fears, haha!
> 
> Toodles!


End file.
